Kids recovery time

[RI Mom]

I will be looking to schedule my son's surgery for sometime this summer. I was thinking to schedule it in August and am wondering how long it might take for him to be good enough to be back in school given that this is a 3rd time re-do. School starts Sept. 7 so if I schedule for Aug. 12, it will give him almost 4 weeks of recovery time. Of course, I know that if there are complications we will be looking at a whole different scenario but I am thinking positive that all will go as planned... Any advice particularly from folks who have had or are the parents of kids who have had multiple OHS during their school years would be appreciated.

 

[Ross]

Figure 6 weeks minimum. Even kids have to have time to recover.

 

[ALCapshaw2]

Why do you want to wait until August?

What do you see as beneficial to sending him back to school only 4 weeks post-op?

Sooner is Better IMO.

What's on his schedule for Next Week?

 

[Bina]

I'm also wondering......why wait until mid August?
That doesn't leave much room in case he needs an extra couple of weeks of recovery.
Also, I would not be in a hurry to send a post op child back into a germ infested school environment.

 

[Lisa in Katy]

I'd do it at the beginning of the summer. I remember watching the little kids when I was in TCH. Back then they stayed in the hospital for 2 weeks after surgery. They'd be riding the big wheels up and down the halls with their iv's attached to a pole. However, then they'd collapse and need a nap. My guess is that at 4 weeks, he'll probably be feeling pretty good, but could have endurance problems, especially on a 3rd surgery.

 

[Tbone]

You know boys will be boys. I was operated on as a kid and was off from the end of Feb to the close of school. Of course I was 14 at the time. You want to be careful that your son doesn't get into a fight, hit with a baseball/football, or any number of things. The breastbone takes time to heal before it can withstand the punishment it was designed for.

Like Ross says figure on six weeks minimum, with limited activities (gym, sports) when he returns. All parties must be informed (teachers, administrators, bus drivers) of his condition to insure safety.

 

[RI Mom]

So this is my situation....my husband is working overseas and will not be home until August. If I schedule surgery earlier, I will be going it solo. This is partly a selfish question but I know how DA** hard it is to go through OHS with a kid and I figure having 2 parents there is better than 1. At the same time I want him to have plenty of recovery time. That adds a little twist to the decision.

I've asked my husband at least 15 times if he can come earlier and his answer is that he is not able.

 

[escargome]

Well given your situation, how about you schedule the surgery for August like you hoped, then keep him home a while longer. Will the school system provide an at home tutor if you give them notice? I know keeping him tied down will be a chore, but I believe that 4 weeks might be a little too soon to send him back into the lions den of germy rough housing kids. Just my opinion.

 

[Lisa in Katy]

Well, I'd do what's best for Idrees, and if that means you go it alone, so be it. There are plenty of single parents out there who handle everything, although I'll admit that I often wonder how they do it. Like everything else, you do what you have to do.

 

[Bina]

When I lived on a bigger farm and my daughter was a baby, her father had to go away for 2 weeks; I knew that the farm and baby would be too much to handle alone, so I hired a "Mother's Helper". She was the younger sister of a friend of mine and she lived with me for 2 weeks. It was perfect!

 

[Lynlw]

I agree with everyone else, I wouldn't wait until August, unless there is some reason you absolutely can't do it any sooner. I would try at the min the middle of July. Because you can't really count on anything, including having his surgery postponed, so 4 weeks doesn't give you much time especially since kids seem to get postponed ALOT for emergencies, babies born with chd needing emergency surgery, bump everyone, or if it is a center that does transplants a heart being available right before your sons schedualled surgery ect. Justin's last 2 surgeris were cancleled 2 and 3 times (and his 3rd surgery HE bumped a couple kids). As for regular everything goes perfect surgery, Justin had surgery the first week of Dec when he was 10 (I never would have picked that date but it was an ER the day after a cath) he was home in 7 days and went back to school in Jan after the holidays, he did fine, BUt had a really good surgery/recovery. He was a little tired the first couple weeks back, he probably would have been better with another week or so home, but wanted to start with the new semester and they knew he might come home early or stay home if he was too tired. I can't remeber exactly when he felt really good , but know h e started basbeall practice in March with more energy than the year before.
He had surgery schedualled for the first week of March in 11th grade, but went to school until the last min, ended up getting sick so surgery was postponed then the surgeon postponed it 2 more times, Since he got sick right before the 1st date they told him to stay out of school until after surgery,, he ended up not having the surgery until May 3rd, so ended up having the whole semester homebound and didn't go back unitl the next fall.
2 years after that he needed surgery again, we schedualed it for June 5th because that was the first date we could get after school was done. It was postponed at the last min and postponed 2 more times (babies born that needed er surgeries) he ended up having surgery on the 19th and was home on the 22nd of June, which would have been great going back to school-wise, but then 10 day later he was readmitted for an infection, had another surgery and was in the hospital until July 7th. He went to Cooperstown for Cal Ripkens Hall of Fame ceremony about 3 weeks later, but was pretty wiped out and spent lalot of the time being pushed around in a wheel chair.

