How Did You React When (S)He Told You?

[Jkm7]

Another thread in this section got me thinking.
I wonder........

How did you react when your cardio or surgeon first said to you it was time for surgery?

I looked at my cardio (who had seen me through heart attack and my first surgery) and when he told me four years later, I needed a second OHS, my initial response was simply to tell him, "I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to go through that again....again, so soon."

He was wonderful and just as simply said to me, "I will get you through this", and he did. I am immensely grateful to him for all the good care he gives me.

Surprisingly, I didn't cry.......then. I think I was just in shock as I did not expect to hear my valve had worsened. I thought it was stable.

How did you react if you don't mind sharing?

 

[tobagotwo]

I had been in the waiting room for a few years. I knew it was close to time Rather than shock and sadness, I thought, "Thank God. Now I can be done with this."

Of course, I'm not. But those were my thoughts back then.

Best wishes,

 

[deano89]

i just answered but i dont want surgery ! i was totally shocked and couldnt think straight when i got home i just fell to pieces !

 

[deogloria]

JKM7,

Why did you need a second surgery so soon? If you don't mind me asking. Was your valve failing unexpectedly? I think I'm going to post that question separately to others, because I've been curious to find out what are my chances of getting a tissue valve, then turning around and needing another one way sooner than expected.

 

[hall]

I was scared out of my wits! I told my PCP when I need the AVR, I would like to go to Cleveland Clinic and he agreed. I ended up in ER in Akron and they decided it was "time". I was horrified. I was stuck in a hospital that I was not planning on being at. I could have gone to Cleveland from Akron but did not. I got the best care and my surgeon was over cautious. I did not know what I know now. (thanks to this site). Worked out fine, but yep, I was scared out of my wits.

 

[Eva]

Jkm, I almost started this thread myself after having read Bookjp's thread about surgeons which brought some memories...so, I felt the need to vent, but decided to post it under his thread, but it is more appropriate here. Here is my reaction:

I went to see my cardio to get the results of the routine echo I had. So, I went alone feeling proud and happy that I lost weight, dropped my cholesterol, returned to some exercise, etc...My cardio started to ask me questions why I was not exercising as I used to and so on. When I mentioned that I was waiting for the days to be longer as I hate winter short days, he dropped the news that my lack of energy was due to my valves deterioration and heart's muscle enlargement and that I needed surgery...the news fell like a bomb shell on me...I was in total shock even though I was expecting to hear such news for many years (but still hoping in my heart that I would live the rest of my life without the surgery). I was silent, and he too! he did not give me any advice or even assure me this is a routine procedure these days, etc, or refer me to any website! He asked me to return in six months and he will refer me to surgeons then!! ...I asked him what will happen if I do not have the surgery, his asnwer was simple: you shall disappear. Then, he left me in that small room to go to another patient. This is a harvard top notch graduate with many years of experience!! I pulled myself together and left the office...I burst into tears when I reached my car and cried and sobbed while driving home confused whether to tell my sister (who lives with us) and my hubby or hide the news from them until I checked with someone else!
The drive was about one hour...I stopped at a mall...walked inside aimlessly with my sun glasses on my face...not feeling or sensing anything around me...just passing time until I pulled myself again.
Since that incident, my hubby accompanies me all the time.

 

[Ross]

When I was told that my aortic valve needed replaced after 7 years with my only half repaired valve, initially, I was devastated. The memories of the first surgery were still fresh in my mind. I delayed and stalled as long as I could until I could come to grips with the fact that I didn't have any control over this and that it was up to God to bring me through it. I got so stressed that I couldn't decide on anything. All I knew for sure was that I was going to be facing hell again, really didn't think I'd make it, nearly didn't and pray I never have to do it again.

I really fell apart when they informed me I have another aneurysm forming in my abdomin. There is no way I will survive another major surgery of this magnitude, so unless it can be stented by Catheter, .....................

 

[kfay]

Well, when my local cardio told me that he thought it was time I started thinking about having another surgery, I just kind of looked at him and thought "he doesn't know what in the hell he is talking about". I think I may have even chuckled. After my first surgery, I was never told it was even a possibility that I would need another .

