Why do you Think there is So Much Emotion?

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i know for me, being uneducated about any of it, at the time of diagnosis and being told i need heart surgery i asked, you mean, where they cut you open and break your bones to get to your heart then stop it?

to me, in my head, that was the WORST surgery anyone could ever have. and even now i only consider brain surgery to be worse. i think i would be more scared with a brain surgery then i was with the heart surgery.

i had my gallbladder removed 5 months before my heart surgery and was not scared about that surgery at all. i didn't think twice. it may be the fact that i was on a Demerol drip for 24 hours before that surgery!!

and two years prior to that, i had a D&C due to a miscarriage where they put you under. i was deathly scared at that time of that. i thought i would die!
 
For me, the emotions come with knowing that without your heart, there's no living any more. Wrapping my head around the fact that they had to lower my body temperature to 18 degrees (or whatever ungodly temp it was) and stop my heart so they could manipulate it and add "hardware" to my body. After the surgery, it was frustrating how long it took to actually feel "okay" again. Even now (17 weeks later) I struggle with knowing I'll never be the old me. I'll always have that ticking in my ear and sometimes the loud banging of my heart. I will always have to be conscious of my INR levels and oops, did I eat too many greens this week or have too many glasses of wine? It's an adjustment to life. It's a change that you don't necessarily ask for but one that you're stuck with.

I've had one other "major" surgery, a hysterectomy, and I experienced absolutely no roller coaster of emotions like I did with this.
 
I was never worried about not coming home; however, I was on emotional roller coaster before and after the surgery. It was worse during recovery. I must say I'm worried about the next one. I'm 7 years post-op with a homograft and in the "moderate" range, or at least I was at my check-up last Nov. I'm already worried about the next one because I'm only 38 and I don't want to keep doing this over and over. I'm pretty sure I'll be going mechanical the next time around. Although I know there are no guarantees no matter what valve type one chooses.
 
@Lisa, I'm sorry to hear you're needing another surgery. I'm 36 and just had my procedure four months ago. I went with mechanical valve after discussing with my surgeon and the chances of needing more surgeries (plural) if I went with a tissue valve because of my age. Also, my dad's had a mechanical valve since 1983 (28 years!) and has had absolutely no issues with it. They were even in there a couple years ago fixing another aneurysm on him (related to the disorder we have) and took a look at his mechanical valve and said it's working beautifully! It's a lifestyle change for sure with having to be on warfarin but I don't regret the decision even though getting my INR regulated has been a challenge. Do your research and make the decision best for you. Good luck!
 
@Lisa, I'm sorry to hear you're needing another surgery.

Thanks, Heather. I apologize, I should have been a little more clear. I will need another surgery but I'm still in the waiting room on that one. I knew that day would be coming when I opted for the homograft. I, too, have some family members with AS. I lost my little brother in 1991 due to an unknown aneurysm during his 4th OHS. He had a St. Jude mechanical valve. His first OHS was at age 3 and he passed away at age 14. I have an uncle that has a St. Jude mechanical valve and it's still ticking away just fine :). My mother also has a BAV, although she hasn't needed OHS. I think my family must be the exception and not the rule when it comes to BAV. I was a newlywed when I had to make the valve choice and I wasn't ready to be on warfarin.
 
Having been through two OHS, I agree it's emotional. I can't put it into words, but Robin Williams response always made me laugh. [video]http://youtu.be/VdKl_SmYUyg[/video]

This is more introspective...it helped me lot following the complications of my second OHS. http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/2009/nov/22/robin-williams-comeback-broadway-comedy

It seems the realisation of just how close to death Williams had unknowingly been, more than the impact of major surgery itself, has jolted the performer into a new appraisal of his life and values. "I think, literally, because you have cracked the chest, you are vulnerable, totally, for the first time since birth," he has said.
 

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