I posted about this before, but it still gets my grits!

[cherylchapa]

*Those in California OR who happen to be snotty and clannish,please take no offense

No offense taken from this snotty and clannish Cali girl.

Maybe that stupid woman has some sort of cognitive disorder. You really should feel sorry for her. Sounds to me like she has Foot in Mouth Syndrome and if she isn't careful she's likely to contract Fist in Face Syndrome if she hasn't contracted it already.

Sorry you ran into such a dolt!

 

[Ross]

Who knows when our time is near? ?

 

[Lisa in Katy]

The day I had my cath, there was a man across the way who was also in his 30's, along with a few older folks. The nurse told me, "It's so nice to have some young blood in here today. So much less stress for us!" I appreciated being called young.

I doubt I would have held my tongue in this situation. I probably would have said, you know there's another condition you should be aware of. It's called being a busy body biatch!

 

[ryen0]

Hi, all--

I posted in frustration about this a while back, and the same thing happened AGAIN the other day.

I decided to take better care of myself and exercise more now that school ended last week (and get rid of those 20 butt pounds I've been carrying for a while). My friend from work exercises with some friends of hers and invited me along to walk with them. I put on a sports top, some shorts, and my comfy sneakers before leaving for my workout.

When my friend introduced me to her exercise friends, she told them that I'd just had my third valversary. One of the friends looked me up and down, and curtly commented, "I don't see a scar." I offered to lift up my top so she could see the scar under my boob, and she said no thanks. I wasn't going to show it to her, anyway. My friend explained that I had minimally invasive surgery and that's why there is no visible scar. Later, I overheard her say to one of the other girls, "How on earth could she have had heart surgery? She doesn't have a scar! I think she has that mental thing where people make up stories to get sympathy--what is it? Munchausen's?" I didn't give her the satisfaction of saying anything, but I was pretty miffed.

Geez. You'd think with today's technology, people would understand that there is such a thing as minimally invasive heart surgery. It doesn't happen often, but every now and then I get those looks from people who think I'm lying about my surgery because I don't have a visible chest scar. Really, now.

Anyway, I know some of you out there have some pet peeves regarding your surgery, especially you youngsters who hear that "Oh, but you're so young to have heart problems!" If I had a dollar every time someone said that to me all the times I was in the hospital, I could retire! Sheesh!

i've come to terms with the fact that people, in general, are stupid

 

[Nancy]

I think you missed a golden opportunity to educate not only that gal, but the rest of them standing there about the different kinds of open heart valve surgery.

I think you should make it sound mysterious and unusual and very, very special, which of course, it is. It is a whole new approach to open heart surgery that not every surgeron does. Talk about your surgeon and how great and talented he is. Perhaps down the road one of them will be facing something like that, you never know. Bet they will come running to you asking for advice.

I say go with them again and give them a LONG boring lecture (my kids call them LBLs), and draw some pictures of what was done to you and explain it all in simple terms so the idiots can understand.

It will make you look like a hero, and you will come out of it with some respect for what you have been through.

And that subject will never come up again.

And you know what, they will probably ever after address all heart questions to you.

Turn the tide in your favor.

 

[Ross]

The day I had my cath, there was a man across the way who was also in his 30's, along with a few older folks. The nurse told me, "It's so nice to have some young blood in here today. So much less stress for us!" I appreciated being called young.

Hey young lady, wanna go out to eat with an old man with no teeth?

 

[Ross]

i've come to terms with the fact that people, in general, are stupid

At the very least, the common sense IQ has declined rapidly over the last 10 years.

 

[Dina]

No offense taken from this snotty and clannish Cali girl.

I don't believe it of you for a second
In no way do I believe California is the capital of clique-ish behavior,was just playing off the stereotype,I grew up in the Louisville suburbs and you shoulda seen the girls I grew up with..snotty doesn't begin to describe it,and I was even friends with some of them - its amazing I came out so down to earth.

Also I have to agree and disagree with JeffM - while we should laugh it off,
there is no excuse,why grown women should take swipes,especially within
hearing distance,I consider this to be more vicious than ignorant. Don't
mean to be so intense,but Its one thing that really ticks me off.
Sorry Debi.

