For the women- shirts and scar

[bbb]

Hi,

I just went through all my spring clothes and had to get rid of so many V-neck shirts. I know my choices are baring the scar, the scarf route or necklaces and that the scar will fade in time.

My scar comes up very high, just below the hollow in my neck. But for now, my question is has anyone found online any nice, high scoop neck or boat neck shells to where under other shirts? Some kind of thin material in nice colors that you could wear another V neck shirt over?

Thanks,

Betsy

 

[Karlynn]

The scar will fade in time. And/or you'll just get used to it and not give it much thought.

We've joked about it being "false cleavage" here many times.

I was very self-conscious of mine the first few years - then began looking on it as a badge of courage.

 

[Freddie]

The scar will fade in time. And/or you'll just get used to it and not give it much thought.

We've joked about it being "false cleavage" here many times.

I was very self-conscious of mine the first few years - then began looking on it as a badge of courage.

Yep, I'm starting to think the same way.

I really don't care (now) if people see my scar.
It is a "Badge of Courage".

One should be proud! Not shy. Sometimes you just have say to yourself 'it just doesn't matter" and be yourself. This is going to be my attitude for this summer - my 2nd summer since OHS - last summer doesn't count cause I was still recovering and not going very far.

Good Luck and have this summer

 

[Guest]

The top of my scar is 2 inches below the notch. Most of my blouses are v necks, button up the front. I wore one of my favorites to work last week and before leaving the house I looked in the mirror to see if it could be seen. I could see it and it upset me. Then I got a great idea, a small pin placed just above the first button was enough to conceal it. I'm going to buy several camisoles in different colors to wear underneath my v-neck blouses, some have lace, some are plain. JC Penney usually has a nice selection and if you have a Macy's or Dilliards they have nice things as well.

Some of the tunics have a v neck with material across the v (at Penneys) http://www2.jcpenney.com/jcp/Produc...efPage=SearchDepartment.aspx&Search1Prod=True
http://www2.jcpenney.com/jcp/Produc...efPage=SearchDepartment.aspx&Search1Prod=True
They also have a suitable seamless with spandex, http://www2.jcpenney.com/jcp/Produc...t.aspx&CmCatId=SearchResults&Search1Prod=True

During the summer months at home, I don't care who sees my scar, I wear t-shirts and shorts or jeans.

 

[Jkm7]

My scar after my first OHS was faint enough it didn't bother me and I wore my v-neck tops. Just having had my second OHS and the scar is along the same line, I don't know yet what it will look like when I want to start wearing swimsuits and various low cut tops/dresses. It's too early to tell. We cruise a lot and almost all of my gowns are low cut so I'm worried I won't be able to wear theml. My instinct is to go ahead and wear what I want....anyone who endures/survives two OHS in four years really puts the appearance of a scar a little further down on the 'importance list'. But still, if it heals really ugly.......Groan!

 

[hootysgirl]

My scar also comes up high and I just don't care if people can see it! I'm actually proud of my scar

 

[marie]

My scar after my first OHS was faint enough it didn't bother me and I wore my v-neck tops. Just having had my second OHS and the scar is along the same line, I don't know yet what it will look like when I want to start wearing swimsuits and various low cut tops/dresses. It's too early to tell. We cruise a lot and almost all of my gowns are low cut so I'm worried I won't be able to wear theml. My instinct is to go ahead and wear what I want....anyone who endures/survives two OHS in four years really puts the appearance of a scar a little further down on the 'importance list'. But still, if it heals really ugly.......Groan!

Wear it with pride. It saved your life.
Earline

 

[Susan BAV]

I've been fairly vocal in "squealing like a stuck pig" about my latest scar--appropriately, perhaps, since the scar was from the addition of a porcine valve ...

But recently when I met up with Harleygirl (Lorie) and Debbie, who have both more recently had their surgeries, we shared our scars. Both of them ooohed and aaahed about how nicely my scar has healed up, in comparison with their recent ones. So perhaps I'm overly sensitive to it. It has faded nicely but is shiney and a little raised. Other threads here have suggested applying a bit of mineral-based makeup over healed OHS scars.

But mine comes up pretty high also, as some have described here, and I usually try to keep it hidden. I'm just happier keeping it under cover I guess. I have occasionally caught what appeared to be a glance of sheer horror when it has been visible to others. Some people, who see scars, are just squeamish about things like that I think. I also think mine looks particularly ghastly with V-neck shirts. And I have realized too that the lighting in dressing/fitting rooms tends to exaggerate its features.

Oh well; I usually wear a lot of crew neck and mock turtleneck blouses. I guess that's just me .

 

[Jkm7]

Wear it with pride. It saved your life.
Earline

Earline....... You're right and grateful I am for those scars. Every now and then I guess I need to screw my head back straight on! In the whole scheme, who cares about the scars.

 

[aussigal]

I am also a member of the "wear it with pride" club...and have never changed what I wanted to wear because of my scar. My scar lost its redness at around 6 months. This was coincidentally about the first time it got a decent look at the sun so I am thinking a little sun could have helped it along (remember your suncream though).