AS for which surgery they are recovinging from, I know alot of people say each one is worse but honestly that wasn't the case for Justin, his first surgery he was in the hospital a total of 5 weeks (but that included not having surgery until he was 10 days old , then having pyloric stenosis surgery (stomache) a week later. AND that was 20 years ago, when everyone was in much longer still they were still in the beginning of alot of the complex CHD surgeries. his 2nd the Rastelli, he was in and out of the hospital for the next 6 months with all kinds of issues, pericardial fluid, RVS ...
His 3rd and 4th were great he was in the hospital a week or less and by 6 weeks was better than ever. The 5th surgery he was doing really good too, until he hit that major bump with the infection.

PS I wanted to add, I was just thinking, IF he goes back to school a little less than 4 weeks, he will most likely have all kind of retrictions won't be allowed to go out for recess, lunch,gymn ect but at 6 -8weeks, he would be more likely to be allowed to do more of what his 'normal" is as far as does he have any restrictions ect (Justin's didn't really have any) I don't know how your son is but Justin always pushed the limits and I would have been nervous about sending him to school when he still had alot of restriction, heck after caths when most kids were told to "take it easy" Justin ped card had to tell him he couldn't do much of anything beside video games, because Justin's idea of taking it easy were no where near what the docs meant, so to avoid any thing stupid, they just told him he couldn't do anything for a couple days.
Plus IF I sent Justin to school the beginning of the school year when you just get to see all your friends after a couple months he would have been miserable if he couldn't go out at recess ect.

 

[Lynlw]

I was typing my huge post when you wrote the 2nd part, so missed it. Is there anyway possible for your husband to come home for a week earlier, at least while his son is in the hospital then go back until he is done in Aug? Or is there any family/ close friend that could be with you during the hospital time if you have it before August?

 

[ALCapshaw2]

The 'Rule of Thumb' I'm familiar with for Sternum Healing is at 6 weeks it will be back to 85% of normal strength and it takes 12 weeks to reach 100% (for Adults).

During those first 6 weeks MOST of the patient's energy goes into healing which accouts for the widely reported lack of stamina in the early recovery period.

Ask the Surgeon about Healing and Recovery time for children.

 

[kfay]

I had my first OHS when I was a senior in high school at 17. It was done over Christmas break, December 23rd to be exact. I flew home on December 31st. I pretty much went back to school when it started around Jan. 4th or 5th. Somedays I would be too tired and wouldn't go, somedays I would leave early. It was probably the first of Feb. before I was back into it full swing. I know that most of you didn't have surgery as children and it is hard to compare, but kids really do bounce back quicker. With this last surgery, as an adult, it took me much longer to feel "normal" again. I realize that his sternum still needs to heal, but it is almost impossible to keep a little guy like that still once they start feeling better.

As for the timing, as long as more damage isn't being done to his heart, and his Dr's are ok with it, I would wait for your husband to get home. My mom was the only one there with me (my father died when I was 13) and I know it was very stressful on her. It would have been nice if she had had someone with her. As his parent, you need just as much support through this as he does and I'm sure his father would prefer to be there for his son as well.

Kim

 

[Curtsmum]

My son went back to school after 6 weeks the hospital said he could. I wasn't very happy about it, i thought it was too soon for him to go back but he was back to normal when he came home from hospital, so i decided to let him. If it means your son will miss a couple of weeks of school, I wouldn't really worry about it, his health is more important. Wish you the very best, i know how your feeling. Hugs to all the family.

