My Choice My Regret

[malibu82]

if it makes you feel any better, in october i was wondering if i made the wrong choice going with a tissue valve. but i just had to come to a realization that whats done is done....

i feel so bad for you, i didn't get a mechanical because i was mainly afraid of that ticking driving me crazy and the coumadin was a secondary reason. but as a lot of people on here have said, the ticking will quiet down with time hopefully

even with my tissue valve, my heartbeat was SO LOUD after surgery i thought it was going to drive me insane! i kept complaining about it, and i could feel each pulse through out my whole body. now i dont hear it unless i am sleeping on my right side for some reason. and i dont feel it everywhere either.

i hope yours will quiet down soon

 

[MarkU]

Hang in there friend. You've been through a lot and it takes time.

When I got my St Jude valve I did notice the ticking at first, especially in bed at night.

But now ten years later there are days when I don't even think about the fact that I have a mechanical heart valve. I seldom hear it anymore unless I try to.

Be patient. Things will get better.

Mark

 

[dick0236]

.........I keep praying the noise settles down.

I hope that your valve noise is only temporary. As I vaguely remember, my valve sounded like "bouncing a golf ball on a concrete floor". The valve noise continued to quieten down until it was no longer noticed by me...or others. I recently changed doctors and my new internist commented that it was one of the quietest valves he had ever heard.

FWIW, the "loud" ticking sound was measured in months....not years. As my body healed and I gained weight and became more active, the noticeable "ticking" went away.

 

[edjspi]

My experiences are mostly a combination of what everyone else has said here, so I'm not sure I can add much.
my tissue valve went out last year after only 6 years and at age 35, my doctor gave me the choice of getting another tissue valve but HIGHLY recommended I went mechanical. Honestly the biggest thing I was worried about was the coumadin.... didn't worry that much about the noise.

Now I'm almost 6 months out after getting an On-X valve 9/7/2010. I hate to say that the ticking has been the biggest problem for me also - NOT the coumadin. someone said something about not noticing it for minutes at a time - I do have that, I suppose when my focus is on something else. But I CAN hear it all the time, and I do hear it every night when going to bed. It does still drive me nuts sometimes, but I have noticed it very gradually getting quiter or less noticable... or maybe both. a few months ago almost anyone could hear it within a few feet of me. Now my wife really has to strain to hear it, even in bed at night. There are times when I don't hear it now, but I can hear it whenever I 'want' to... like right now as I'm sitting in my office typing this. I hear a faint noise that 'feels' like it is in the back of my head right at the base of my skull.... But when I start to get down about it and regret starts to enter my mind - I look at my 3 sons and immediately my regret is replaced by gratefulness and happiness that I'm here to enjoy them and they have a father.

The other VERY strange thing to me that I've noticed since this surgery (didn't notice it on the first surgery) is a grinding type of noise/feeling at the base of my skull/top of my neck. same spot where I hear the ticking. wondering if anyone else has expereienced this?

Most nights I'm still taking a sleeping aid to make sure I fall asleep, but I'd like to get out of that habit eventually. I suppose I need to focus on and learn more things that will divert my attention more often.

my thoughts probably don't help at all....sorry about that. Just realize that you are not alone in what you are going through, and I've found that living by this mantra since my second surgery helps:

"IT CAN ALWAYS BE WORSE! BE GLAD YOU ARE ALIVE AND PROBABLY WON'T HAVE TO REPEAT SURGERY!"

-Eddie

 

[Protimenow]

Try going to sleep with music (perhaps a radio on a timer to turn off in an hour or so?) - you may even be able to put small speakers under your pillow. These will help drown out or replace the sound of the ticking.

If you can find 'The Best of Leroy Anderson', you'll find songs on there that may make your ticking seem less important. (It's probably long out of print, and you may not like it, but there's a song with a ticking clock, and another based on a typewriter, and they're MUCH more prominent than a click in your ears).

 

[dtread]

Topmommy, sorry to hear you're having problem with your mechanical valve. Although you're not very specific from your post it sounds like valve noise is what bothers you. From past posts it seems there have been only a very few other folks on the site that have posted similarly. As indicated from the majority of posts on this thread, the mechanicals seem to get quieter over time. Valve noise was never an issue for me even from day one, although I can hear a very faint "tapping" noise if its real quiet and I strain to listen. Not sure what you mean by "My next valve, in 20 years or so, will be a pig valve." The fact is that your mechanical should outlast you and you should not need to have a "next valve". You could opt for a reoperation if you want, or perhaps you might need a reop for other reason(s) (e.g., aortic aneurysm). But that is the primary advantage of the mechanicals; i.e., that you should not need to have a reop to replace it. You're only three months out from surgery; hopefully you're valve will settle in and get quieter over time.

 

[JUST-WAITING]

How about a fan or air filter unit ? Will this help- Do not think you are alone in making a decision- I went with a ats "horse " valve and Now I sometimes think "should I had the Ross done or got a mechanical"? Who knows - just try to move forward each day and not stress.

 

[catwoman]

Unless you measure sound in decibels or a similar instrument, our perception of sound/noise is subjective. Some people have higher threshholds of toleration to noise. Some people hear things more accutely, some less so. Same with sense of smell, taste, etc.
For example, I have to have headphones & an i-Pod (my dentist's) when I get my teeth cleaned. I just can't tolerate the sound of the polishing -- it's like someone scraping their fingernails down a blackboard. (I can't tolerate touching velvet, velveteen and similar fabrics -- same sensory effect.)
But I've never been bothered by any sound from my valve.

