Well here I am (mother of 7 year old and 4 1/2 yr old, wife of police officer with crazy hours) and the Dr. just told me by phone that based on echo a week ago and stress test yesterday it is time for surgery!!!! I would appreciate... any ANY advice for my family.
My daughter is older than your children, but she has special needs, so she requires a lot of care. My husband normally travels a lots. So hopefully some of the things I did will be helpful to you.
One of the best things I did may not be realistic for you, time-wise. I was able to postpone my surgery until my daughter was at camp. It sounds like your doctor wants you to have your surgery very soon. Still, it might be possible to schedule your hospital time -- or maybe more importantly, your immediate post-hospital time -- for a time when your children can be completely cared for by someone other than your husband. If that someone lives far from your older kid's school, perhaps your surgery can be scheduled during a school vacation.
Even if you have excellent insurance, I am sure that you are making a medical-care budget. I highly suggest factoring into your "surgery budget" the following things:
* child care
* child transportation
* errand service
* housekeeping service
* pet service, if necessary
I know that it's likely that you have relatives, friends and neighbors who can help you in many ways. Still, when it comes to things that must be done relatively long-term, and on a specific schedule, you may need to avail yourself of a paid service.
Go straight to the top and meet with your oldest child's school principal. He or she can call in your child's future teacher and school counselor. (They have probably already assigned your child to a classroom.) This way you can figure out how to handle homework, missed days of school and tardiness, as well as giving them a heads-up that your child may be worried about you.
Although my surgery was in the summer, I was having trouble doing normal activities for a few months before surgery, and we had to be a little creative to get my daughter to and from school.
You may think, "but I should be recovered in two months." I don't know what kind of surgery you will be having; certainly you will have an easier recovery if they are not sawing your sternum apart. However, you need to be prepared for times when you are too tired to drive or cook, for times when you have complications, for medical appointments that you should not or cannot reschedule, and for your own rehabilitation program.
Finally, start stockpiling every non-perishable personal care, cleaning and food item you can think of. Even better than sending your husband, relatives or errand services out to find these things is to have them on hand.
I'll post more when I think of things. All of this is very fresh on my mind because my daughter comes back from camp on Saturday and starts school on Monday. On the one hand, it will be great to have someone around who can do laundry. (No, I don't trust my husband with the laundry!) On the other hand, someone needs to get her to and from school every day.
I hope I've given you some ideas!