 

[mattwisconsin]

Do what you need to do, but the more time he has the better. I had my second surgery when I was 13. I think it was done at the end of June. I started back to school at the normal time but did not participate in gym until January.

One of the other more memorable moments was when a kid thought it would be funny to knock me over at about 8 weeks. So one bent over behind me and one pushed me in the chest to knock me over and it hurt a lot. When I told the kid who pushed me about the surgery, he was really sorry. We actually became good friends the next year. So the boys will be boys comment should be considered, since we display our friendships in violence.

 

[swim mom]

I don't have any experience with children and surgery. I do however have experience with a spouse gone for long periods of time. My husband just retired from the Navy after 20 years. He was at sea most of his career and deployed 6 times including 4 times in the first 4 years of my youngest daughters life. I realize single parents frequently have to do things on their own, I admire them! I have two different but I think equally valid points of view I will share. My first thought was even if her spouse is gone 6, 12, 18 months she still relies on her spouse to some degree for support. When someone is a single parent by choice or not she/ he develops a different support system. I am not saying she doesn't have a "new" or "different" support group when her husband is gone than when he is home, but when push comes to shove I still wanted my husband's support. That is much easier now than it was 18-20 years ago when phone calls were prohibitively expensive and cell phones, e-mail etc didn't exist. Based on this I would wait for my husband to come home. Now for my other thought. I will preface this by saying it would really upset my husband to not be able to be here for me and/ or our child in this situation. I have found that when things happen when my husband is gone my support group of people sometimes step up to help much more than when he is home. When he is home people assume he and the kids can do everything. Beyond that if you do have enough people to help you your son would be able to better enjoy his dad if he felt better. But it would also depend on whether your son is a "daddy's boy" or not. I have a "daddy's girl" who at that age would want nothing to do with the surgery until dad was home if she had a choice. I realize I was long winded and didn't answer any questions but just shared some thoughts. My husbands deployments ranged from 4-9 months. I am very independent. I can and will go anywhere and do anything I want or need to do with my kids much to the dismay of many civilian friends! However there are still times when I / we want the support of my husband. Unfortunately, this part of the situation is as hard to understand without having been there as the feelings she is having about her child having surgery. I am not trying to say I know everything I am just throwing out some thoughts based on my own experiences. Most importantly take care of yourself during this time because you can't be there for your family if you aren't taking care of yourself ( I didn't do well with this part!?!? ) Good Luck

 

[briansmom]

I am so sorry that you have to make this choice. I was a single parent for 5 years so I think that I am pretty independent and strong; but I thank GOD that I was married and that my husband was there for me when my son had his surgeries. This is an incredibly emotional and trying experience for a parent and to voluntarily go it alone would be a really tough road. I like Lyn's idea of your husband coming home for a week; that is a good compromise if he is able. Otherwise, I would wait for my husband and possibly have to keep your son home longer or on limited day for the first few weeks of school. I am often reminded by my family and by Brian's doctors that I also need to take care of myself in order to be there for my son.

All of that being said, you will be amazed at how quick kids bounce back. Brian was literally on death's door for his first/second surgery and his 3rd surgery was VERY experimental so he is not a good comparison case, but his doctors - who were not pediatric surgeons - were still amazed at his progress.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Remember, whatever decision you make, it will be the RIGHT one for you and your family.

 

[RI Mom]

Thanks everyone for weighing in on this issue. You guys are right.....he needs more than just 4 weeks to recover. It would not be fair for me to expect that he start 1st grade just 3-4 weeks after OHS. I will appeal to my husband to see if he can make it over in July. IF he is unable, I will ask my best friend to come over and help out. My parents will come over and take care of my teenager and keep things going at home. As I thought about what my husband generally does for us while in the hospital it occured to me that someone else could also do that (get coffee and food, entertain my son, sit with him while I go take a walk outside, etc...) I have always been the one to deal with the medical issues but I guess I just want the 2 people who love this little boy the most to be there when he is at his scariest place. If my husband can't be there we'll set up some video conferencing so at least he can talk to my son while he is recovering. I meet with the cardiologist on Weds. and we'll look at the schedule then and hopefully find a date mid-July that will work.

 

[escargome]

Theresa,
Good choice. Being the wife of an ex-military member I was alone a lot when the kids were young. But your idea of video conference is just terrific. The wonders of modern technology. I'm sending prayers and hugs. Good Luck and keep us posted.