Panic time...

[starkone]

Hello all,

My time is getting close and I find that I feel almost a sense of panic.
I even think about not doing the surgery. Did everyone feel like this?
I don't know how my husband is going to get me onto the plane to
Boston
I can't even imagine getting to the hospital for pre op on Monday. My
doctors advice is TAKE XANAX! That may be the answer although I don't like the thought.
Please let me know how you get through this....mentally. We all talk about the physical alot but the anquish is something in and of itself.
At least Kaj will be going in the same time!! How are you doing?
Thanks for any help....
I am not the most willing patient!
Karen

 

[geebee]

Karen,

First off - take the Xanax. It's there to help, let it help.

You will probably find that sometime over the weekend, you will start feeling calmer. Most of us have the "just before surgery calms". No idea where it comes from other than you get to the point where you realize the choice was right and everything is no longer under your control. Once you get there, you will put yourself in the capable hands of the hospital staff, the surgeon and God.

Please don't change your mind about the surgery. You KNOW it's the right thing to do, just trust your initial decision to have the surgery and you will be fine.

Stay with us until Monday. We will get you through.

 

[RCB]

Start planning recovery- Right Now!

Start planning recovery- Right Now!

Karen , dear you are too focused on surgery, the doctor will take care of that. Right now and I mean right now, start thinking about what you will do after surgery when you get home, all the projects you have to finish, things you want to do, goals for the future, think of doing something new that you haven't done before, think of the energy that you will have, think a month or two ahead.
You are going to be fine- dream a little. That is how you will get through it

 

[perkicar]

Hello all,

My time is getting close and I find that I feel almost a sense of panic.
I even think about not doing the surgery. Did everyone feel like this?
I don't know how my husband is going to get me onto the plane to
Boston
I can't even imagine getting to the hospital for pre op on Monday. My
doctors advice is TAKE XANAX! That may be the answer although I don't like the thought.
Please let me know how you get through this....mentally. We all talk about the physical alot but the anquish is something in and of itself.
At least Kaj will be going in the same time!! How are you doing?
Thanks for any help....
I am not the most willing patient!
Karen

Karen, I'm almost jealous that you are going so soon! I know I have at least 9 weeks until my surgery, you will be up and about and feeling great by the time I even HAVE mine. You are doing the right thing with the right physician. Take the xanax (and send leftovers to me LOL), take a deep breath, snuggle with your honey and focus on the future. Your healthy future. You can get through this!

 

[Phyllis]

Dear Karen,
Take the Xanax and don't even think about not getting on that plane! Once you get to Brigham, things will go very quickly and smoothly. They have a very smooth and patient- friendly system and before you know it, you will be in the step-down unit and thinking about coming home. If you are like Dick, you will be asking them every day if you can leave the next day! All good advice here- think about all the great years you have ahead and how you will be playing tennis and golf again. The best is yet to come!

 

[lance]

Try to focus on the positive

Try to focus on the positive

Please try when those worrisome thoughts invade you mind to immediately, and I mean immediately, think of something that has give you joy in the past.

Whatever caused that smile or a feeling of content. Maybe a certain view from your house, something simple--anything that takes your mind to a calmer place. A sunset, sunrise, cloud formations, trees silhouetted on the rising sun, and just how much better everything will be post surgery.

I had to work at it, it wasn't easy but it gets easier with practice.

Cheers

 

[Christina L]

Karen,

Karen,

Take the Xanax. I did before my surgery. It helps tremendously. I even used it for a while after my surgery and don't know how I would have gotten through the ordeal without it.

You are going to be fine - you just need a little help with the mental side of things and that is okay! Know that and just do it!!

Christina L.

 

[catwoman]

Karen:

If you need the Xanax, take it.

Starting a couple of days before my surgery, I "fast-forwarded" myself to post-op: This time next week, I'll be out of the OR; this time 2 weeks from now I'll be out of the hospital; etc. etc. It helped me IMMENSELY thinking ahead to being on the road to recovery, with a newly repaired heart.

I knew there was no option for me. I had SOB, was cyanotic, walking & talking fatigued me tremendously. I could not choose NOT to have surgery, as much as I feared having surgery.

I don't want to have OHS again (who does??? , but I will if needed. I didn't discover this website until post-op; otherwise, I would have been better prepared mentally and emotionally.

Good luck. And do fast-forward to when you'll be enjoying life once again -- without the symptoms of a bad valve...

 

[charlie b]

I will be praying for you!

I will be praying for you!