It took me about a month to get all of my tests up to my surgeon at the Mayo clinic. He finally called me and said "Mrs. Fay, I'm just going to be blunt with you. If you don't have surgery now, you are going to need a heart transplant." I don't really remember much else from that conversation. I literally felt like the wind was knocked out of me. I hung up and just sat down and stared out of the window. I was shocked!

Kim

 

[olefin]

How did you react when your cardio or surgeon first said to you it was time for surgery?

No reaction, for it was no surprise to me. I had blacked out the day before while speed walking. I had know for ten years that someday the valve would have to be replaced.

It did surprise me the day that I blacked out for he had run an echo three months before. The day before I blacked out I had really been stressing myself and suddenly I began to feel weak and unstable. I slowed and the feeling got ok. I first though of the valve. So being foolish, the next day I purposely stressed myself again to see if the same thing would happen. It did but before I could slow down I blacked out and crashed to the ground. I was lucky, I could have suffered a heart attack from my experiment.

 

[deogloria]

Ross--eeek, I didn't realize you had TWO aneurysms. Yuck. At least this one's in your abdomen...has your doc given you any idea if it can be done via stent? Sure wish mine could. Not crazy about the whole cracking me open thing.

Olefin--my first reaction to reading what you said was to laugh. Not because what happened was funny at all, but because it's just so the opposite of what I did. I had a few little chest pains and coughing fits, and headed to the nearest hospital, lol. As soon as I found out I had an aneurysm for sure, I never did another thing again! My doc said mild exercise would be okay, but as my pregnancy progressed, any little thing I did made me cough or have SOB or chest pain, or all three. So I spent the last nine months sitting on my derriere! (I have a wonderful husband who took care of me and the kids, and still does.)

But you went out to see if you could make yourself feel weak and unstable AGAIN while RUNNING? ;-) I'm glad you came through your "experiment" alright! Kind of scary that the blackout came on so fast that you couldn't even slow down first. Yikes.

 

[sue943]

I had been admitted to hospital with a stroke, later discovered to be vegetation broken off from my endocarditis and hitting my brain. Then a few days after the stroke (which happened the day before my mother died) I was told it was endocarditis. Then a few days later I was told that I now had a heart murmur, then a few days later that it was at a stage where I needed to be in a hospital where they could operate if needs be. Airlifted to England and was assessed at about 10pm on a Saturday evening by a cardiac surgeon who said they would probably operate in a couple of days.

Then the next day I was told that they would prefer me to be free of infection before they operated so they would wait and watch. Then when the infection was gone they flew me home without having operated. I was in a pretty poor way and as my daughter was getting married a few months later I either wanted to have the surgery soon or wait until after the wedding.

I was sent to the England for an angiogram and was told that I needed surgery within the next couple of weeks. I was quite annoyed that they didn't just keep me in hospital and do it, not for me to return home then have to fly back again within a couple of weeks. I just wanted to get it over and done with and to continue with my life.

So really it was all so rapid and the progression from 'not being ill' as in not realising that I had endocarditis, to being 'seriously ill' to being in heart failure, I just went with the flow. I got my affairs in order then took myself off to England alone, meeting with my daughter at the hospital. Once I got my affairs in order I was quite content, the idea of possible death not worrying me at all as I have previously said. To be honest I don't think I worried about it at all, none of it.

Two weeks after the surgery I was rushed into hospital with complete heart block the day before my daughter's wedding. I told my future son-in-law that the wedding and honeymoon has to go ahead regardless of what happened to me - I did think that I would die. My poor daughter said "please don't cark it on my wedding day!" Perhaps that is why I didn't die, I didn't want to completely ruin her wedding day, it was bad enough that she didn't have any close family at her wedding, me dying would have been dreadful for them.

I did discover fairly recently that the part of my brain affected by my stroke can cause the sufferer to not realise the seriousness of their situation, perhaps that is what happened with me. Again though, if I had to do it again next week I still don't think I would care much, worrying about it wouldn't make it any better so I wouldn't bother worrying.

