Thanks for the replies everyone. I moved seven hundred miles away from my family for a job! They were all here during and after the surgery, but eventually had to return home. Friends are trying to help, but I don't know what to tell them to do! At times I just want to be left alone. My daughter is out of pre-k for the summer, but she can go to "summer camp" at her school during the day. But I feel guilty taking her and leaving her. I am a mess I know : ) I will get an appointment with my gp tomorrow.
I guess I am a little afraid of the "stigma" of going in begging for help. Some of the nurses at the hospital made me feel like an absolute addict when I would ask for pain medication the day after my surgery. Did anyone else feel that way? It was like a one nurse crusade to get me off pain meds as soon as possible. I sometimes wonered if they had some sort of pool going on.
Here's a little story. My second night in ICU I saw and spoke to my daughter and wife at around 22:00, my surgery had been at 16:30 the previous day. At around midnight, the staff shift change came in and I could see through the curtains a couple of young nurses, they were talking loud and laughing, swearing too. I didn't know at the time but I was probably the only one awake and conscious of what was going on (I'm not a heavy sleeper). I asked them if they could turn down the lights and be a little quieter. One of the nurses told me that they had studies to do and needed the light on, then told me to go to sleep and she would come and see me later.
Well my heart started to pump gallons and I'm sure my pressure shot through the roof, I now felt completely useless, plugged in and at the mercy of these "nurses". I started to feel anxiety, I needed some assurance that I was under good care. I asked to see the head of staff for the ICU. Then the nurses started to do their rounds and asking their patients if everything was alright, etc.
It was obvious these nurses were not doing their routine. I completely lost it, I asked for a phone so I could phone my wife and daughter, I needed them beside me, NOW. They were staying about a ten minute walk from the hospital, I knew that. When they arrived, about 01:00, they stayed each their turn beside me for the rest of the night.
I just wanted to share this with you, you are not alone that may have went through some stress at the hospital. It's behind me now, I feel good that I reported this to their superior, some sort of relief.
I wish you only the best recovery possible.