Hello all,

My time is getting close and I find that I feel almost a sense of panic.
I even think about not doing the surgery. Did everyone feel like this?
I don't know how my husband is going to get me onto the plane to
Boston
I can't even imagine getting to the hospital for pre op on Monday. My
doctors advice is TAKE XANAX! That may be the answer although I don't like the thought.
Please let me know how you get through this....mentally. We all talk about the physical alot but the anquish is something in and of itself.
At least Kaj will be going in the same time!! How are you doing?
Thanks for any help....
I am not the most willing patient!
Karen

Karen I will be praying for your health, and peace of mind. I will see my surgeon on Monday to set the date for my surgery. It looks like I will be going in within the next two weeks. I have not reached your stage yet, but know it is coming. I have had a couple of other surgeries, this will be the big one. In the past I turned it all over to God. If He gave you forwarning about your problem, He has already protected you and is on your side. Please project your mind to the bright future that is yours. The Bible says that fear does not come from God, He only gives peace and a sound mind. Not trying to preach, but believe me I KNOW what I am talking about, from experience. Best to you, and look forward to seeing your post-surgery messages of encouragement to others. charlie b

 

[Georgia]

It's normal

It's normal

We all felt like you do now. When remembering I can still feel the awful feeling in my stomach and crying and wanting to hide under the bed until everyone quit looking for me. And I knew I wouldn't have fit under the bed anymore!

You'll do what you have to do because you want to live and have a good quality of life. And you know that you have a whole community of friends and family here cheering you on.

Next to xanax, distraction is the best medicine for the next few days: and the best distraction I know is shopping. So go get yourself presents - some really loose and comfortable loungewear for your recuperation; get various birthday/holiday cards for people you'll need for the next couple of months; treat yourself to something that's a real luxury. You deserve it and the busy-ness really helps.

Let your husband be strong and supportive. When I was on chemo I know there were times I wouldn't have been able to get to treatments without him literally dragging me to the clinic. So when I needed the strength for OHS, I knew I could count on him.

Bless you, my dear. You'll have all sorts of good thoughts and prayers accompanying you to the hospital.

 

[Darryl's heart]

Take a deep breath

Take a deep breath

Hello all,

My time is getting close and I find that I feel almost a sense of panic.
I even think about not doing the surgery. Did everyone feel like this?
I don't know how my husband is going to get me onto the plane to
Boston
I can't even imagine getting to the hospital for pre op on Monday. My
doctors advice is TAKE XANAX! That may be the answer although I don't like the thought.
Please let me know how you get through this....mentally. We all talk about the physical alot but the anquish is something in and of itself.
At least Kaj will be going in the same time!! How are you doing?
Thanks for any help....
I am not the most willing patient!
Karen

Karen,

I'm getting close also. I'm having surgery this month on the 30th. But, you know, I don't feel so bad. I think I have reached down to the inner core of my being and have some how found the strength to go and do this. Rely on your husband and friends for support. If you need to, let it all out and then pick yourself up and feel confident in your decision to have this done, because of the ultimate outcome you will experience. I know I have friends and family that are thinking about me, praying for me and are sending good thoughts my way. You do too! I know it's hard, but try and get your mind on other things. You have the date, you know what you have to do, you are just going for the ride right now and soon you'll be getting off the ride and back into your comfy home. And, before you know it, you'll be back to yourself. I'm looking at it as this big mountain I have to cross. Right now you are almost at the peak. You've come too far to turn around and walk back down now. Take a deep breath, take the medicine to take the edge off, relax and know you'll be just fine.

 

[Bionic Man]

I know what you mean!!!

I know what you mean!!!

I didn't entirely believe the cardiologist that things were THAT bad. I was very close to putting a stop to the whole thing. I had a lot of fears about it all. I found after going through with it that I wouldn't have lasted the month. (I would have died!!!!)

In the end it wasn't as bad as what I had anticipated. Nearly everything was better that expected.

I found that self-hypnosis tapes and relaxing music helped. I also found TENS accupuncture helped a huge amount. (helped me sleep and relax in general)

Good luck. Try not to stress. It's not worth stressing. Think of it like a vacation from your responsibilities.

David

 

[ALCapshaw2]

Hello Karen,

I prepared for my second surgery by learning as much about my condition as I could and visiting the hospital beforehand to familiarize myself with the ICU and Cardiac Surgery Recovery floor.

Many of us find that once we understand and ACCEPT that our hearts are damaged, then it becomes a LOT easier to accept that we need to go ahead and get it fixed. If you are symptomatic, use your recognition of a reduced quality of life to spur yourself to move ahead in anticipation of an improved quality of life with more energy and hope.

Several of our members have reported a sense of peace and calm coming over them in the final days before their surgery. I hope that feeling comes to you also.

Best wishes,

'AL Capshaw'

 

[KathyH]

Karen,
Good Luck with your surgery. I also had my surgery by Dr Cohn, I had a St. Judes put in last April. I was very happy with Brigham Hospital and the staff. The nurses in the cardiac cath unit really put me at ease, they all had a good sense of humor and seemed to work well as a team. I will keep you in my thoughts and will be looking forward to your post op post.
Kathy H

 

[Diane]

Karen,
You are most assuredly not the only one that has felt that sense of panic! If you look back a page or two, you will find a post that I made at about 18 days before my surgery and you will see that I was in panic mode too and had all of the same feelings that you are now having.

