My Dad

[Bonzo Dog]

Thanks Cday, I know you meant well. I am having a hard time with this, I think I am more worried then BOTH my parents because I do a lot of research on the internet which sometimes makes it worse for me. I have a hard time accepting things sometimes...
(

Jojo sometimes lots of health information can cause lots of worry. The worried person often seeks information as a comfort and then becomes even more worried when in possession of the info.
This site and it's members will offer you reassurance and emotional support. It will also offer you information, lots of it. The two co-exist on here.

I just worry about my dad NOW until the surgery...he is at work and working and lifting things and stuff, it just scares me...I dont want anything to happen...

So your dad is keeping fit. That's good. It's a bad move pre surgery to become sedentary, just sitting and waiting. Good all round fitness and stamina levels will aid post surgery recovery. The better shape the rest of your Dads body is in then less chance of him lingering post op. If he's pushing himself and in denial, then maybe you do have concerns, otherwise don't worry.

 

[Nancy]

I'm here JoJo-

Your dad's at work and he's OK, right? He's doing what his cardiologist has told him. The cardiologist must know the nature of your dad's work, they always go through lots of questions like that in the initial interview. The cardiologist has not restricted your dad from doing work, apparently.

My own thinking is that your dad is used to the work he does every day and is in good physical shape muscle-wise, so is able to do his job.

I think going to work is therpeutic for him. If he were forced to stay home, his mood would not be good.

Prior to Joe's third surgery, his cardiologist dragged his feet. The cardiologist was seeing a high risk situation, so was not rushing into surgery. And Joe was VERY symptomatic. Joe finally put his foot down and just said, "I want to get this surgery done, this is no way to live" And the surgery was done and it turned out fine. But I had to promise to call the cardiologist's office right after the surgery to let them know how it went.

So, what I am trying to say in a round-about way is that there is some leeway in the length of time to wait for surgery, even when there are symptoms. You have said that the cardiologist wants to get a stress test done and then see what the results are. My guess is that this will take place soon, if not, then your dad should inquire about what the plan is.

I am not saying that the wait until surgery should go on and on and on, if the test results show a definite need, because permanent damage can occur, but there is a little leeway.

And remember that your dad is considered high risk, so they will be much more careful in evaluating him for surgery, and the parameters are a little different than they would be for someone who is not high risk.

Take it day by day and don't project into the future. Today your dad is fine.

The worst part is all the waiting.

How is your mom doing during all this?

 

[gadgetman]

JoJo,

Here is a Dad?s perspective. I suffered thru the summer before my January Open Heart Surgery (OHS) with water retention and shortness of breath (SOB). By January I couldn?t walk more than 6 steps without having to stop to get my breath.

My Cardio has been my only heart doctor since early 1995. I had two blockages when I went under his care. Because of my age at that time, he wanted to try medication before having to perform by-pass surgery. Fast forward to December 2004. He walked into the exam room with a very worried look on his face. We had always kidded back and forth during my visits so I knew this must be serious. He said ?we must get your heart fixed and fixed soon?. I never considered second opinions. He said he was sending me to Dr. McGiffin at UAB. When I asked why not Atlanta, he said because of my condition and special needs he only wanted Dr. McGiffin touching me. When he said this is the guy he would send his family to if facing the same thing that was enough for me.

We told our son and daughter that I was going in for OHS with a Mitral Valve Replacement and 4 by-passes. My daughter wanted to come over to be with us but my wife insisted she stay with her family (husband and two kids) and we would let them know of things got worse. My wife and I were concerned about facing this unknown but because of our faith we were never worried in any way. I had no second thoughts. Even when the Surgeon told us because of my condition he only gave me about a 20 per cent chance of coming thru the surgery without major complications, I don?t recall having second thoughts. With God?s help, we got thru it OK.

Your Dad is a typical MAN. Other than the occasional shortness of breath, I was not experiencing any pains or other discomfort. I realized that I couldn?t do my usual yard work routine because of my SOB and I had recently been laid off from work so I was not as pushed as your Dad seems to be. Your Dad is probably using his labor both at work and around the house to keep his mind occupied. Unfortunately (and this is from my perspective), the more you and your mother ?nag? your Dad to take it easy, they more he will try to do. It?s a MAN THING.

So how do you handle him? Show him you love him and care very much about him and his health. There is a fine line you are walking here. He has some concerns too I?m sure. Be there for him. Offer to go with him to his next visit with the Cardio. Talk to the Cardio yourself. Help him look into Surgeons and available choices. BUT DON?T PUSH. Believe me, there is nothing short of driving him to the entrance to the Hospital and pushing him thru the door that will get him there any quicker.

Get him and your mother to read the posts here. Print out this thread and let them read thru it. It will get him to thinking and also reassure him that he is not alone in this. And above all else, do not blame yourself or be guilt ridden about ?if I do this?, ?what if this happens?, and other thoughts. From all that you have posted so far, it seems his Cardio is trying to stay on top of what is going on. Unfortunately, an old saying around here is ?Cardios usually want to wait and see while Surgeons want to get in there and get it fixed.?

Prayers and good thoughts are coming y?alls way.

May God Bless,

Danny

 

[ALCapshaw2]

and also I have talked to my dad and my mom, and they seem ok with what is going on now, I cant force him to do anything else...what can I possible do more??? I told him to talk to the surgeon if he wants more answers...