 

[COLLEEN S]

Those people are pennies looking for change! Thats what my husband says.

 

[Cozycat]

Debi, I agree with Nancy....give them a long, boring, highly descriptive "sermon" about heart surgery and the fact there are many kinds, how hard the recovery can be, etc. Before I needed my AVR I knew basically nothing about valve replacement, heart surgery, etc and this is probably where most people are because they don't need it. But some questions and comments can get very insensitive, so you just have to keep educating and maybe find more sympathetic walkers. I wear my surgery like a "badge" and tell everyone willing to listen what I had done and what a difference it makes in your life (both the positives of having the surgery and the negatives of the recovery period). Some day they may be glad they heard about it someplace because they or someone they know is faced with the same.

Midge

 

[debster913]

Thanks, all, for your replies. I've been away for a few days--who said summer vacation wasn't busy?

Some of you brought up points that it's easier to tell a cancer patient from a heart patient. When both my parents had cancer, the signs that they were undergoing treatment were obvious. (In my mom's case, not so much as she remained in the hospital the rest of her life following cancer surgery).

With heart patients...well, we look healthy on the outset (most of us do). I can't tell you how many times people made comments about how good I looked when my valve was failing pre-surgery. "Oh, you don't look sick. You look great!" was the normal response when my mom or I mentioned my upcoming surgery. It was after surgery when these same people would say things like, "You look so much better. You were pale before."

In my work with the gals from the American Heart Association, we've discussed this same thing--how heart patients don't normally look "sick" so it is harder to tell that a person has heart disease and therefore educate the public about it.

Education is key...and in the meantime, I'm running the stairs and walking with just my friend. Need to get this heart stronger.

 

[cherylchapa]

With heart patients...well, we look healthy on the outset (most of us do). I can't tell you how many times people made comments about how good I looked when my valve was failing pre-surgery. "Oh, you don't look sick. You look great!" was the normal response when my mom or I mentioned my upcoming surgery. It was after surgery when these same people would say things like, "You look so much better. You were pale before."

Don't you think most of the time when people say something like that they are trying to be nice? Maybe the immediate reaction is to say something to make you feel good about yourself. "You look great!" is usually meant as a compliment in my experience but then again, I've never been a heart patient. And maybe they didn't notice how pale you were before because they had never seen you healthy and pink. You know, nothing to compare it to. Just a thought. Still what that idiot woman said to you was uncalled for and downright mean!

 

[Nancy]

"how heart patients don't normally look "sick" so it is harder to tell that a person has heart disease and therefore educate the public about it.
"

The recent death of Billy Mays is a prime example of someone who looked like the picture of health and acted like it too, but had major heart problems, and died a sudden death because of it.

 

[lisou]

I hear you Deb, the first time I went to my cardiologist since it was my first visit had to fill out those forms for chart. This older gentlemen was sitting in front of me and asked me if I was applying for a job as a receptionist, I replied that I was there to see the doc, then he said geez your too young to be seeing a cardiologist you must not be taking care of yourself, I couldn't believe he just said that I was really offended. The cardio was laughing when I told him that and he was saying that older people don't realise that there can be congenital heart problems. Then just like you while in the hospital I heard the same thing aren't you a bit young for this. I was the baby on the floor at the hospital. But it's all good, now that I'm all fixed.

 

[deek]

Oh, boy can I relate to this but instead of not having a visible scar, I have a very visiable scar. Well, I'm 3 months post-op and I "finally" said,"to hell with not wearing my v-neck t-shirts as I just love them, especially in the summer..." So I went to the mall and as I walked into each and every store people were looking at me as IF I walked in naked. Seriously, I couldn't believe!!! WTF?

 

[cherylchapa]

Oh, boy can I relate to this but instead of not having a visible scar, I have a very visiable scar. Well, I'm 3 months post-op and I "finally" said,"to hell with not wearing my v-neck t-shirts as I just love them, especially in the summer..." So I went to the mall and as I walked into each and every store people were looking at me as IF I walked in naked. Seriously, I couldn't believe!!! WTF?

It does get easier but it takes time...

