Major stressin here - Valve replacement in 10 Days!

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RandomDude83

Member
Joined
Mar 7, 2014
Messages
11
Location
Evansville, IN USA
I was born with aortic valve stenosis. We've monitored it my whole life and its was always moderate, but over the last couple years its gotten narrower. So after many $50 co-pay appointments :)mad:) Ive decided on getting a mechanical valve. Im 30, so to me this option was the obvious choice. Ive got a wife, 3yr daughter and currently another bun in the over, so this surgery has got me majorly stressing. Ive always handled stress poorly, on anxiety meds etc, but this is taking the cake.

What do I need to do to ready myself? I plan on writing a letter to my wife and daughter this week just in case everything goes south. Family is telling me everything is going to be alright, but Ive got this voice in the back of my head reminding me Im bout to get my sternum split wide open and hooked up to life support. What if I dont wake up? What if what if what if!!???

How have any of you handled this?
 
I had my valve replaced in August. Honestly the wait was more difficult than the actual surgery. I relaxed mainly by thinking about my recovery, and ready for this life long wait to be over with. Once I woke up post surgery, I was so focused on being a great patient for the staff, on walking, on encouraging others. Don't let the negatives take over your thoughts! I wrote letters to my wife and kids, but that's as far as I got into being worried. I worked on preparing the house for my recovery, and learning as much as possible about the rehab.

The sternum cracked open did scare me, but now that is a very light scar, and I am able to do everything I ever wanted. Stay positive for yourself and your family! Goodluck!!
 
Now , that I am 1 year post surgery..it is easy to say no problem. You are experiencing normal concerns and worry.
How is your aorta? Mine was a mess. So, I was in the OR for 9 hours. You will do just fine!:thumbup:
 
Look at all the success stories on this website. I had OHS 10 months ago today to fix an aortic aneurysm. From my perspective it just wasn't as big a deal as I expected. The success rate in OHS surgeries is very high even though it includes many people that are elderly and in poor health. You are young so the odds are even better that you will do fine. It is normal to be nervous prior to surgery - that is often the worst part of the whole experience.
 
I had a severe aortic stenosis until avr surgery last year, June 10. The weeks leading up to the big day were filled with worry and excitement. I kept reminding myself that this was going to save my life and I had no other choice. I became excited to get it over with and start recovery. I found this forum and began to read up on what to expect pre and post surgery. The evening before surgery I did the prep shower and went to bed. The next morning I was up at 4am, took the second prep shower and was off to the hospital. I was calm and really glad that this would soon be over and I'd be onto the next stage....... Recovery.
 
I think the key is to focus on the positives. For me it was a no brainer to get my AVR when compared to the alternative of not getting it done.
I am 6 weeks post Op today and while a few years older than you (39). I have two very young children and also opted for a mechanical valve.
The risks are low when you take into account the planned nature of your replacement, and your age.
You will bounce back. Obey the lifting restrictions and you need not worry about your sternum. Its more of a pressure than a pain...just don't sneeze :). It will heal before you know it.
As everyone will tell you, waiting is the worst part. It sounds like you have a supportive family which is key. I think the whole process has been harder on my wife (who has been great throughout the whole process) than it has on me.
It is important to mentally prepare yourself for what's ahead, but don't over focus on the worst case scenarios.
 
I understand your fears completely - I would get so teary-eyed when thinking about "What-if" so I tried to stop thinking about it. Write a letter if you feel you need to. I didn't. The worst times are the quiet times with the spouse. The BEST times are looking forward to post-op, when everything is healed and I can get back to being myself 10 years ago - fun and fearless! Rollercoasters and long kayak trips and not worrying about parking far away from a store.

We wrote our wills, and Living Wills. That was emotional. I spent the day before surgery with my family, having lunch and telling jokes. It is serious surgery! But if you get too bogged down with how serious it is, you'll find yourself in a funk that is difficult to get out of. I'm 18 days post op, and the surgery is a blurry hazy memory. The only reason I remember waking up for the first time is because my family likes to remind me that all I could say was "Feet" and "Hot."

Like others have said and done before me, in the week before surgery I started to get excited about having it done, looking forward to a renewed sense of self and more energy. I never really felt bad, but then again, if you put a lobster in a pot of water before you turn the heat on, the lobster doesn't feel bad either (well, until it's too late). And I didn't want to reach "too late."