I know your trying to help but I get the impression the last few posts your telling me that my father will die if he dont do something about it...he is doing what he is told...

Nancy, are you on today ?

JoJo -

I understand your frustration and I guess I'm reacting similarly.
I KNOW what it's like facing a High Risk Surgery.
Been There, Done That.

My approach is to get as many opinions as it takes to understand the Benefits vs. Risks. I have learned a LOT from the different Doctors (both Cardiologists and Surgeons) I have interviewed in the past. I *wish* your father would follow a similar path but that does not seem to be his way of doing things.

It's frustrating to me when patients don't want to understand their condition, their prognosis, and their options. I guess that comes from my engineering background. I like to 'fix things' or help others 'get fixed'. Not everyone likes that approach.

I'm sorry if I mislead you about the risks. Cday, Nancy, and Danny did a better job of clarifying what *may* or *can* happen, and not necessarily what *will* happen.

It's time for me to back off.

'AL Capshaw'

 

[jojofromct]

WOW, Nancy and Danny, THANK YOU, I have tears in my eyes after reading both your post, I seriously feel like crying, because both posts helped me so much. I am at work, and been slacking a bit today. You both made me see things a bit differently. Thank you so much.
Friday I will try and print all the posts, and bring them down to their house this weekend, as I tend to visit them THIS WEEKEND!

Thanks again for the kind words and it made me feel better again.

THANK YOU

 

[Nancy]

Just want to say JoJo, I love your happy smiling face on your avatar. You keep that beautiful smile when you see your parents. It will light up their day!

 

[jojofromct]

Thanks everyone again, Nancy you are amazing!!!

I just talked to my dad...he is going on the treadmill for a little bit and going slow with my mom there.

I see a lot of prayers go out on this board. Can you all please add my dad and my family to your prayers tonight? I will also add the entire VR board to my prayers as well.

Thanks everyone

 

[Nancy]

God Bless all and keep them safe.

 

[jojofromct]

Did anyone on this board have a HIGH RISK surgery for the replacement? If so what made your remplacement high risk? Do you know anyone that had a high risk surgery replacment?

thank you

 

[ALCapshaw2]

Did anyone on this board have a HIGH RISK surgery for the replacement? If so what made your remplacement high risk? Do you know anyone that had a high risk surgery replacment?

thank you

YES.

The Common Theme for High Risk Patients
is to find a Surgeon with LOTS of Experience
dealing with the procedure and specific risk issues
the patient has. These types of surgeons are usually
found at the Major Heart Hospitals.

Edited Addition:

Note also that the NURSES at the Major Heart Hospitals probably have more experience dealing with complications from High Risk surgeries than nurses at local or regional hospitals that deal mostly with Bypass Surgery patients.

The Nurses are the "First Line of Defense" once the patient has been released from surgery.

 

[jojofromct]

Anyone have or know anyone that was at HIGH RISK for the surgery because they have a history of clots and stroke years ago and now needs as valve replacement? I believe a mechanical valve, which I already know is at high risk for clots.

Anymore insights/advice?

 

[jojofromct]

Anyone have or know anyone that was at HIGH RISK for the surgery because they have a history of clots and stroke years ago and now needs as valve replacement? I believe a mechanical valve, which I already know is at high risk for clots.

Anymore insights/advice?

 

[jojofromct]

I am thinking all high risk surgeries are so different.

I did learn today that if my dad does have open heart surgery it might be at Danbury Hospital, the surgeon there, he is the chief of cardiac surgeon and he is from Yale. I am pretty happy about that, I read some good stuff on him.

My dad is home today, he had an infection in his testicle. He is ok. But he did admit to us yesterday he was having some symptoms he thinks and he was a little afraid to tell us, then after he told us he felt so much better.

He says he has felt numbness in his hands from time to time, not constant and also very tired, even more tired. So, he came out...AND my parents callled the cardio doctor back and left a message, so they are waiting for the phone call back.

I am sure he will go to work tomorrow unless the doc says stay home. He has his strenght so thats a good thing. He is very strong.

Thanks for listening.

Joanne

 

[jojofromct]

Has anyone ever kept working with the replacement surgery in the future?

 

[jojofromct]

Hello Everyone
Its been a few months since I posted. I wanted to give an update. My father is having his 2nd opinon appointment in October. My parents finally decided to get one.

 

[cday]

Thanks for the update.

 

[ALCapshaw2]

Anyone have or know anyone that was at HIGH RISK for the surgery because they have a history of clots and stroke years ago and now needs as valve replacement? I believe a mechanical valve, which I already know is at high risk for clots.

Anymore insights/advice?

He may want to discuss valve options with the surgeon(s) he interviews.

The Bovine Pericardial Tissue Valve has a proven record approaching 20 years when implanted in elderly patients (over 60? or 65?) and they have a relatively new "anticalcification" treatment they are hoping will extend that by a few more years.

The "new and improved" Porcine Tissue Valves also have new coatings to hopefully extend their lifetime but have not been out long enough to know their useful lifetime.

The On-X Mechanical Valve has several technological improvements which reduce the potential for Clot Formation and are currently in FDA approved tests to assess Aspirin or Plavix ONLY anticoagulation treatment in Low Risk patients.

For patients already on Coumadin, the On-X valves reduce their Clot Risk compared with older Mechanical Valves.
See www.onxvalves.com and www.heartvalvechoice.com for details.