Orangebrittainy
Well-known member
I am sure many of you have been in this same position. I am very independent, Always have been. I take pride in being able to care for myself and my family. Its driving me up the wall to need so much help. I am to the point where I can wash the dishes, but all of my cabinets are either too high or too low, so I need someone to put them away. I asked DH for 4 days to put the dishes away, I tried on several attempts to do it myself. Each day he forgot, I felt even worse because it was another day for things to pile up. I am itching to get up and go, but I can't reach into to the washer to get wet clothes out, I can't reach into the deep freezer (its not full anymore) to pull out meat. Its driving me up the wall. Essentially I feel useless. For the first time since I was 13, I feel like I am contributing nothing to the household. I feel lazy, and I hate it. I know logically I am trying to heal, but too me its just not enough. My SIL and BIL are living with us, and just had twins Monday. I hate that people are coming over to see the babies, and my floor needs to be vacuumed but I can't do it. I hate when I have dishes piled up for the simple fact that everyone is too busy to put the dishes away for me so I can wash them.
DH has been asking a lot about sex lately and I feel like I am an inadequate wife because even if I was to the point where I could physically perform. Emotionally I am no where near close. I talked to him about how it made me feel, but I still don't feel any better about the issue. It feels like a long time before I will feel human again, the thought of feeling woman again is incomprehensible.
I am hoping that by typing this out and sharing it with people who might understand, that I will get my emotions under control. I know I have much to be thankful for and I am very grateful for the friends and family that have helped us through this.
DH has been asking a lot about sex lately and I feel like I am an inadequate wife because even if I was to the point where I could physically perform. Emotionally I am no where near close. I talked to him about how it made me feel, but I still don't feel any better about the issue. It feels like a long time before I will feel human again, the thought of feeling woman again is incomprehensible.
I am hoping that by typing this out and sharing it with people who might understand, that I will get my emotions under control. I know I have much to be thankful for and I am very grateful for the friends and family that have helped us through this.