Surgery this Thurs June 28,2012 Trouble keeping the calm.

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Gribur

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 25, 2012
Messages
72
Location
Ontario, Canada
Well, finally seems to be way to real. Told the children this evening and they are very excited that Daddy will not be so tired and have more energy, also thrilled about helping Daddy get well, my 4 year old even offered me his favorite worldly possession, a stuffed lizard saying "it helps me sleep every night". As for myself and my wife, we are pretty much freaking out. I know people are trying to be nice but I have heard so many times "you will be fine, your strong" I am now just wondering how would they know lol. I am very scared, not so much about the recovery, but making it through the surgery. They will be performing a modified Bentall, replacing my aortic valve and arch, worries me having the arch added on top of the valve. I am also scared to death as to whether mechanical was the right choice or not, with the blood thinners and ticking and all. I just thought of another scary thought, I will have surgery in London On and be monitored for the week or so, then I will be sent home to my small town which has a hospital that scares me and I really don't think they could handle much if anything were to happen, which seems to be the norm, from what I have read, ending up back in the hospital after release. Wow, I am rambling sorry guys. Hope everyone is well and if you have any secrets or last minute info, please please let me know, the last thing i need to do is be shocked by something I did not read.
 
You will be FINE!!!! It's normal to be anxious and scared ... but in a week it'll all be behind you. The first couple of days are tough so don't try to be a hero. Make sure you get the painkillers BEFORE you need them i.e. don't wait for them to wear off. It's hard to concentrate on much in the days after the surgery. I had grand plans to read a lot, and watch some tv but my mind just kept wandering and I'd just keep dozing off. Once you start walking around the ward, you feel better .. .and then once you're home SO MUCH BETTER! The kids will love taking care of you ... just make sure they don't give you a giant hug as it might hurt a tad ... ask them to bring a cushion to squish between you and them ... makes the hugging much easier and they think it's great fun. Lots of people don't end up in hospital again, so don't assume you will. Just enjoy being looked after by amazing doctors and nurses and other professionals. Take your mobile and/or ipad to hospital ... Facebook is a great way to keep people informed of your progress without getting exhausted... and you can text people who are visiting to say you want lollies/biscuits/chocolate ... which I did, but then when it arrived, I couldn't face eating it :(
You will be FINE! :)
 
Right before my surgery I had similar thoughts that you're having - that thought that you just might not make it through the surgery, it can be a scary time. But afterwards, everything was fine.

I agree with Allison, it is so very normal to be scared, but you will be fine!!!

Know that your medical professionals know what they are doing. I think that communication with them is key, let them know about your concerns, any pain you have, and any question that pops in your head - write it down or tell your wife so she can ask. I also brought pictures of my family and had my husband set those around my room. I think that really helped me and it started conversations with the hospital staff. It was also possible for my husband to stay over night with me and that really gave me lots of comfort during my stay.

It's hard right now, but you will be fine, just keep repeating that in your head, and believe it!!!!

Thinking about you,

Rachel
 
Heart surgery is a big event in our lives, especially, if, like me, you've never before had a major health problem. Still, its necessary to take a deep breath and recall that for your surgeon this is a routine part of his work day and that your chances of not surviving are very low. The primary thing to remember is that it is your disease that is the problem; surgery is your way out. You have an escape from a terminal condition and that is a wonderful thing. My Grandfather, from whom I got my valve problem, died at 48 and his son, my Uncle Paul, at 52. My Uncle Bob was the first to have a valve replacement and died at 80 from too many years of smoking but not because of his heart valve. You and I can expect to live normal lives with a normal life span and surgery is our gateway. Just as Allison says, the first few days may be fuzzy. Of the books and things I took with me, the only thing I used was my MP3 player because it didn't matter that I was going to nod off after a few minutes; I never even turned on the television. By day four after surgery, however, I was ready to get home and it felt so good to be back in my own bed surrounded by life. I found the early days of recovery to be quite wonderful. You can almost feel yourself healing as your strength and stamina return. Your children may later remember your recovery as a great time in their lives. It was certainly true for me. Give them tasks and definately designate a "hugging pillow" if your hospital doesn't provide you with one. You are going to feel well again.