 

[Elmo]

Soory to hear you're not feeling your best. I'm only 4 months post op from my AVR (tissue valve), so I don't have the experience of some, but I'm a few weeks ahead of you. At about 2 months I started getting upset & frustrated as i wasn't making the progress I thought I should be. I spoke to my doctor, the nurses at the doctor's surgery & the nurses as the hospital and my surgeon. They all assured me that it was quite common to feel like this & that many patients suffer from a form of depression after major surgey - especially when they think they aren't doing well enough or are "going backwards".
They told me to focus on the positive things - walking further, faster, more easily; not being breathless; not having angina; not being tired, listless, lethargic; and most importantly being ALIVE!!! - and to do as much exercise as i was able to without any injury. The exercise certainly helped, as I got fitter, I felt better and was motivated to do more and so on.
Is there anyone you can talk to? Or can you get some counselling or even speak to someone else who has had heart surgery? I found things felt far better by just being able to chat with someone who really understood what I was talking about.
Things definitely get better as your body adjusts and i think your mind re-adjusts too.
I don't think you made a "wrong choice". Hindsight is a wonderful thing!!! There are pros and cons to each valve type & as you can see from the forum there are people who choose each & will tell you why their's is best.
Take care and I'm sure things will get much better.

Tony

 

[MikeB]

If I had know then what I know now about this Mechanical Valve, I would NOT have gotten one. I am reminded on a daily basis the ordeal I went thru before the valve like seeing the scar is not enough. I am not bitter, just wiser now. Maybe the lack of oxygen affected my judgement, or I felt pressured. I keep praying the noise settles down. My next valve, in 20 years or so, will be a pig valve. Regardless of what my Dr wants or suggests.

When I was going in for surgery I was supposed to get a Pig's valve but when I woke up I was told I had to get the Mechanical valve because of the size, which I knew going in, but I must say I am happy that I have now because I don't want to go thru any surgeries again. You only had it a few months so it does take some time to get used to the noise and eventually you wont even hear it. The only time I hear it is when I tell someone about it other than that it is blocked from my hearing. Give it some more time in the long run I think you will be happy with your decision.

 

[Jkm7]

MikeB....

Reading your post took my breath away and I admire your acceptance.

I would have been beserk if I had woken up to learn my surgeon implanted a tissue valve especially given he never gave any indication there was a chance that could happen. I can't imagine how emotionally painful that would have been for me.

I'm so happy you don't feel that way.

 

[MikeB]

MikeB....

Reading your post took my breath away and I admire your acceptance.

I would have been beserk if I had woken up to learn my surgeon implanted a tissue valve especially given he never gave any indication there was a chance that could happen. I can't imagine how emotionally painful that would have been for me.

I'm so happy you don't feel that way.

Well I did kind of know. What the surgeon said was, if the Pig's valve fit they would use it, they only come in one size, if it didn't they would have to use the Mechanical because they come in different sizes, so I knew there could be a chance I would end up with Mechanical, but again I am happy with the outcome because the recovery was one the most painful times in my life and I never want to go thru that again. Like I said you will definitely get used to it and eventually you won't hear it. It took a good six months for it be blocked from hearing but trust me you won't regret the decision.

 

[Guest]

Just wanted you all to know that I am still alive and kicking. Getting used to the noise, which I no longer hear during the day, but still some when I lay down, but I don't feel like its driving me crazy anymore. Time heals. I stll cannot stand this new job, but will hang in there until something else comes along, still miss my old work friends, but have made new ones. I'm looking forward to my Daughters Graduation from the University of Arizona in two weeks. The next time I cry will be that day. While I still have my emotional moments, they are few and far between now. I have read each and every post everyone has taken the time to write for me. I am not alone. Thanks

 

[catwoman]

Glad you're doing well.
Sounds like you've got a great milestone to mark in your daughter's life! I know several University of AZ grads. Good school!

 

[Jason]

TopMommy,

Glad to hear you have gotten used to and/or accepted the sound from your mechanical valve. Like you I can certainly hear mine, although when I do happen to hear it during the day it doesn't bother me at all. It is actually comforting. It is at night that it does intrude on me, as the noise still keeps me awake without a sleeping aid of some kind. I will be almost asleep and then realize I am counting... heartbeats. And then I am awake again. From what I have read, this too shall pass, and it is a small price to pay for a valve that will keep me ticking (literally) for many years to come!

 

[dick0236]

From what I have read, this too shall pass, and it is a small price to pay for a valve that will keep me ticking (literally) for many years to come!

I believe that once everything settles down, you will no longer dwell on the new "clock" and the sound, if any, will become muted and fade away....or you will get used to it. "Acceptance" is the key and that is where VR.org can help.....and AMEN to the last part of your sentence.:thumbup::biggrin2:

 

[Lynlw]

I'm glad things are getting better, I think of you often.

 

[Superbob]

Very glad to hear that all is getting better for you and that the good folks of vr.com have been helpful in this process of acceptance in which we all share one way or the other.

All best to you going forward!

 

[bahlvarun]

Good to know that you are getting used to your new stuff, my personal experience is that I loved the sound of the valve, its so re-assuring to me that everything is fine. In cases where I am worried, tired and stuff like that I look forward this sound to tell me every thing is fine.

Finally, Its all fate, God has given you another chance enjoy it rather then regret it, I do every moment of it....

Have a nice day...!!

 

[Natina13]

And I have wished I had gotten the Mechanical Only reason I didn't...was my Doc said..I would need future bypasses anyways...if not for the hereditary bit...I would not have gone tissue. I figured if I have to have a re-op in my 70's.......why have to bother with all the labs, blood thinners.... I am just GRATEFUL...the one I have is working perfectly......I feel blessed Maybe by then, the surgery will be less invasive. I am looking forward to a bright, healthy future......and intend to allow less "drama" in my life....even from my children. Serenity now........is my slogan !!
Renee

ps...I doubt I would hear the mechanical one, over the loud constant tinnitus I have in my left ear...