Dr and surgery date set...now writing letters just in case.

[kimcdougc]

So I have picked my dr. Dr. Barnhart with Swedish Hospital in Seattle. Date is set for May 23, 2013 for my AVR surgery. I have had a couple of months to think about everything. So today, I sit down and write "just in case letters" to the (8) people I love the most in my life. Talk about a hard thing to do. So very emotionall. I know in my head everything will be ok. The heart is another thing. Do I give these letters before I go in for surgery or do I just let them be for "just in case?" Has anyone ever written letters or anything before surgery and given them to their loved ones. If so, what was their reaction and am I just being too morbid? I just wrote what was in my heart.

I am so thankful you are all here and share your experiences. They mean so much to me personally. I am eternally grateful for each of you. Ok no pity parties here. Just do it and get it done!

Thanks,
Kim in Seattle

 

[Freddie]

I've done it and I continue to do it every time I go on a trip....you just never know. So no, your not being too morbid.

Keep your letters and only tell one person what you've done and where they can be found, and yes, these letters are "just in case" and that's exactly what I tell my designated person.

 

[pellicle]

Kim

its a good idea to write those letters and a will too. I think of it as like an umbrella. Bring one and it won't rain.

My wife (as it happens) wrote out a will while she was waiting during my surgery. We had been talking about wills as I went in to surgery (Nov 2011) and so while she was sitting around she pulled out the laptop and wrote hers. It was actually well that she did so, as sadly it was needed less than a year later. Had she not done that then the processing of her estate here would have been hard.

When I went in for my surgery again in 2012 (the debridement surgeries) I freshened up my will and wrote those letters to my good friends here.

They remain in my desk, as yet uneeded.

 

[Jkm7]

It is not an unusual thing to write such letters. They are almost never needed but I think the emotional experience of thinking individually of those we love the most and putting it in writing is a healthy thing to do prior to surgery. It certainly gives you all the reason you need to struggle for a full and speedy recovery. There are people you don't want to leave behind.

But seeing you asked...... I would put them in a place they would be found should the worst happen but personally, I would not hand them around prior to surgery. You may think about it after surgery and decide to give them to your loved ones after you have not only survived but are doing great.

JMO.....

You'll do fine. This is actually a far safer surgery than many others we think of as 'lesser'. Yes, certainly it is very serious but these cardiothoracic surgeons are so very good at what they do and their staffs are so trained to take care of us post op, the huge odds are far in our favor.

Think positive. It really does make a difference.

 

[kimcdougc]

Thanks for all your positive input. Good to know I am not being morbid! Have all the estate and health papers in order since last fall. Got all the bills on auto pay for my husband. Even got a new "chair lift" to help with the recovery. I am 99% a positive person. Just got a little sappy yesterday writing all those letters. God is in control. I think it is kind of awesome that most people feel at peace going into surgery. All the waiting is over then. Waiting is totally the pits.

Pellicle - I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. I can't imagine your pain. I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[Jkm7]

You shouldn't need a chair lift. Assuming your legs are well and hold you fine now, they will get you out of your chair post op. I used common sense in the first weeks post op and did not 'sink' into a deep chair. Sit in a reasonable seat and you will be fine getting up.

 

[kimcdougc]

You shouldn't need a chair lift. Assuming your legs are well and hold you fine now, they will get you out of your chair post op. I used common sense in the first weeks post op and did not 'sink' into a deep chair. Sit in a reasonable seat and you will be fine getting up.

Jkm7,

Got the chair "just in case". It is on the other side of the room. The only fear I have is with my current recliner you have to push with your hands to get it to go up and down. I hear you aren't suppose to do that. It doesn't have a handle on the side. The "lift chair" is pretty to look at and I won't use it if I don't need it. Thanks for your input.

 

[Rebecca]

Here are a few changes I made to my house. When I arrived home from eight nights in the hospital I sent my daughter out to buy a bench for the tub so I could sit to shave my legs. I put a chair next to the bed so my dog would not jump up on to the bed or me. The chair also was good to hold on to so I could get up from the bed. I put a dining room chair cushion on the kitchen chair so it would be higher. In the living room we put a computer chair that had arms sides and it could be raise to a highest level. In our basement my children still had a foam chair that could be unfolded to make a bed. We put it unfolded on our sofa to make it higher. My first nights at home I slept in the guest room on the main level of our house. My first night home I spent thirty minutes getting the four pillows always from my head and then when I was lying flat on my back and I couldn’t move and I used my cell phone to call my husband to come downstairs and help me sit up. I spent the first two nights at home sleeping on the sofa. In the middle of the night I drop a pill on the kitchen floor and I didn’t want to awake my husband so I dragged a kitchen chair over to where I drop the pill and sat in the chair and used the barbeque tongs to pick up the pill. We had a dog so I did not want to leave the pill on the floor. The barbeque tongs work great if you drop anything on the floor.

 

[kimcdougc]

Thanks for the good ideas Rebecca!

 

[sood]

Kim my prayers are with you! I've thought about the letters long and hard and still haven't wrote them. I think your post gave me motivation to write them the next couple days.

 

[kimcdougc]

Kim my prayers are with you! I've thought about the letters long and hard and still haven't wrote them. I think your post gave me motivation to write them the next couple days.

Thanks Sood,

I have to say after writing the letters it gives me a little peace. Do expect to get a little teary eyed when you do it. Thinking of what you want to say to each individual is taking a look at your history with each one and what you have experienced and looking into the future if you are not there (although you will be here!) what you wish for each of them. Had a pity party but so glad I did it. I will be praying for you surgery on the 3rd that God will wrap his arms around you and the Drs. doing your surgery. When you are up to it, or if your family can, post how it goes. God's blessings to you.

 

[sood]

Thanks a lot Kim. I will be praying for you as well. Believe it or not I feel like OHS is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I appreciate life so much more now, I hear birds chirp, I see leaves falling. I'm just more present and living the moment than ever before.

All will be well soon for the both of us God willing. I'll tell my wife to post afterward.

Thanks Sood,

I have to say after writing the letters it gives me a little peace. Do expect to get a little teary eyed when you do it. Thinking of what you want to say to each individual is taking a look at your history with each one and what you have experienced and looking into the future if you are not there (although you will be here!) what you wish for each of them. Had a pity party but so glad I did it. I will be praying for you surgery on the 3rd that God will wrap his arms around you and the Drs. doing your surgery. When you are up to it, or if your family can, post how it goes. God's blessings to you.

 

[Rebecca]

Hi Kim and Sood,
I will say a prayer for each of you to have a safe and speedy recovery. Tell your surgeon what plan A is and have a backup plan B.
When I woke up after surgery I still had the breathing tube in and I was totally at peace and felt no pain. Just breathe with the breathing tube. I do not remember having it removed. I do remember being really thirsty and using my hands to try to tell my family that I wanted something to drink. I guess at the time I didn’t realize that I couldn’t have anything to drink because of the breathing tube. The ice chips tasted great after surgery in the recovery room after the breathing tube was removed. I was lucky because when my chest wire or drainage tubes were removed I had no pain. The bad part is the many blood draws and the finger picks. When I was in the hospital early one morning I told one person that she could not have any more of my blood and to leave me alone. My poor body was full of black and blue marks.
I love this song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-4qZ0Vx36g

 

[kimcdougc]

Thanks Rebecca. I am not looking forward to them taking so much blood as they already have a hard enough time just finding my veins. They are deep. Hope I am coherent enough to remember to breath with the breathing tube. Or better yet, don't remember it at all! Thanks for the prayers. They are totally appreciated.