My dad is free!

shop deals on amazon
Advertise with us
Shop deals on ebay
Valve Replacement Forums

Help Support Valve Replacement Forums:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
T

twinmaker

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 7, 2005
Messages
1,136
Location
I live in Denver NC
As you may recall, my dad (87 yrs young) had a mild heart attack and then three days later had OHS (6 bypasses and an aortic valve replacement). The surgery was six weeks ago today. He saw his cardiac surgeon today and was released. Declared perfect! He's back to driving and can do whatever he wants. Doesn't go back to see the surgeon for six months. He is my mom's caregiver since she has dementia and now that he's been given all this good news he's wanting to stay in their home instead of moving to some kind of retirement living. Oh well. At least we've convinced him to keep one nurse's aide on 7 days a week, 8 hours a day for a while. LINDA
 
As long as your dad is able to take care of himself for the most part (perhaps with someone checking on him regularly), I'd vote to let him stay in his HOME. I expect he would be MUCH HAPPIER at home than in any retirement / assisted living situation as long as he can get about and has good mental capacity.
 
ALCapshaw2 said:
As long as your dad is able to take care of himself for the most part (perhaps with someone checking on him regularly), I'd vote to let him stay in his HOME. I expect he would be MUCH HAPPIER at home than in any retirement / assisted living situation as long as he can get about and has good mental capacity.
Click to expand...

Dad is perfectly able to take care of himself. It's really my mom. Her dementia has gotten worse over the last couple of years. Before his heart attack, he was taking full care of her, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, and cooking. We tried to convince him to just let someone come in and clean the house for him, but he wouldn't hear of it. He is six foot tall and we saw him go from almost 200 pounds to 150! Fortunately, my parents are very comfortable financially so they can afford to keep the nurses's aide in the house for the time being. We just don't want to see him go down any further and he will never, ever put Mom in a nursing home. They have been married for 67 years and still sleep together. If you've ever seen the movie, The Notebook, well, this is that movie in real life. LINDA
 
Linda,
This is terrific news.:)I hope your mom and dad celebrate many more years together--at home.
 
Glad to hear your Dad is released from the surgeon. At 87 that is quite an accomplishment. Good for him! I am glad he kept a nurse for your mom. Since they've been married 67 years, he will probably insist on taking care of her as long as he is able. God Bless them both.
 
Sounds familiar

Sounds familiar

Boy, does your story bring back memories. My dad had a massive heart attack in 1991 at the age of 83 and had quintuple bypass surgery. My mom already had Alzheimer's although at that point, it was not advanced. She was able to take care of him at the beginning although it was difficult, but after that, he started taking care of her despite the fact that he was left with CHF from the heart attack. My mother finally had to go into a nursing home in 1996. My father refused to go to a retirement home. He died at the age of 90 in 1997. I was always a nervous wreck about the situation, but he would never accept the help he should have had.
 
My dad is amazing and I'm trying to put myself in his position as far as wanting to stay in their house and take care of Mom. He doesn't want to put Mom through an "assessment" to go into assisted living. I don't think he could bear to hear what they would say about Mom's capabilities or lack of them. I did find a retirement community for independent living and Mom wouldn't have to have any assessment. The manager told me that they have several couples in Mom and Dad's situation. Outside help could be contracted in when Dad needed it for Mom. An apartment, three meals, and all the extras. No buy in, and it's on a month to month basis with no lease. My brother checked it out (they live in KY) and said it's perfect. If Dad wants to stay in their house, we will support that decision but I get scared remembering what happened in Louisville a few months ago. Ice storm and the power was out for a week. My brother brought food into them everyday because Mom and Dad couldn't leave house for all the ice outside. Plus no one else had power either so going to be with family wouldn't have helped. Plus Mom doesn't do well outside of her comfort zone (home). Another reason that I'm sure Dad doesn't want to move. Sorry to keep going on and on. I'm sure most people face these things as their parents age. I just want them to be happy, safe, and comfortable. LINDA
 
Linda, He must be an incredible guy to recover so fast at that age. I also admire his love for, and commitment to your mom. I know what being a caregiver is like, and it is very hard. All the best, Brian
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Latest posts

Back
Top