The best part about splitting the sternum wide open? YOU WON'T REMEMBER ANY OF IT!

Doc says I'll be on a roller coaster before Memorial Day.

Peace be with you!
 
I had my aortic and mitral valves replaced on Thursday. I experienced all of what you felt even though I had OHS 7 years ago. The waiting room was not easier the second time around for me. Recovery has been though. Of course I feel like I've been run over by a bus, but I do feel better than last time and the doctors are very happy.

My kids are 7, 5 and 21 months. I debated writing letters to them (Letters to kids thread) but didn't. I made sure my husband had all the information he'd need for bills, accounts, life insurance etc. If you are the financial caretaker in your house it's a good idea anyway. Most of us have successful surgeries with good recoveries. I think everyone has the what ifs. They are completely normal and I think magnified by having a young family.

All the best of luck. When I woke up on Thursday afternoon I felt like crap of course, but delighted to feel it. You'll feel the same very soon. Here I am three days later tucking into delicious hospital food having gone for three walks today. You will do it too!
 
Random dude
I am 52 yrs old and I had AVR 4 yrs ago and can remember very well feeling the way you describe. Today I am back in the same boat with you again. The pre surgery jitters can get you down if you let them. This time I feel much better about the possibilities you are on the right track getting on hear learning from others and making yourself an informed patient is key. You are on the right track. There is a wealth of information to be gained from this and other communities like this read learn and make informed decisions. I wish I had done the same before my first surgery. I may have made different choices that would have kept me from being hear now. Trust me you are way ahead of where I was on my first go around. Learn from the people hear your doctors and you will make the right choices for your future. As for the surgery itself it's a big hurdle but when it's behind you you will wonder why you ever worried about it.

Sent from my SPH-L720T using Tapatalk
 
Dear RandomDude83,

I believe all patient who went through AVR have the same fear which you are facing now.
Im personally one of them! Anway I am 4week post op today. Is fine to do alittle worst preparation but just keep it within yourself. Because you will be fine eventually.
My surgery only took 4hr plus I'm back to my home after 8days. Perhaps im young (24yo) and recover period are much faster compare to the rest.
Till now i believe it will be better for you to start research what are those food you have to be pre-caution in the future (such as high vitamin-K) than worry about this surgery.
No worry and you will be fine. See you at the other side

sean
 
R-D,
I am on the other end of the spectrum from your situation. I didn't find out that I had aortic stenosis until I was about 52. Then I spent almost 10 more years in The Waiting Room. I went through all of the stages we all experience, and I had time to do it over and over again. After the first round, though, I learned from the folks here that one time being so stressed out was enough. I learned all I could about my condition, the procedure and prognosis. After that, I just made my plan and kept to it. That helped me (major control freak) calm - just knowing what I had to do and when to do it.

By the time I had my valve replaced, I was 63 - quite a bit older than you are. I had my surgery, then almost trainwrecked in recovery. I had many complications. I won't go through them all (if you really want to know, search my older posts from 3 years ago), but I wanted to be sure to tell you that even though I was older and hit almost all the potholes and speed bumps on the road to recovery, I made it through all that and I'm still here to talk about it. I made it through the problems to get to where I am - life is even better than it was in the years leading up to valve surgery. I hardly remember how the problems felt - only that they were there and I beat them. You will, too, if you even have any problems. Remember - although the day of surgery is, for us, a life-changing day, for our hospital care teams it is just "another day at the office."

No matter what happens, they have seen it before and they know what to do about it. Just put yourself in their hands. Have faith in them, in your family and in whichever Higher Power you choose. At your age, you won't just cruise through it, you will roar through it and be back with Daddy's Girl sooner than you think.
 
RandomDude83 said:
............. What if what if what if!!???
?
Click to expand...

Hi neighbor. What if's will drive you crazy. The REAL "what if" is....."what if" I don't have the surgery? That "what if", for me, was much more dismal.....very real chance of sudden death and a life expectancy of 40(maybe).

If you are like the vast majority(a couple million) who have had this surgery, you will be OK afterwards.......and will see your toddler and bun grow up. BTW, my sons where six and eight when I had the surgery....and now they are grandparents....that makes me a great-grandparent.....which is an example of a "what will".
 
