Stress, Heart, and the workforce

[della_anne]

I am free from stress...yay! Until I get a new job. I have found that many jobs out there for young, unexperienced people are often stressful and demanding. My last job was like that, many demands, tight deadlines, lots of change, they worked me to death.

I just recently went to see my cardiologist, the first thing she asked me was 'are you having any problems?' and of course I answered saying 'no, not heart related' Then she asked 'Any other problems?' I started to then explain that I am having problems dealing with stress.So my cardiologist persisted to ask about my stress problem, I told her that I have lost a lot of weight, she didn't think it was a good idea for me to be working where I was working at the time and I just explained to her that I know my job is stressful but that I am also looking for a new job.

Well,recently I ended up leaving that job and now on the look for better and hopefully less stressful job. I recently saw my physician, to get some anti anxiety meds in the hope that they might help ease the discomfort of on job stress so that I can function and meet the demands and expectations of whatever employer I have next. In going, I also found out that my blood pressure was elevated.

I really think this sucks, but what can I do, I have to continue on with a job and life and hope that things can only get better from here on.
I don't think most of the stress comes from the actual job itself, but just worrying about all the other things in my life,how I fit in with the rest of my coworkers, and living at home with my parents. Once I move out of my parents house, I think things will greatly improve for me, but until then, I guess I just have to hang in there until I save enough money to move out.

This is like a never ending cycle, I start jobs and leave them. Why can't I just stay at one place for a long period of time? I don't want to have to keep starting over again, I need to start building upon my life especially if I want to move out of my parents house. Too much to balance out in my life, work, friends, fun, maybe school if i decide to go back. How do you do it all?

Well hopefully the meds will help and I will be more level headed, worry less and function better in the workplace. I just need to check with my cardiologist to make sure that the anti anxiety neds (Lexapro) will not interfere with Coumadin, and if it does, then find out if she wants to test my Coumadin more often.

I hope that this will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Ross]

della anne I wish there were an easy answer. In todays economy, employers seem to really not care about an employees well being at all. Everything around us here in Ohio is the same. Long hours, poor pay, no benefits, very demanding, almost, if not impossible goals and deadlines, high turnover rates and just generally, very unhappy laborers. It seems to be a trend in the U.S. currently. No one has any job security anymore. Planning for retirement is like planning the exact meal you'll have a year from now and eating it on that day.
Don't concern yourself with friends and coworkers when it comes to the job. Take care of you and be proud of whatever it is that you do. Life on your own is no picnic and adjusting to it is stressful, but it's part of growing up. You'll make it. You may suffer bumps in the road, but learn from each one and try not to make the same mistakes twice.

The only thing I can offer is to find something that you like to do, do it well and try to remember that it's not you specifically that the employer is riding. No matter where or what you do, your going to see the same old problems surfacing, so I think your one ahead to ask for antianxiety drugs to help. I'm not saying you won't find the magic opportunity, it may well be there somewhere, but finding it is the hardest thing in the world and holding onto it is even harder.

 

[TjCarpenter]

della anne I wish there were an easy answer. In todays economy, employers seem to really not care about an employees well being at all. Everything around us here in Ohio is the same. Long hours, poor pay, no benefits, very demanding, almost, if not impossible goals and deadlines, high turnover rates and just generally, very unhappy laborers. It seems to be a trend in the U.S. currently. No one has any job security anymore. Planning for retirement is like planning the exact meal you'll have a year from now and eating it on that day.
Don't concern yourself with friends and coworkers when it comes to the job. Take care of you and be proud of whatever it is that you do. Life on your own is no picnic and adjusting to it is stressful, but it's part of growing up. You'll make it. You may suffer bumps in the road, but learn from each one and try not to make the same mistakes twice.

The only thing I can offer is to find something that you like to do, do it well and try to remember that it's not you specifically that the employer is riding. No matter where or what you do, your going to see the same old problems surfacing, so I think your one ahead to ask for antianxiety drugs to help. I'm not saying you won't find the magic opportunity, it may well be there somewhere, but finding it is the hardest thing in the world and holding onto it is even harder.

Boy can I relate... I am two weeks post op on an AVR. I am not able to handle the stress I did before! My wife, it seems, is acting out her frustrations with my condition and I find it extremely diifficult to handle it now. I am trying to manage my expectations around recovery - BUT - my body will only heal so fast! Most of the time I am dead tired, in pain, a bit scared and generally frustrated. I just don't have the additional emotional capital to invest in my wife's issues right now. I feel really selfish and guilty at times about it - BUT - at the same time, my body is warning me that I just can't go there right now. I don't have anyone to talk to about this and I am sorry for using your stress thread to vent my problems... Thanks for listening.

Tom

 

[Ross]

Tom the sad thing in your case is, she has no idea what it's like for you. You can describe it until your blue in the face, but unless they've had the surgery themselves, they'll never understand. My sister-in-law is a perfect example of the same thing. She thinks you should be able to get up and walk a mile fresh out of surgery, go to museums, go here and there and everywhere, then gets frustrated and angry with you because you simply can't do it. I wanted to shoot her!

 

[TjCarpenter]

Tom the sad thing in your case is, she has no idea what it's like for you. You can describe it until your blue in the face, but unless they've had the surgery themselves, they'll never understand. My sister-in-law is a perfect example of the same thing. She thinks you should be able to get up and walk a mile fresh out of surgery, go to museums, go here and there and everywhere, then gets frustrated and angry with you because you simply can't do it. I wanted to shoot her!

