Worst movie of all time

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It's been 15+ years since I've stepped into a movie theater -- for real, no kiddin'. If I see something, it's on the satellite or someone's rented it. Can't even remember last time I rented a film. I see teasers about films that seem like they'd be great and then hear they stink. So, why bother?

Sherrin:

Oh, I loved Attack of the Killer Tomatoes -- great tongue-in-cheek movie! It's sooooo horrible that it's funny. Rocky Horror Picture Show is along the same lines...
 
Folks,

I'm not talking about cheesy "B" movies here. Some of those are so bad they're classics in their own right - a separate genre, if you will.

I'm talking about movies that had no business being made. Film is an art; some films are better than others; some really shine as examples of the art or what it should aspire to be.

And then there are those that are the film equivalent of a velvet painting of Elvis hanging over a broken-down couch in a trailer. Know what I mean?
 
I rarely seem to see movies that I think are really bad. Perhaps because I am usually pretty careful to see movies where I think there is SOMETHING that I'll like -- an interesting subject matter even if not well developed; or particular actor or actress whose work I admire.

But here is one:

"The Avengers" with Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman. What a god-awful movie. It wasn't any good to start out with, and then they cut stuff out so the plot made no sense whatsoever. Something about Sean Connery taking over the world. Ralph and Uma, both competent actors, looked totally embarassed. A pity -- the original Avengers (the 60's television series, with Patrick McNee and Diana Rigg) was wonderful.

The only redeeming value was Sean Connery in a kilt.
 
ShezaGirlie said:
Bill -- do you mean I have to yank down my velvet Elvis painting? :D

My relatives probably would rather I posted this on the 'Best Movie' thread, but here 'tis... My cousins' daughter Karen is a young filmmaker in her own right and is featured below.. We're kinda proud..

http://www.finearts.utexas.edu/index.cfm?subsection=news_items&content=Skloss_at_Cannes
Click to expand...

Janie, I am thoroughly impressed - she's pretty, too. Is she going to grow up to be another Opie? My congratulations to her. (and her mom, who, I am sure is puffed right up - I would be, too)
 
Seven, Fifth Element, Hannibal and Me, Myself, & Irene. And for kid movies - Spirit - how long can you watch a horse being chased? It seems like I've seen more bad ones than good ones lately. Luckily, I see most movies on satellite and can walk away if I want.
 
worst movies

worst movies

Janie,
That is so cool. I love your flag too!!!
fdeg
 
Is that you, Henslyee?

Is that you, Henslyee?

Henslyee, Is that your picture? If so, you were, and are, a beautiful woman!

Bill You need to be careful about throwing "aspirations" on our velvet Elvises!!! Down here in good ole Southeast Mizzuri, KY, and Tennessee (not to mention Arkansas) :D we take our decorating tastes pretty seriously! You'll have to come for a visit, and take a dip in our "cement ponds" ;)

Seriously though, I understand what you were saying about the B movies. They become legends in their own right. What about slasher movies? Are you counting them? I wrote movie reviews for the local paper (guest reviewer) and I had to view Freddy vs Jason or vice versa; (I try not to remember). That was so stupid, it was funny.
What do you think?
Mary
 
The Jazz Singer starring Al Jolson. Now, I know it's got its place in history as it was the first movie made with sound, but it's only during the musical numbers (jazz courtesy of Mr Jolson, and a rabbi singing Jewish religious songs). The rest of the film is interspersed with captions as used in "silent" movies, and plenty of bad acting from all directions.
I had to watch it twice at university. I feel bad for saying it's a bad movie, because it played an important part in getting "talkies" off the ground, but really - you try getting through it even once!!!
 
Mary said:
Henslyee, Is that your picture?

Yep, Mary - it's me at 17 - high school graduation picture. Our class found a member who made a CD of our entire annual (yearbook for 1950) for us and I found it in there. The original was lost - think sister stole it! :D

Tks for the compliment.
Click to expand...
 
Just one worst movie ever? I can't do it, I've got three that stand out. Movies that I stubbornly watched all of, hoping they would get better, only to reach the end and think, "I just wasted two hours of my life."

