Rules Against Spouses Overnight in ICU?

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deogloria

I thought I'd read on here that spouses have stayed overnight in ICU rooms. We have private (kind of) icu rooms. Four individual rooms that have glass fronted walls that look onto one open area. They allow visitors all day except change of shift. Then they will be kicking my husband out "sometime in the evening". They wouldn't be more specific. They said no spouses can stay overnight because "it's ICU". So what? They can stay all day long, but it gets dark outside and suddenly they become burdensome?

I don't want to have a party, I just want him to be there. Last time the night nurse treated me like crap, and I wasn't allowed to request a different one, like on regular floors. She bumped stuff into me, leaned on me, etc., then when I'd let her know she was pushing something into me, she's say "no I'm not". (Gee, really? Cause that means the chair pushed ITSELF into me and almost knocked me over, lady!) This was after a c-section (they had me in the heart icu just in case), and I was able to speak up for myself and move around . This time I'll be pretty helpless.

I guess I'll just have to pray really hard that I get a nurse like the early-evening nurse I had last time. She was awesome.
 
Get the nurses name & file a formal complaint against her.

Some Hospitals are funny about people staying overnight. Sometimes if you talk to the patient advocate it helps, but I wouldn't count on it. Let them know what the nurse did to you & that is why you want him there.
 
Although they didn't like it one little bit, I was able to stay in ICU overnight simply because Joe requested me to stay and insisted on it. They did nothing to accommodate me, at one point, didn't even give me a chair. I got that straightened out. They still did kick me out when they were examining him. Don't have any idea why, and wouldn't even allow me to stand in the hall while they were doing that. But I came right back in afterwards.

I was a thorn in their side. but this particular ICU was horrible and made many, many egregious mistakes. I was not about to leave my husband alone with them. He was in danger. They staffed it just the regular floor, even though it was supposed to be one on one or one on two. Many patients in severe situations were neglected.
 
We had no problem at all at Alexian Bros hospital, my wife was able to stay with me 24 hours a day and the staff made her very comfortable. My first day in ICU they just told my wife to go home because I was asleep anyway so she did, but she came back a few hours later and stayed the rest of the 6 days with me.
 
Hubby had his AVR at Emory and they would not let me stay overnight in ICU. They told me I could stay in the waiting room but my son had already seen security make several bums leave who were trying to sleep in the waiting room so we went home at midnight and were back at 7 A.M. The nurse said my hubby asked for me while I was gone and insisted he knew I did not go home and leave him. I stayed the next 6 nights in his private room.
 
I did not have anyone overnite in CCU but I was not there more than 24 hours and my SO was with me 24/7 in step down. Most of the time in CCU, you are so out of it and the care was so excellent, my SO felt fine leaving for a few hours late at night.

Every hospital is different but, if you really want your husband there, talk to the surgeon and he can usually make that happen.
 
Be sure to get a legal work around in place before you go. Go to an attorney and have a Durable power of attorney made for your husband and anyone else you designate to act on your behalf. This way, they can fire anyone on the spot and replace them as they see fit or need too and also, it's a definate leg up when they try to make them leave.
 
I depends on the hospital and what their rules are, Some with private rooms have the same chairs for spouse (or parents for kids) to sleep in the room but for the more open CICCU there isn't room, SOME CICU/ICU rooms that don't allow somene to sleep there overnight WILL allow someon to be there as long as they are awake (or sitting on the stool type chair next to the bed, but you have to go some where else to sleep (which is imnpossible for 1 person to be awakes the entire time, so we would change off and take turns ) and others only allow any visators to CICU during certain hours, including family.

That is actually one of the questions we ask when deciding where Justin will be having his surgery, we were torn between 2 surgeons /centers that were both ranked in the top 5 and it came down to where the parents could stay during the entire hospital stay.

The only thing I can suggest is talk to your surgeon about this and let the surgeon know this is very importnant to you, the surgeons sometimes can make a big difference in things like this.
 