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Larry
 
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Mentu and others, this was so very well put. Gribur, what you are feeling is what almost everyone has gone through. You need to be strong for your family and know that you are far better off getting this done. Fact is that you NEED this to happen, so just get it done and live happily ever after. For now, try to relax, maybe take some Xanax and have some fun times with your family as if you're going on vacation shortly. When you are home post-OP it will be a vacation for you and lots of work for everyone else. So prepare for that and do not worry. Well, not a vacation for you, but you will definitely have to do less than you do now for a short while.

One more thing, when you go in for surgery the whole thing will seem like a moment to you, one moment they are prepping you and talking to you, and next moment you are awake, groggy and see nurses and possibly loved ones. Your loved ones will have to go through 6+ hours of waiting, and every moment of that waiting is a torture. My wife and family recalled the waiting hours and I would not want to be in the waiting room with them.

Here is a peace of tough love: You think you are worried, think about your kids, wife, and family. You must stay strong, share your feelings, but know as we know that you will be fine, and assure them of the same. It's ok to be scared, and ok to share the feelings, but you also need to make sure that they all make it through without going completely gray.
 
Everything others have said is absolutely true!! One more thing to consider....you don't hear nearly as much about all the good things that happen and the people who had few bumps, if any, in the road. It is very natural for forums such as this to have more people with issues asking about them than all the many. many. many people who have essentially sailed through this. I, for one, was a "sailor" and my hope for you is that you will be, too.
All will be well. Honest!
 
Gribur said:
Well, finally seems to be way to real. Told the children this evening and they are very excited that Daddy will not be so tired and have more energy, also thrilled about helping Daddy get well, my 4 year old even offered me his favorite worldly possession, a stuffed lizard saying "it helps me sleep every night". As for myself and my wife, we are pretty much freaking out. I know people are trying to be nice but I have heard so many times "you will be fine, your strong" I am now just wondering how would they know lol. I am very scared, not so much about the recovery, but making it through the surgery. They will be performing a modified Bentall, replacing my aortic valve and arch, worries me having the arch added on top of the valve. I am also scared to death as to whether mechanical was the right choice or not, with the blood thinners and ticking and all. I just thought of another scary thought, I will have surgery in London On and be monitored for the week or so, then I will be sent home to my small town which has a hospital that scares me and I really don't think they could handle much if anything were to happen, which seems to be the norm, from what I have read, ending up back in the hospital after release. Wow, I am rambling sorry guys. Hope everyone is well and if you have any secrets or last minute info, please please let me know, the last thing i need to do is be shocked by something I did not read.
Click to expand...

Your worries and fears are so normal and most of us experience similar.
As to most of us needing to return to the hospital after we have been released home, that simply is not the case.
Yes, some have 'bumps in the road to recovery' that requires re-admittance but it is definitely not most of us.

I had two OHS in four years and healed well, quickly and no 'emergencies' after either.
Every reason to think you will, as well.
Sending you all best wishes.
Please be sure to let us know how you are doing.

Remember...... almost all of us agree, the wait is the worst part of the whole experience!!!
 
The problem is what you face is unknown to you. It's hard to just accept that this surgery is overwhelmingly safe and successful. After studying this, that's what I focused on. I expected to do well and spent little time thinking about the very unlikely bad result. I had the arch done, etc.

Your statement that it's the "norm" for something to happen and end up back in the hospital after being sent home is just not true. We've had a few unfortunate reports like that here, but it is NOT the norm. The vast majority of people go home, have some minor issues, like sleeping problems, itchy scars, good days/bad days, and go through the recovery. It's not all peaches and cream but slowly you get better and better. Get your local doctors lined up. You should visit your cardiologist for followup about a week after getting home.
 
They're all correct. I too made it through the whole thing with no readmittance. I won't tell you that you will be fine because you're right...how would I know? But the odds are definitely very strongly in your favor. Here's something I try very hard to remember...not always easy...worrying won't help! Is worrying going to change your outcome? Is worrying going to make your surgeon perform better? Is worrying going to make it hurt less? Is worrying going to help your family make it through wih you? Worrying = stress (bad for your heart) and it is contagious, so worry definitely does more harm than good. What I also tried to remember on the occasions where all that logic still couldn't overcome my emotions is that IF, in the remote possibility that something did happen, I would want my daughter's memories to be of how much I loved her and not how much I worried. And when that didn't help...anti-anxiety meds did :). Part of the key to getting through this ordeal is a positive outlook...I'm only 4 months post op,and the whole thing is already a blur.
 