1) Disney's The Fox and The Hound - a contrived and utterly predictable plot, characters voiced by a bunch of has-been actors with no emotions left in them, the most poorly arranged and orchestrated soundtrack I've ever heard, and songs that don't deserve to ever be sung again (like "Elimination - Lack of Education"). This is Disney at the very lowest of their '80s slump.

2) There's Something About Mary - the movies tag line was, "Warning: The guys who did 'Dumb & Dumber' and 'Kingpin' bring you a love story." If that alone isn't warning enough, take heed: the humor is all stupid, obvious, sexual inuendo (mind you, I like sexual inuendo, in moderation, when it's clever); the soundtrack is a distracting, whining drone from some post-modern, pseudo-grunge band; the acting reeks - Matt Dillon sinks to new performance lows and the best performance is given by Brett Favre, who plays himself. Need I go on?

3) I can't remember the title, but it's some "B" movie (yes, I know we're not supposed to criticize "B" movies, but this was so awfull it falls way below the "so bad it's funny" standard). It's about a guy who repeatedly tries to commit suicide, finally succeeds, and ends up in either heaven or purgatory where the film finishes with a musical number called "It's Always Christmas in Heaven" that features Rockette-style dancing angels in Santa suits with the breasts cut out of them (the suits, not the angels). If ANYONE has seen this movie and can remember the title, please let me know - I feel it is important to correctly identify it so I can warn future generations of film-goers...
 
I have to agree! Northfork was a total waste of film! We tried to watch "Big Fish" last nite and turned it off in the middle. Was I missing something in this movie?
 
How about "Groundhog Day"? I do have to admit that there are times in life that it really seems like Groundhog Day, but I don't want to watch a movie about it.
 
Nancy,
These lists just show the differences in everyone's tastes. I loved Groundhog Day!
I could relate completely to Bill Murray's transformation from a self-centered jerk into a decent human being . There are many people I know who would benefit from getting stuck in a time warp to change their behaviors!
Mary
 
I really like Groundhog day too. I'm not one to watch movies more than once but I have watched that one a couple of times.

Bad movies?

Artic Foxes
Face Off
Home on the Range (walked out of that a couple of weeks ago)

We walk out of movies if we arn't enjoying them. When we were watching HOme on the Range with our little grandson, he said he didn't like it and my husband told him when that happens, all you have to do is get up and leave....so we did. In the car we explained that just because you paid money doesn't mean you have to stay. I think part of the problem with Home on the Range was that the theater had the volume up too loud.
 
Yup, Mary-

Differences of opinion re: movies. I really liked "Fargo". It was different and strange. But good actors. I also liked "The Color Purple" and "In Harm's Way".

Some of the older movies that I find peculiar are the old black and whites where everybody spoke with a strange accent, sort of a cross between Philadelphia Mainline and British. You know, the ones where all the people dressed in formal clothing for supper and downed about 5 Martinis before eating. I don't mean that a British accent is strange, it's just this weird combo that happens in the older American movies.

What WAS that accent anyway??? Does anyone know what I mean?
 
Nancy,
I don't really know what you mean about the Philadelphia/British hybrid accent, but I have noticed that often when British actors play a part in an American film or TV series, they feel for some bizarre reason that they have to create a "real" British accent. Jane Leeves as Daphne in Frasier is a prime example - she has a perfectly normal English accent in real life but admits to having invented a really weird accent for Daphne. And the guy who played her cousin/brother (I forget which) - I have no idea what he was doing with his voice!!!
 
If you ever saw some of those oldie movies, I think you would be able to understand what I mean. The actors are American and the movies are from around the forties, maybe eariler. The hybrid accent is about how they sound, that plus sounding as if they all had bad adenoids. I have no idea where it came from. Nobody I ever knew talked like that, LOL. Pretty funny.
 
we could always understand every single word, tho. We just watched Pirates of the Caribbean and had to ask each other from time to time 'what did he say'. You'd think somebody would work on their diction.
 
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