 

[TinaK]

wear it with pride

wear it with pride

I have always worn my "battle scars" with a sense of pride. I have never wanted to cover up my scar even at formal outings. My second scar actually looks better than the first one, which I wore for 27 years. You will be surprised how many people do not notice it. Be proud of your scar, share your story!!
Tina

 

[sue943]

Don't throw anything out, you might feel self-conscious of it now but you will get used to it. If anything I deliberately wear tops which show it off, I prefer v-necks so most of my clothes are that style. Be proud of your battle scar, wear it with pride.

 

[Glenda]

I've never been self-conscious about my scar, of course I'm 64, what's there to be self-conscious about. I'm more put off by my weight! LOL I've had so many surgeries that I look like Zoro got a hold of me. I say wear anything that you like. Hey, you're alive and that's more important! My heart scar is way up high and there is no way I could hide it. I'm proud of it and I'm always happy to explain why it's there.

 

[kchristian]

Living with Scars

Living with Scars

This discussion is quite interesting because I recall telling my adult (23) year old daughter (who would regularly critique my appearance from time to time) that I was going to have to get rid of all of my v-neck tops and buy new ones due to the new 'scar'. Her immediate response was 'No you don't, you can wear whatever you want!' Talk about unconditional love. I gave her a great big hug. She was glad I was alive and so am I.

I regularly attend aqua aerobics and I know that most who see my scar while at the pool are interested to find out that there is life after OHS. Questions include 'how long is it?', 'when did you have it done', 'how did you find out you needed surgery' and 'you are so young'. I've even had a number of discussions with guys and gals in the jacuzzi. Most initially assume that it was bypass surgery. Of course there are lots of other people dealing with all sorts of physical therapy and surgical issues and I count my blessings each and every day for my current health and life extension.

Another encounter: I was wearing a v-neck top at Lowe's several weeks after OHS and a man who worked there saw me and said 'You've got one too!' as he tapped his chest. We started talking and compared notes. It was great to meet another survivor. We were kindred souls drawn together by a shared experience in life.

When my dad came over to visit not long after my surgery I told him that we must be related. He looked at me with a slightly odd expression. I then told him that we both now have 'the scar' and belong to the 'zipper club'. It must be in the DNA.

My scar is a mark of a major life experience. It has opened doors to talk to others in ways that were not available in the past and it is not something that I feel that I have to hide. Each person must come to their own choice in how they deal with this. Thank goodness my husband loves me regardless. The most important thing is that you love yourself - fully and completely.

 

[Marguerite53]

Hi Betsy. Well, I REALLY love Karen's response, above. I have had similar experiences. However, I also had the experience of "baring it all" with a deep cami at home (hey, I'm home) and answering the front door to a little girl scout selling cookies with her mother. The girl couldn't take her eyes off my scar, the mom hardly flinched, but did notice her looking at me. Who knows what kind of conversation they had walking down the sidewalk, then. I felt a little wierd, but it's not like the little girl went screaming with fright from the house!! Probably the mom got to have a "teachable moment" with her.

I've complained a lot about my scar here. It is improving, finally, with several acupuncture treatments. The idea is to get the blood flow increased around the area so that the hypertrophied rope can decide it can still heal. It is working at the top of the scar (best place for it to work!). OR it is just healing on it's own (I don't think so, but possible). It's expensive (but I get other things treated simultaneously.....and being in menopause.....works out great!)

I've also begun to get used to it. What has truly helped is taking that bright red shine off of it with mineral makeup. I've never worn face makeup. I'm very fair (blonde eyebrows that I never tweeze, white-blonde eyelashes) and all I'd ever used was a bit of mascara and a bit of blush. Okay. I LOVE this mineral makeup. It feels good on my face, you can apply as little or as much as you want. I can't swear by other brands, but this is what I use. You must choose a color.....fair, tan, etc.. So it might be best to not buy it online unless you are very certain you can work with a color that might be a tad off. Sephora has the best price for the starter kit which is what I suggest. I've tried concealers, and they are just too thick and oily and pasty. This mineral stuff conceals so naturally. It doesn't go away....but it takes the blaring quality off the scar. It also sounds like it might be somewhat healthy for it...and it is naturally SPF 15 which is important.

http://www.sephora.com/browse/produ...d=P116619&shouldPaginate=true&categoryId=5737

My feeling is that you know who you work for and work with. Maybe letting it peep out an inch or 2 and see what the reaction is or isn't might help you along. Since it is so "fresh" it might honestly be psychologically best for you to let it show now, since your experience is so recent. Don't put off the event or non-event of its showing. See what happens! You will find that people either ignore it, or they are curious, or they are familiar in some way and very supportive. Everyone knows what the styles are today. It's not like you're hungering for comments..... you're just wearing what everyone else wears on a daily basis. It it becomes offensive to someone, I'm sure they will pull you aside and let you know! But you can't really know until you go out there. You could always buy a neutral, lightweight jacket/top that you could throw over your v-neck shirts and button up over it if you were headed into a large group of people who might make you feel selfconscious.

I had several dressy, evening affairs over the holidays. I just couldn't bring myself to expose it. It just didn't seem like the right place (and it's tough to find pretty higher necked clothes for dressy occasions!). But I've gotten much less self conscious in the day to day. I say, tone it down and let 'er rip!!

Good luck!

Marguerite