I was told once that it refers to the fact that a p and q miirror one another
and are therefore easily mixed up.So it means to mind the details or to try
to stay within boundaries.
It does make sense.
Joke time
- Thread starter Ross
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I was told once that it refers to the fact that a p and q miirror one another
and are therefore easily mixed up.So it means to mind the details or to try
to stay within boundaries.
It does make sense.
After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the missus felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.
He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf.
Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?'
'I found the remote,' he mumbled..
..-....-.....---.....---.--------........---...--
He never knew what hit him!!
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.
He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf.
Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?'
'I found the remote,' he mumbled..
..-....-.....---.....---.--------........---...--
He never knew what hit him!!
Freddie, is your hubby out of town again?
HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA
K
Karlynn
Welcome to my world!
That was funny, Bina. Good one. "Innocence of children"
Cooker, just find your remote and you'll be fine
The Ring
The Ring
An older, white haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening
with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking
for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock
and brought out a $5,000 ring. The old man said,"No, I'd like to see
something more special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000" the jeweller
said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "by
check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now
and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring
up Monday afternoon," he said.
Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that
account."
"I know," said the old man, "But let me tell you about my weekend!"
All Seniors Aren't Senile
The Ring
An older, white haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening
with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking
for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock
and brought out a $5,000 ring. The old man said,"No, I'd like to see
something more special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000" the jeweller
said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "by
check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now
and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring
up Monday afternoon," he said.
Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that
account."
"I know," said the old man, "But let me tell you about my weekend!"
All Seniors Aren't Senile
Bonzo Dog
Well-known member
Bonzo, talk about a quickie........I watched it 3 times. Funny stuff.
Turkey Hunter
Well-known member
Far far away lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts, but Nick
the Dragon slayer knew the penalty for this desire would be death should
he try and touch them.
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio, the
Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician
exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy
his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it.
Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and
poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon
after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.
Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident,
Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special
saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and
that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer
would work as the antidote to cure the itch.
The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician
then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder,
which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick
worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts.
The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer
left satisfied and touted as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the
Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins.
With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have
cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report
this matter to the King, with a laugh just told him to get lost.
The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same
itching powder into the King's underwear.
The King immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer...
The moral of the story - - Pay Your Bills.
the Dragon slayer knew the penalty for this desire would be death should
he try and touch them.
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio, the
Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician
exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy
his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it.
Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and
poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon
after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.
Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident,
Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special
saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and
that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer
would work as the antidote to cure the itch.
The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician
then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder,
which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick
worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts.
The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer
left satisfied and touted as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the
Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins.
With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have
cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report
this matter to the King, with a laugh just told him to get lost.
The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same
itching powder into the King's underwear.
The King immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer...
The moral of the story - - Pay Your Bills.
Turkey Hunter
Well-known member
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago,
it would now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original
$1000.
With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you
would have $49.00 left.
If you had purchased United Airlines or Lehman Brothers,
you would have nothing left.
But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year
ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the
aluminum recycling refund you would have $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is
to drink heavily and recycle. This is called the 401-Keg Plan
it would now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original
$1000.
With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you
would have $49.00 left.
If you had purchased United Airlines or Lehman Brothers,
you would have nothing left.
But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year
ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the
aluminum recycling refund you would have $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is
to drink heavily and recycle. This is called the 401-Keg Plan
Sears Catalog
Two rednecks were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models.
One says to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?'
The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the
price!'
The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive.
At this price, I'm buying one.'
The second one smiles and pats him on the back. 'Good idea! Order one
and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one
too.'
Three weeks later, the youngest redneck asks his friend, 'Did you ever
receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?'
The second redneck replies, 'No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got
her clothes yesterday!'
Two rednecks were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models.
One says to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?'
The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the
price!'
The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive.
At this price, I'm buying one.'
The second one smiles and pats him on the back. 'Good idea! Order one
and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one
too.'
Three weeks later, the youngest redneck asks his friend, 'Did you ever
receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?'
The second redneck replies, 'No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got
her clothes yesterday!'
Bonzo Dog
Well-known member
Basnk for sale
Basnk for sale
Time to get out of the market.
Any one like to buy my bank?
Basnk for sale
Time to get out of the market.
Any one like to buy my bank?
LOL, Ben! I'll drink to this plan.
Better than just crying into my beer after looking at the paltry remains of my so-called "retirement" plan. 
Bonzo,
So you want us to jump out of the pan and into the fire?
You must bank at Bradford & Bingley.
John
Ross
Well-known member
Bonzo Dog
Well-known member
Actually John the B&B HQ, a sizeable employer, is just two miles along the valley from us. Offering self certification mortgages, where asking for a loan, I sign a piece of paper saying I earn £xxx,xxx per year and it is taken on trust to be correct, was their market strategy.
So IMHO their demise is deserved. Never the less there are understandable concerns for our local economy.
Ross
Well-known member
Thats fun, but couldn't they have changed it a bit to include a happy ending?
Jack and Ennis forever!
Jim
