Christina L
Well-known member
Hello everyone - it has been a while since I have posted a heart question on the board. I am due to have an echocardiogram (first in 2 years) in a couple of weeks and to see the cardiologist (had the last 2 years ago) after that. I am a medical transcriptionist and transcribe the most scary reports day after day. I have convinced myself that I have pulmonary hypertension and that my heart will be bigger than the last time (per the upcoming echo). I have been having some atrial flutter (I believe) for the first time since my surgery. I also have obstructive sleep apnea for which I am on a CPAP but a lot of times I wake up in the night and find that I have taken it off, although I do wear it probably 75% of the time.
I type these medical reports and then start looking on the internet reading voraciously and scaring myself silly. For those that don't know, I had a mitral valve repair in 2003 at the Cleveland Clinic by none other than Dr. Cosgrove. Right after that I was told that my valve area had some stenosis, albeit they told me it was mild.
I have been going into a depression again and obsessing about my heart. I have a 2-year-old adopted daughter from Vietnam who is my love and life. However, the depression is also because of her. I feel terrible, thinking that they are going to tell me I have PH or something like it, and we adopted her. Wayne is in his 50s and I have a faulty heart. What were we thinking? Now that we have her and love her so much, it "breaks my heart" (literally I think) to think that we will die early and leave her an "orphan" yet again.
I'm just looking for support, that's all, to get me through the next few weeks, whatever they may bring in the way of news about my heart. I know you all will understand. Thanks.
Christina L
I type these medical reports and then start looking on the internet reading voraciously and scaring myself silly. For those that don't know, I had a mitral valve repair in 2003 at the Cleveland Clinic by none other than Dr. Cosgrove. Right after that I was told that my valve area had some stenosis, albeit they told me it was mild.
I have been going into a depression again and obsessing about my heart. I have a 2-year-old adopted daughter from Vietnam who is my love and life. However, the depression is also because of her. I feel terrible, thinking that they are going to tell me I have PH or something like it, and we adopted her. Wayne is in his 50s and I have a faulty heart. What were we thinking? Now that we have her and love her so much, it "breaks my heart" (literally I think) to think that we will die early and leave her an "orphan" yet again.
I'm just looking for support, that's all, to get me through the next few weeks, whatever they may bring in the way of news about my heart. I know you all will understand. Thanks.
Christina L