High school classmate refuses to undergo valve replacement . . . dies as a result

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Mary I am truly sorry to hear about your friend. I am sure it was a shock! I think perhaps more Dr's should put it to their patients in terms of a "terminal illness". That's really exactly what it is, if you refuse this life giving surgery!
 
I admit that I toyed with idea of NOT having surgery; don't we all? But then the reality sets in and there really isn't a choice. This is a very sad story. When deciding to have this done, it's almost overwhelming isn't it? And then afterwards it still seems overwhelming. I still try to focus on all of those who didn't have such an easy solution to a major problem and how lucky I am that this surgery fixed the problem.

Having this forum really helps.
 
Some yrs ago we had a member who was afraid and also refused to have the surgery. He was adamant about it even tho the membership tried to reassure him. He did not have the surgery; he died.

My cousin's wife had valve replacement about 3 weeks ago. She is 80 something! She is just fine. She wants to be around to take care of her husband.

Mary, I am sorry about your dear friend. Sometimes they just can't do it.
 
I think we all roll the idea of not having the surgery around in our minds. How could we not?

I greatly respect my cardio and knew when he told me it was time for valve surgery that it truly was. He knows me well and sensed the things I wasn't saying during that conversation rather than what I was saying.

The last thing he said during that appointment was 'there is a point of no return'. I understood the message and replacement took place four weeks later.

I am so very sorry to hear this young woman passed when she probably could have been saved to live many more years.

But how do any of us think we can know what she was thinking.... what were her reasons that apparently made sense to her?
May she rest in peace.
 
hensylee said:
Some yrs ago we had a member who was afraid and also refused to have the surgery. He was adamant about it even tho the membership tried to reassure him. He did not have the surgery; he died.
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Oh my ... I remember that, Ann!


Jkm7 said:
I think we all roll the idea of not having the surgery around in our minds.
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Not me. Then again, heart issues and surgeries are the "norm" for me ... never known a time without 'em. Maybe that makes a difference?

*shrugs*



Cort | 37.m.IL.pigValve.pacemaker | 5 Monte Carlos + 1 Caprice Classic |* Chicagoland Meets, 2011?
MCs.CC + CHD.models.HO.legos.RadioShows + RoadTrips.us66 = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort
"There was a time I was a true believer" ... Jennifer Warnes ... 'I Know A Heartache When I See One'
 
something like this always reminds us of the value of ValveReplacement.org. So many times we make a difference; unfortunately there might be another outcome and that just breaks our hearts. so sad for somebody's family.
 
I admire Cort's courage in going through this all his life. But I have to say honestly that if, at my age, I had to face this again, I have to admit that the do-nothing option would at least flash through my mind. Counteracting that, I suppose, is the thought that a dissection is not a pleasant way to go, from what I gather.
 
My situation is similar to Cort's in someways although I managed to make it to age 43 before having surgery. I was born with congenital heart disease and knew from the time I was able to understand it that I would need surgery one day...it was not a matter of if but when. When I was told it was time my surgeon gave me 2 options. Do the surgery now or treat my condition with ace inhibitors for 6 months to see if that would buy me some time. But he also said that he felt that doing surgery now would lessen the chance of any more damage to my heart. I was already having symptoms that were affecting my life negatively so I did not hesitate to opt for the surgery. Yes I was scared to death, but my fear of actual death from not having the surgery far outweighed my fear of having the surgery. I am sure many people opt to not have surgery because they don't think their condition is as bad as it really is, but I think some just can't get past the overwhelming fear of the surgery itself. That is where cardiologists and surgeons need to recommend psychological counseling and offer medications that help alleviate the panic/fear the patient is experiencing. The patient still may refuse that as well but it should still be offered in addition to explaining the consequences of refusing surgery.
 
Superbob said:
I admire Cort's courage in going through this all his life.
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Wow ... no idea what to say, Bob, except, Thank you.

Though ... I'm not sure I'd label it as courage ... lol. More like ... gotta fight if I want to live ... not really much of a choice. Well, I suppose it is ... just a rather easier choice to make, especially now with my 2-year-old nephew around ;).