 

[dick0236]

I had known since I was a teenager that I had a problem, but back then, OHS was a "last resort" decision and the doctors always told me the "risk was far greater than any reward". I actually was taking my college mid-terms, and thought I was having stress pains. Went to student health services and a staff cardiologist did a few tests and told me I had a "one in four" chance of dropping dead with no warning. Wow, that got my attention, but unfortunately, I had a wife, two kids and no real job. He and I agreed that I would have surgery as soon as I graduated, about 6-7 months later. I don't think I really thought too much about it and I don't remember that I was very afraid. But I did make out my will beforehand. I guess that, when you are that young, you kinda think you are "bullet proof"....and the surgery was still very new and not widely discussed, so, ignorance was bliss.

 

[Karlynn]

I cried. I was so happy to finally be getting a solution to 5 years of hell.

 

[MarkU]

I had known for 32 years that the day was coming, so it was as much of a relief as anything.
I had started exhibiting symptoms about eight months before and was feeling pretty bad - it was definitely affecting my quality of life. I was actually glad to be doing something protactive. The thing that really hammered things home was when my cardiologist told me if I didn't have the surgery I only had about three years left.
Mark

 

[Adrienne]

It was when my husband took me to the ER (not the hospital where I had my surgery) when I had endocarditis and the ER doctor listened to my heart and asked me "So when are you having your surgery". Since he was a bit of a jokster, I looked at him and said "Ha, ha, you're kidding". He wasn't. Then when I was hospitalized for the endocarditis and treated by the microbiologist, he said I needed a valve operation in the next several months and said that the cardiologist that examined me thought so as well. I was totally shocked and said that I was going to speak to my cardiologist who has never mentioned that I needed surgery. After that, I was going back and forth getting opinions until I realized I really did need this done.

 

[debster913]

Good thread!

I was relieved. I'd known since I was about 16 that I'd need surgery, so when my cardio told me it was time, I was glad. I'd been (noticeably to myself) symptomatic for a week, and I'd left work in an ambulance, so when Dr. V took that first quick look at my echo and said, "Your valve has gotten worse," and told me he wanted to send me to Dr. Starnes for surgery, I was thinking, "Bring it on. I'm ready."

 

[ccummins]

Wow, mine is so fresh that I am crying right now reading this and remembering. Found out last Monday. I have had a bicuspid valve since birth that has never caused me any issues. I got echos every 2 years and that was that. About 2 years ago they discovered that my aorta was enlarged. They said I needed to have it monitored more regularly because if it increased I would need surgery. Well I am so used to going to the cardio and just having him say "your doing great just check in again in 6 months". I should have known when the fellow came in and explained that things had increased a bit. Then another 30 minutes before they both came in. They just laid it out and I started bawlling. They walked me right over tot he nurse who makes appointments with the surgeon. They did not explain at all what the surgery what entail which makes me so mad right now. They sort of made it seem like "hey, we just go in and replace the aorta and you'll be good to go". No idea of the huge deal OHS is or that they are probably going to replace my valve while they are in there, Or mechanica versus tissue ... or heart lunch machine. If it weren't for this sight I would be going into the surgeon absolutely clueless. I have to say that he did say to call with any further questions whcih I have not done. My cardio only spends a few hours a week on office visits so I almost feel like I am in the way. I have hardly stopped crying since. I called all my good friends and family that day so that I wouldn't have to rehash it many times.

 

[ccummins]

Sorry for my bad spelling ...

 

[Jkm7]

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences. What a brave crowd we are.
Only those who have been where we have been can understand.

 

[Freddie]

After 6 hours in emergency and being told I needed surgery my S/O left.
In total shock, my S/O left me alone and I cried - one nurse (bless her) gave me her shoulder to cry on. 12 hours before I had no symptoms of any kind. That's why my signature is "shocked and dumbfounded". After being discharge from emergency, I had surgery within the next 7 days with only 24 hours notice.