I agree with Lyn, talk to your surgeon and let him know how very important it is to have your husband with you, especially with the terrible experience you recently had in ICU. Could you, through your surgeon, request the nurse you liked so well?
When my one son was in ICU in N.C., we were allowed to be with him 24/7, but we were not allowed to sleep bedside. In PA with another son, we were given a "sleeping room" with a phone in the hospital, but we could visit any time. These were regular PICUs, not PCICUs.
 
We have had this discussion a few times here. My son's hospital was wonderful and his ICU care was terrific and there was absolutely NO WAY I was going to leave him there by himself. Maybe we got special treatment because he was a minor, but I sat in a regular folding chair bedside all night. Actually, I stayed till the wee hours of the morning while my husband went out to the motorhome to sleep and then he came in and I went out to the motorhome to sleep. If my son is unconscious then I or my husband are there to speak for him and help him. Some nurses really appreciate the help. I am happy to feed him ice chips, rearrange his pillows, etc. I tell them that I am happy to do the easy stuff so that they have time to do the stuff that they went to school for. That often softens them up.
 
Thanks for the advice. I will try it all. The only problem is that the surgery is tomorrow morning at 7 or 7:30 am. It's probably too late to do the power of attorney, but I did just call the patient advocate. She's calling the CICU manager to see what they can work out, and will get back to me today. She's also going to have the patient advocate on duty tomorrow get in touch with my husband after I get to CICU.

I'm glad to hear everyone's stories, especially Nancy's. It really lit a fire under me to get something done about it. I know if I'd waited until tomorrow morning to bring it up with people, they would have just said "that's the rules" and I would have been stuck, because after surgery I won't be in any shape to argue for myself.

I'm sure my care will be good. I'm going to be at Abbott Northwestern Heart Hospital in Minneapolis. It's a nice, newer facility, and the care I've gotten at the heart hospital so far is pretty good. You know how it is though...the nurses control everything. They make or break a hospital stay. You can have a dozen good nurses, but it only takes one bad one, or neglectful one, to make you utterly miserable. And when I get a bad one, I think they know they can do whatever they want, because I usually don't have any family or friends coming or going, so they have no one to answer to, unless they get me really mad and I ask for a new nurse. And apparently, in CICU they don't let you do that.

I'll let you all know what the advocate says. Thank you!
 
They wouldn't let my wife in the ICU when I was getting a bath. They could only stay 10 mins at a time, but the nurses where good and let my mom and wife stay for longer than 10 mins. It all depends on the hospital. I was out of it for the first day I was in the ICU anyways.
 
The hospital may have some forms on hand that you and your husband can sign to give him the necessary power to do what has to be done for you if he sees something he doesn't like. Ask the patient advocates about it. Also remember that even though their title says they are patient advocates, they work for the hospital :)

Your doctors may be reluctant to even speak with him in some cases without your expressed agreement that he can do so. so do ask about things like this. There is a little period of time before you go in and when they actually wheel you into the OR. Maybe something can be done during that period of time.
 
Dyna said:
At UW every room is a private room & you stay in that same room during your entire stay. My wife was more than welcome to stay 24hrs a day & was never once asked to leave. They even asked her if she needed pillows, blankets, something to drink, etc. She helped me out a lot the night of surgery, feeding me ice chips, etc.
Click to expand...

This was my experience as well.
Earline
 
The patient rep talked to the icu manager, they are going to make an exception and let him stay overnight. Thank you!
 
I'll tell him to update. Don't know when that will be. If he remembers, lol.
 
I was so blessed at the Texas Heart Institute. Hubby could not spend the night but he was right outside in the waiting room.They gave him blankets and pillows and even allowed my family to stay a "few" extra minutes after visiting hours.

I was truly blessed as was my family.

Now I know why everyone comes to Houston from all over the world for heart issues....I hate to say it, but we Houstonians take our med center for granted.
 
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