Cort | 37.m.IL.pigValve.pacemaker | 5 Monte Carlos + 1 Caprice Classic |* 06/2011.RT=us66+NW USA*
MCs.CC + CHD.models.HO.legos.RadioShows + RoadTrips.us66 = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort
"Will I be merry or will I be blue?" ... Deborah Allen ... 'Rockin' Little Christmas'
 
It might have been the fact that she could have died on the table as well. My grandmother just died from Aortic Valve Replacement. We won't get into the reasons, but I did very well on my Mitral Valve replacement. Hopefully when I have to have two valves replaced, I will do well also. I have faith in my doctors and surgeons, however, and wouldn't have anyone else do it!
 
Bryan B said:
That is where cardiologists and surgeons need to recommend psychological counseling and offer medications that help alleviate the panic/fear the patient is experiencing. The patient still may refuse that as well but it should still be offered in addition to explaining the consequences of refusing surgery.
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I totally agree with you here. I think this forum was my "valium." Hearing so many stories of survival and people that thrive on the other side of surgery helps.

I've been procrastinating 10 months to do some bucket list things. (Don't worry-I'm scheduled for Jan 13). It's very hard to put your hands around subjecting yourself to OHS when you have days that you feel totally normal. I also think when you are in the waiting room for years, you eventually get a little complacent when so much time goes by with no problems other than a little shortness of breath when exercising. So many of the symptoms can be blamed on other possible causes, it is easy to deny reality.
 
I agree.....There should be a counselor involved both before and after a surgery like that. It is hard to fend off depression, so many people ask "why me?"
 
I learned last night a piece of information that I didn't previously know.
Apparently Diana had undergone heart surgery as a child. She was a year older than me, so I'm calculating that if she had surgery at the age of 10 (and I'm just guessing) that would have been in 1961. I think we're all aware that heart surgery, at least open heart surgery, was still in its infancy in the early 60's.
Perhaps she knew more about the condition, that ultimately killed her, than I had given her credit for.
 
Duffey said:
I learned last night a piece of information that I didn't previously know.
Apparently Diana had undergone heart surgery as a child. She was a year older than me, so I'm calculating that if she had surgery at the age of 10 (and I'm just guessing) that would have been in 1961. I think we're all aware that heart surgery, at least open heart surgery, was still in its infancy in the early 60's.
Perhaps she knew more about the condition, that ultimately killed her, than I had given her credit for.
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I'm thinking that you are probably right. Perhaps she knew more about her condition that she ever let on for others to know. No one really knows how heavy a load someone's carrying.....only they know. Still very sad though....

P.S. I speak from the heart on this one!
 
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Duffey said:
I learned last night a piece of information that I didn't previously know.
Apparently Diana had undergone heart surgery as a child. She was a year older than me, so I'm calculating that if she had surgery at the age of 10 (and I'm just guessing) that would have been in 1961. I think we're all aware that heart surgery, at least open heart surgery, was still in its infancy in the early 60's.
Perhaps she knew more about the condition, that ultimately killed her, than I had given her credit for.
Click to expand...

I agree that we don't ever know if we don't walk in their shoes......
 
I have known for years that I would probably need OHS, I am days away from having it done. I know to well the risks, my mother died from OHS when she was my age back in 1976, I was 14 at the time.
This is very scary stuff and it is very difficult to prepare for. I am letting my doctors do the worrying for me, I will just show up.

I have a brother that has survived a triple bypass and another that ignored the symtoms until it was to late, he passed at the age of 45.

Mary, sorry to hear about your friend. WE do not know how strong we truly are until being strong is all that is left. May she RIP.
 
Ross I have not seen you post for a while hope you are OK. It was when Ross related his experience that revoved all doubt from my mind about waiting or not doing it. Thanks Ross and so many others on this site.
 
You all know what the most unfortunate thing is about this valuable thread? Those that get the diagnosis and are without direction, are of the personality type that does not research important issues, even if life threatening. As such they will never stumble upon this precious dialog. Every cardiologist should make this site available to those whom they have diagnosed with a life sentence.
 
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