Coping With Heart Surgery and Bypassing Depression

Coping With Heart Surgery and Bypassing Depression

I, too, felt a lot of anxiety after I first received my diagnosis. It can be scary to suddenly learn that there is a problem inside that will require surgery to fix and its very understandable that you want it done now. BUT! Your problem is one that can not only be corrected; it can be corrected quite well so you can go on to live a normal life. You are just on a different path to the future than you were a few weeks ago. When you speak with your surgeon, you need to share your anxieties. Getting them out in the open is the best way to defuse them.

If you are a reader, My doctor suggested what proved to be a very good book that might help you now:

Coping With Heart Surgery and Bypassing Depression: A Family's Guide to the Medical, Emotional, and Practical Issues

http://www.amazon.com/Coping-Heart-Surgery-Bypassing-Depression/dp/1887841075

Larry
 
Hey RandomDude,
Waiting is really tough. I know where you are coming from, though. My kid was 10 months old when I had my OHS, I was just getting to know her and being cool cucumber that I always am last several days messed with my head big time. I never showed it, never admit it - so there ;) Anyways, many folks from this forum messaged me and emailed me and supported me through the last second. I am eternally grateful and just so that you know we are all here for you. Read our stories, pick up the book that is in my signature, same one Mentu has recommended, and also if you need someone to talk to we are all available. I am your age, and so are a bunch of other folks here. I'd be happy to chat with you if you want first hand experience and recollections, read my surgery post below, its pretty detailed. Ping me if you want to chat.
 
R-D, there IS a smart-a$$ way to think of it, too:

As I was getting ready for surgery, I reminded my wife that ". . . if it all goes wrong, I'll never know."

OK - I didn't mean to offend you or make you feel worse. It is just that with Ross gone, somebody had to be the smart-a$$ now and then.
 
epstns said:
As I was getting ready for surgery, I reminded my wife that ". . . if it all goes wrong, I'll never know.
Click to expand...

I used to say this to my husband too. There is only so much worrying you can do and preparing. I did both of those things and then kept remember that I wouldn't be around to see the fallout and it would be up to him what to do afterwards. Not exactly comforting, but for me it meant letting go a little of the franticness of the worry.
 
We have all been through and experienced the anxiety and fear you are going through right now. But keep in mind one thing, you are listening to the stories of "survivors" here and soon you will be among us sharing your story.

Thank God that forums such as this exist today! Back in the day I had my surgery, heart forums did not exist...heck, computers were not even a household item yet, therefore, I had no one to offer me comfort or reassurance on one of the scariest surgeries around!

In the meantime keep reading our stories and hopefully some of your fears will lessen and you will look forward to getting the surgery over and done with!

Wishing you all the best!
 
Mentu said:
If you are a reader, My doctor suggested what proved to be a very good book that might help you now:

Coping With Heart Surgery and Bypassing Depression: A Family's Guide to the Medical, Emotional, and Practical Issues

http://www.amazon.com/Coping-Heart-Surgery-Bypassing-Depression/dp/1887841075

Larry
Click to expand...

Yes, yes, yes!!!!!!! This book, along with Adam Pick's book, were a huge help to me and my husband. My father enjoyed reading them as well. He said he had a much better understanding of what I was going through and what to expect after surgery.
 
Did it four years ago with three active boys and a five month old baby girl at home. Did it 23 years ago as a teenager and only myself to worry about. Teenager was easier, but I made it through the other just the same. Now I've got four active boys and one active girl. I'm still keeping up (other than not getting any younger.)

This, too, shall pass. I've been on warfarin 23 years and it hasn't slowed me down any. Not saying any of this is easy by any stretch.

My anxiety level on the whole thing is a little different than most. I was born in the "waiting room" as some describe it. Pending open heart surgery was all I knew growing up and so it was more of a relief when it finally got here. It meant freedom to me. I was held out of gym class, couldn't participate in any extra-curricular sports, had to quit games when I got winded, etc. When it was done, it really freed me up to get a lot more active. The second surgery was more of a surprise, but having been through it once already I still don't recall being surper anxious. Maybe more than the first because I had more riding on the outcome.

You'll get through it be roughhousing with kids in no time!
 
Steve, thanks for the laugh. I definitely turn to gallows humor when frightened! When I told a friend I have to have surgery, she pointed out that I'd probably be more likely to die in a car crash on the way to the hospital than in the surgery.

Dude, best wishes for a speedy recovery! At this point, I'm hoping to keep it together as I get closer to the big day. I know it won't be easy, and I'll be leaning on my husband for support.
 
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