I even drove myself to the hospital on the morning of the surgery. My mom and my aunt were with me but neither one really likes to drive and I didn't want them to have to drive any more than was necessary. My aunt even joked on the way to the hospital that my driving myself to the hospital probably made me feel like she felt when she was a little kid and they would send her out to get her own switch for a spanking.

But, I am really glad that I did it and that it is all over because now I can quit THINKING and OBSESSING about it and focus on my recovery, which by the way, seems to be going very well. If I had panicked and backed out, I think I would have felt much like a fugitive on the run......constantly looking over my shoulder for the day that they would tell me that it was no longer something that I could put off and that it was actually too late and I wouldn't get as much benefit.

Everyone seems to find their own way to get through the awful waiting period......I made lists of things to do in preparation for my recovery and of things that I needed to get done anyway and didn't want to have to be thinking about during my recovery. It wasn't a total success but it did help a lot to have some other things to focus on.

I hope you can find something to help you through the waiting period.....we will all be here to encourage you and help get you through the rough spots.

Diane

 

[vero1]

God will help you through.

God will help you through.

Hi Karen, My husband will be having surgery pretty soon also, I was sooo nervous but now I just put him in god's hands and trust him that he will be o.k. of course surgery date isn't set yet but right now I feel pretty confident. I don't know if you are religious but pray and it makes you feel soo much better. Just my opinion. Will be praying for you!!
Veronica.

 

[Barry]

Take the Xanax, but if you find yourself increasing the dose 'cause it's not working anymore back off 'cause that means you're developing tolerance. And you really really really don't want to get addicted to that stuff.

Myself, I had a 2-week wait from when I knew I absolutely had to get the operation (mechanical mitral valve) or I was going to die of congestive heart failure, 2 weeks to obsess about death. And I had the most bizarre insight: After weeks of thinking about death I became totally and completely bored with the subject, by the time they rolled me into the OR I just wanted to get it over with one way or another and literally had lost all fear of death. It's hard for something that bores you to frighten you.

 

[KAJ]

Karen,

This is Karl (KAJ). Sorry for not responding sooner but I just returned from one last business trip. I arrived home a 2:00 A.M. this morning, got up at 6:00. left for work at 6:30 and then returned home at 6:00 P.M. this evening. Right now, everything is on schedule. My wife and I leave Sunday morning for Birmingham, AL. I check in Monday morning and my surgery is at 7:30 A.M. on Tuesday. I am nervous and may may a more so when I get to the airport. This may sound corny, but I am not ashamed with I am about to say. I keep trying to remind myself, that God has sovereignly placed each person on my surgical team. He has blessed each of them with very special skills and talents. In essence, it is God's hands that will be working on me. My God is my refuge and my strength. Don't cancel your surgery, your family needs you! You will be in my prayers.

Karl

 

[perkicar]

Wow!

Wow!

Karen,

This is Karl (KAJ). Sorry for not responding sooner but I just returned from one last business trip. I arrived home a 2:00 A.M. this morning, got up at 6:00. left for work at 6:30 and then returned home at 6:00 P.M. this evening. Right now, everything is on schedule. My wife and I leave Sunday morning for Birmingham, AL. I check in Monday morning and my surgery is at 7:30 A.M. on Tuesday. I am nervous and may may a more so when I get to the airport. This may sound corny, but I am not ashamed with I am about to say. I keep trying to remind myself, that God has sovereignly placed each person on my surgical team. He has blessed each of them with very special skills and talents. In essence, it is God's hands that will be working on me. My God is my refuge and my strength. Don't cancel your surgery, your family needs you! You will be in my prayers.

Karl

Karl, I love your quote. I'm tempted to print it out and carry it with me all the time to keep me calm. I just need to keep reading that and reminding myself who is REALLY in charge.
thanks--and I'll be praying for you AND Karen on Tuesday.

 

[starkone]

Don't worry...

Don't worry...

Have no fear....I am packed and ready to go.
We leave tomorrow ....a day or so early to make sure the snow doesn't impede our arrival!! at least I get to see snow again!!
I do not have a time for surgery yet but from the way they talked I think it will be just about the same time as Karl.
I am not over doing the xanax. I have only taken 1/2 of a 2.5 for the last day. It does help in the morning.
I will definitely take it for the airplane flight....I hate airplanes!
So, don't worry...I have every confidence I will be fine. I will be in good hands from above and below. It is my husband we should be worried about.
Hugs to all,
Karen
p.s. I got a St Patricks day tiara for him to put on my head on the 17th! We will be in Boston afterall!
Thanks for all you have done....my son will post after surgery.