I'm five weeks post-op and feeling great. Yes, I was anxious before surgery because this was my 2nd OHS. Just keep thinking about the things you'll be able to do afterward that you can't now.
What a difference a month will make! You will be weak right after surgery and wonder how you will ever walk around or climb stairs again. But then, you get help to do it, and by day 4 or 5 you are wondering what the fuss was about. As many here will tell you, getting out of that bed and being a little more active each day helps the most.
Best wishes tomorrow!

"I made it through the rain and found myself respected by the others who got rained on too, and made it through"
 
Good vibes and positive thoughts from another one of those lucky people that just sailed through. I won't say it was a walk in the park, but it was all manageable. So just try to keep your eye on the prize. Look forward to seeing your wonderful family after the surgery and keep thinking of how wonderful it will feel to have your kids give you help and hugs. I will be thinking of you.
 
Yes, being told that you need to undergo open-heart surgery to correct your heart problem, is a very scary and eye opening proposition. And the same feeling applies whether it's your first OHS or not. Let's face it...fear is fear and we've all felt it!

But like everyone before me said, keep thinking positive thoughts and look forward to the NEW and healthier life you'll live after OHS.

Wishing you the very best this coming Thursday...you'll be in my thoughts!

Godspeed!
 
Don't worry about your valve choice, your situation is probably one that best matches a mech valve. Do it and don't look back.
We are many on here taking Coumadin and doing surprisingly well on it.
After your surgery in the hospital don't be shy to voice your feelings or gripes, their job is to keep you as comfortable as possible, and I
really kept the nurses on their toes. ;) But I was a scaredy cat.
Best wishes, sending tons of good vibes !!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Wishing you all the very best with your upcoming surgery tomorrow with positive thoughts for you.
Before you know it, you will be on the road to recovery. :).
 
You are likely tired of people telling you not to worry and that you will be fine. Well, I am one more voice in that choir. It may be hard to believe that OHS is routine but it really is just that. I am now three months past my surgery and I am totally back to normal. The Canadian medical system will be good to you. My surgery was at St. Paul's in Vancouver and I returned to the BC interior. No problem. My pain was never, ever, over a "3" and I had no ill effects, side effects, setbacks or unexpected issues. Good luck. Relax. Enjoy the time off that recovery will be giving you.
 
Hey guys ty for all the advice and support. Have everything packed and ducks in a row when the phone rings at 7:30 this evening. It was my surgeon, he had somebody in bad shape that needed the slot i was in tomorrow. I figured if somebody needs it take it and god bless. I am upset as I had pumped myself up and was as ready as could be, but I am also amazed that the actual surgeon called me instead of a receptionist, he was very apologetic and said I could pick any day and am or pm that I wanted for next week. I told him I would like tues am and he said he would have his receptionist call friday and set it up. I was tempted to go for next friday, very tempted but I figured lets get it done. This has got to be the most surreal, humbling and life altering few months I have experienced, right up there with my children's births lol. Anyways take care guys and here is hoping for tues morning.
 
Oh man, that would be quite the dissappointment in my mind. Of course, on one hand, you get to put off something that has a tendency to be a bit frightening. On the flip side, I would almost prefer to just be able to get it over with. Either way, May the Force be with you.
 
Wow, hang in there! That was super that the surgeon personally called you though, you know that person will take real good care of you on Tuesday!!!!!!

Thinking of you!

Rachel
 
OK then, so next Tuesday it is!. Everything happens for a reason and I am very impressed that the surgeon called you himself. I will continue to send positive vibes, so just relax and enjoy your kids and wife until you are over the mountain. :)
 
Tuesday is a good day. After a Tuesday surgery, you are likely to be home by Saturday or Sunday. My first thought when I was told I could go home on Saturday was "Its way too soon!" Then I looked around and realized that they were doing nothing for me other than annoying me with all the different checks that were done. Perhaps the checking, poking and proding is really intended to get people out the door but whatever the reason it was becoming a pain. Getting home was unlike anything I had imagined. I was terribly weak but I felt better than I had in a long time and it was so nice to be in my own bed with my chums around. The quiet was in some contrast with the hospital and very welcome. It is likely that you, too, will be surprised.

Larry
 
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