Exactly, I feel really bad about it, but I can only do what I can do. I am starting to become impatient with myself because I am trying to keep up with her expectations. Truth is, I don't know what to really expect day to day. I just keep to my medicine, excersize, rest and dietary routines and hope for the best day(s) I can have.

I am not saying she is a bad person by ANY MEANS... It is just that I cannot help her work out her anxiety because I simply don't have the additional capacity right now.

Thank you Ross, for your kind understanding!

Tom

 

[ALCapshaw2]

It sounds like your wife could use some education and support from a knowledgable OUTSIDE source. Could a nurse or someone associated with your Surgeon's office or Cardiologist's office talk with her about what to expect during your recovery. Hopefully a little "reality therapy" might bring her expectations back in line and reduce some of her anxiety.

FWIW, I've always suspected that OHS is harder on the family than the patient. After all, we get to 'sleep' through it and are usually (or at least often) ready to improve our quality of life by whatever means necessary.

There is a good book on Heart Surgery entitled "Coping with Heart Surgery and Bypassing Depression" that includes a section on what to expect week by week during recovery for the first 6 weeks.

Alternatively, your wife might benefit from browsing in the Post Surgery Forum or even posting her concerns / feelings / fears in the Significant Other Forum. MANY of the patient spouces have been where she is!

'AL Capshaw'

 

[Sherry]

Hi, Danielle,
Check your PM's.

 

[McCln]

Please do not feel that you are alone in this. There are many people, all ages, who can not handle certain stresses in the workplace. You are not alone. I am able to cope due to homelife when I was going up. But no one is given a handbook that tells each of us how to handle stress or how to avoid is completely. Good luck on the now job that is not too stressfull. Take care and try to relax and breathe deep a few times.

 

[Guest]

I don't want to have to keep starting over again, I need to start building upon my life especially if I want to move out of my parents house. Too much to balance out in my life, work, friends, fun, maybe school if i decide to go back. How do you do it all?

*shakes head*

I wish I knew.

della, as you may remember, I'm in a very similar situation as you.... Unfortunately, I don't have any answers ... still trying to figure 'em out myself. Just know that you are NOT alone.


Cort, "Mr MC" / "Mr Road Trip", 31swm/pig valve/pacemaker
'72,6,9/'81,7.hobbies.chdQB = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/
MC Guide = http://www.chevyasylum.com/mcspotter/main.html
"Heaven knows how long it's been since I felt so out of place" ... Garth Brooks ... 'Learning To Live Again'

 

[TjCarpenter]

It sounds like your wife could use some education and support from a knowledgable OUTSIDE source. Could a nurse or someone associated with your Surgeon's office or Cardiologist's office talk with her about what to expect during your recovery. Hopefully a little "reality therapy" might bring her expectations back in line and reduce some of her anxiety.

FWIW, I've always suspected that OHS is harder on the family than the patient. After all, we get to 'sleep' through it and are usually (or at least often) ready to improve our quality of life by whatever means necessary.

There is a good book on Heart Surgery entitled "Coping with Heart Surgery and Bypassing Depression" that includes a section on what to expect week by week during recovery for the first 6 weeks.

Alternatively, your wife might benefit from browsing in the Post Surgery Forum or even posting her concerns / feelings / fears in the Significant Other Forum. MANY of the patient spouces have been where she is!

'AL Capshaw'

Thanks for your ear and your advice. I will investigate the book. I, too, believe that in many ways it is harder on my family than me... kinda... I guess I just need a bit of time to get my strength back so that I can handle the emotional stresses that accompany this sort of thing.

Thanks to all AGAIN for keeping me on track,

Tom

 

[Peggy in Alaska]

della anne:

I, too, can relate to job stress. A long story, but basically went from one bad boss to another. I was 21 at the time when I worked for the worst man in the world. It was all I could do to make it through 8 hours, and I'd come home from work and literally snuggle up on the sofa with my comforter, and just vegatate till bedtime. Stare at the TV like a zombie. It was an awful time in my life. This boss was in a position of power, we all worked at his pleasure, so he could get rid of us anytime. If you got on his black list, you might as well leave, because he would drive you out eventually. I worked for him for 3 years, and held the record as the longest employee under his reign! Do you think the employment office back in DC would question why there was such a high turnover in a small office in Alaska - good federal jobs that gals were giving up after only 3 or 4 weeks in the position?

Ok, enough on that, I told you it was a long story and I'll stop there. My point is that we all seem to go through this kind of struggle - finding a job that we can tolerate and consider a career. You will find your niche, I am certain of it. It takes time and it can be stressful, but look at the bad job as just a stepping stone to a brighter future. It will happen for you, give it some time.

Take care,

 

[jax3172]

Hi Della Anne

Hi Della Anne

Sometimes a job can be a no win situation, no matter how hard you try. I've had quite a few of them and I was the same person but sometimes I couldn't do anything right (goat) and sometimes I couldn't do anything wrong (hero).

One of the posters made a good point: find something you enjoy (not some place). If you haven?t yet, then keep looking. You?re young.

I'll add another. Evaluate your behavior and interpersonal interactions all during and at the end of the day. Strive to conduct yourself as you know you should regardless of what's going on around you, and who is doing what (easier said than done). Be honest with yourself. Be the best you can be. If you screw up (for instance, stab the moron in the back that gave you a hard time you didn't deserve), then try to not do that the next time. Give them an honest days work (but not a slave), be the best person you can be, constantly try to improve, AND THEN LET THE REST OF IT GO. Focus on feeling good about the person you are at work, and not on all the rest of the garbage. As one poster told the story (Alaska), there can be some real bad eggs out there. But most people will respect you for your character and inner strength.