Bless your hearts. I can understand where you're coming from. I'm the wife and it was me that had to deal with getting the horribly frightening news of a bicupsid valve, at first moderate stenosis, which went to severe stenosis within two years. I had my AVR root replacement (porcine tissue) June 25 of this year, 10 weeks ago. I also had to have a single bypass as well that I was pretty surprised about. I am 47 years old. I can tell you that this totally changed my life in every way and I too have been married to my soulmate for 18 years this July, 2010 and I was scared to really open up and talk it all out with my husband. I was overwhelmingly sad and felt like a death note was there for me. I was overtaken by fear and anxiety and everything else you can think of. Thankfully I found this wonderful site and I got to read for myself the stories from those that have gone through the same thing as I was facing. I was totally petrified, to put it mildly. Just want you to know, that if I can make it through it, anyone can. The surgery was not the easiest thing ever, but honestly it was not as bad as I expected. The first 24 hours was my worst I guess I would say,but during that time, you're so in and out of it. They really do manage the pain very well. Don't be surprised by the "blues" that will probably come afterward. I thought I had escaped that, but probably around 2 weeks post op, they hit me and it's very common. But, the good news is, it will get better, and I do mean better not on a daily basis usually, but definitely better on a weekly basis. I've done very well and I've had no setbacks as of yet, thankfully. I'm very thankful to have it behind me now and the waiting and before time is defintely the worst!!! The fear of the unknown. Your husband will do just fine sweetie, I'm sure of that. You'll be surprised to hear how many people are getting valve replacements nowdays, young people at that. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers, along with your husband. Take care.