I have a friend who has a very large kieloid (sp?) scar from OHS on her chest. It has been there as long as she can remember and she feels it is a part of her. I will never forget the day she wore her battle scar proudly with her strapless wedding gown! She was absolutely stunning!

 

[debster913]

It does get easier but it takes time...

I have a friend who has a very large kieloid (sp?) scar from OHS on her chest. It has been there as long as she can remember and she feels it is a part of her. I will never forget the day she wore her battle scar proudly with her strapless wedding gown! She was absolutely stunning!

That's amazing!

 

[debster913]

I hear you Deb, the first time I went to my cardiologist since it was my first visit had to fill out those forms for chart. This older gentlemen was sitting in front of me and asked me if I was applying for a job as a receptionist, I replied that I was there to see the doc, then he said geez your too young to be seeing a cardiologist you must not be taking care of yourself, I couldn't believe he just said that I was really offended. The cardio was laughing when I told him that and he was saying that older people don't realise that there can be congenital heart problems. Then just like you while in the hospital I heard the same thing aren't you a bit young for this. I was the baby on the floor at the hospital. But it's all good, now that I'm all fixed.

Lise,
I hear ya too! Most of the time when I go to my cardio's office, the pharmaceutical sales reps think I'm one of them. They'll say things like, "Which drug company are you from?" I told a friend about this (she's a rep herself) and she says I should take it as a compliment since most pharm reps are attractive-looking people. That always cracks me up. Or, the older folks think I'm there waiting for my mom, grandma, etc. But I always have a good time chatting with the other patients, and heck, while I'm still "young" (almost 34) it's nice to be cooed over by the older gals.

 

[Trinityheart8891]

hey,

I hear you debi, I always get either the "so you're fixed now, arent you?" or "what did they put a stent in or something?" my scar is very visable, so I get quite a few comments, I actually had a patient ask me about my scar, and he wasnt the first one, I told him I had OHS and he gave me the whole "arent you too young?" speel, then he went into the "how many bypasses?" thing and when I told him that I had a hole in my heart he went to the "so you're fixed now, arent you?" I was kind of brushing him off while giving him just enough info so he knew that I wasnt a normal heart patient (how much of it he got, I dont know) but by the end of it I had all I could do to not roll my eyes at him, and how naieve he was, then I went and vented to my manager and we both laughed

 

[Guest]

Anyway, I know some of you out there have some pet peeves regarding your surgery, especially you youngsters who hear that "Oh, but you're so young to have heart problems!" If I had a dollar every time someone said that to me all the times I was in the hospital, I could retire!

Same here! I heard that a LOT in the 1986-1988 timeframe (before, during and after my OHS in 1987). It got very tiresome ... and sometimes, downright pitying in tone ... and I hated it.

During my 2003 surgery (when I was a bit older), I'd have people say, "I don't see how you've survived so long with that." ... or ... "You had OHS when you were a kid? No way ... you don't look like you've been through a lot at all."

Hmph ... if they ONLY KNEW!

I hate it when people still ask me, "Is your heart OK? Can you exercise/this/that/the other?" It's not like having heart surgery made me worse--it made me better!

Exactly. I get the "can you" questions ... when I talk about road trips. "Should you REALLY be going that far from home? What if something ... happens?"

Well ... frankly ... if it is my time to go, does it really matter WHERE I am???

*sighs*

I can't tell you how many times people made comments about how good I looked when my valve was failing pre-surgery. "Oh, you don't look sick. You look great!" was the normal response when my mom or I mentioned my upcoming surgery. It was after surgery when these same people would say things like, "You look so much better. You were pale before."

Oh my goodness ... THAT is aggravating. I had several people who were like that. The one that really sticks out in my mind is an older couple I met through one of the local car clubs several years ago. When they found out I had a heart condition (he asked me to help lift an old heavy/wooden desk with him, and I had to explain my limitations), they could NOT believe I had had OHS, from how good I looked, etc. Then, a year or so later, when I had to have my 2003 surgery, they both said I didn't look like I needed it. Yet, when they came to visit me at the house after I got home, BOTH of them commented on how much better I looked ... etc. *rolls eyes*





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