Anxiety

[Nocturne]

I'm feeling very anxious today. I know that a good deal of this is probably hormonal -- guys with T issues are notoriously anxious, as is well understood on the low T forum I frequent. And I know in my head that for me, the anxiety tends to fade as the day goes on (by evening I'm often left wondering what the Hell I was thinking when I woke up).

It's especially difficult, of course, when you know you have some real heart issues and can't just tell yourself that "there's nothing to worry about". I know damn well that there IS. The best I can do is tell myself that worrying is a waste of time. Am I going to hold my breath and not relax until I'm 80 and know I can't die young? Or maybe waste my remaining 20 years stressing about the 20 years I should have had, but won't get? Both of those things are stupid.

I know all of you know the stress of worry and anxiety. At least I assume you do. What do you do to deal with it?

I don't think I have much experience with it. I would say that I was extremely calm and easygoing until maybe 5 years ago, when I suspect the T issues started to creep into my life -- and even then I didn't stress that much until maybe a year and a half ago when things got really bad.

 

[pellicle]

I'm feeling very anxious today. .... What do you do to deal with it?

try and do things. I found working on my house focused me on just those things. Planning the stuff, buying the stuff, cutting it to fit, and fitting it.

evenings are always the worst.

PS: icecream

 

[Nocturne]

LOL ice cream is poison for my damaged heart, I think. With a CAC score like mine, at my age... Regrettably, no.

HOWEVER, I do have a little local protein shake place I go to now and then, that I always seem to feel better after visiting. It's as close to ice cream as I allow myself these days.

You are right, I think, that keeping busy helps.

Odd about the evenings though. For me, evenings are almost always better. Especially after my allotted glass of red wine.

 

[Trinalovescats]

I know it sounds cliche but stop worrying.Your here for a reason,find a way to appreciate it.

learn a new skill,don't sit around either ithinking the worst thoughts.

 

[LondonAndy]

I know all of you know the stress of worry and anxiety. At least I assume you do. What do you do to deal with it?
.

I find sex a good cure for stress. Some positions are not ideal when in the waiting room, but there are ways :Face-Devilish:

 

[Superman]

Some positions are not ideal when in the waiting room, ...

Plus the other people in the waiting room might find it a bit awkward.

 

[pellicle]

Plus the other people in the waiting room might find it a bit awkward.

what ... getting the right spot for the camera?

 

[Mellyouttaphase]

I deal with anxiety by listening to music (big metal fan actually), writing in my journal (just creative musings for me not necessarily "dear diary" type stuff), getting outdoors where I can breathe preferably near a body of water, and good old fashioned talking - which you have just done.

I think it helps that you have recognised it and especially at what time of the day it is the worst - this should help remind you that it will ease somewhat so just rely on the passage of time to do it's thing whilst you distract yourself as best possible!

Worry is the biggest waste of imagination. Make awesome plans in the near distant future so you have something exciting to look forward to (I love a good countdown!)

 

[jwinter]

I am able to deal with it most days but some better than others. Keeping busy and a good sense of humor does help. I am reading a book on meditation right now but find it a little boring and not sure I am cut out for just sitting and "being" It is hard to shut everything off for me. I am not really religious but spiritual and find some comfort in knowing that all of this is wayyyyy to much for me (and most others) to carry alone so I have done all the tests, listened to the doctors, and will give the rest to God to guide the surgeon. We just have to face our mortality head on and know that none of us is getting out alive.
Oh, and now when anyone that knows me asks how I am doing I tell them "They think I may have a problem with my heart valve" and then..........we laugh!
Be extra good to yourself and come here often. We understand totally how you feel.

 

[Zoltania]

I agree with pellicle's advice to "try and do things." Distraction works the best for me -- anything that occupies my mind and redirects it from anxious thoughts is helpful.

Meditation has been useful too. I took a class on Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), and the instructor pointed out that it's hard for anyone to "shut everything off" as jwinter said. Everyone's mind wanders like crazy when they try to meditate. The class teaches you that you can catch your mind wandering and bring it back, over and over again, and thereby learn that you are not the helpless victim of where your mind chooses to wander. You have some control -- not perfect control, but some. This then becomes useful in daily life when you notice your mind wandering to anxious or obsessive thoughts. You can recognize them, acknowledge them, and then move on to the next thought.

When I was healing I also used guided meditation/imagery recordings, and some phrases from one were especially nice. The speaker said something like, "Let all of those emotions that are rocking around in there flow out with the breath, so that, for just a moment, your mind is empty. For just a split second, it is free and clear space, and you are blessed with stillness." Even a split second of stillness feels good when anxiety is troublesome.

 

[Trinalovescats]

Stop watching election coverage!

take a walk
Listen to waves
Read a book

 

[epstns]

Nocturne, I must be in a different hemisphere from you. For me, when anxiety rears up its ugly head it is usually at night, impairing my night's sleep. Very frustrating. When it pops up during the day, though, I find that taking long walks helps me to "re-center" my thinking. When things get really rough, I've been known to go out 2 or 3 times in a day, for a total of 6-7 miles. I feel better, and it helps with weight control.

BTW - I'm going to try to PM you with some stuff, too.

 

[Nocturne]

Thanks everyone. I have read and am taking notes. Still feeling a bit twitchy this morning -- it's weird because there are other times when I feel pretty normal. I acquired so many medical conditions in such a short time that it's difficult to say what causes what.

Sex should indeed be a great source of stress relief and it generally is, but due to the blessing of ED brought on by (Low T? Atherosclerosis? Stress? I got 'em all in spades...) there is always some stress associated with it, as well. Much less now than a year ago, as it has actually been over a year since things flat out didn't work, but the memory of that time lingers on and I tend to stress about every little thing I notice about my response and ability that deviates from how I was in my 20s and 30s. This is in fact what I was dealing with and freaking out about when I lost 25% of my body mass, just before learning that oh, by the way, you also have heart disease (enjoy!).

I have to laugh a little when I think that while none of these issues are pleasant to deal with, if they had held off until I was 60 or so, I would not have been anywhere near as stressed about them as I am. My CAC score is a bit high for a 60 year old but not overly much, degenerative AS is something that often shows up in your 60s, lifespan after AVR in your 60s is actually pretty damn close to normal if not normal, etc. I accept old age and death as a part of life, but in these cases they are out of their assigned spot, and not in a good way.

As for the election -- I haven't been paying any attention to that crap at all. We'll elect one crook or another, same as always.

 

[cldlhd]

I agree with the keeping busy mode. I was just thinking about this yesterday. I was digging in the side of my house then putting down a crushed stone base for a small paver patio I'm putting in. When I finished -around 630 - I say down at the entrance to my shed, cracked open a beer and thought about how the concentrating on the job at hand combined with the hard physical work didn't leave room for thought about much else. Layer, after a good long shoes and dinner , I read a book and let the physical exhaustion take care of the rest.
P.S. I did have a small bowl of ice cream before I hit the sack.

 

[Nocturne]

I do find that when I am distracted by little projects, I feel better -- or maybe it is that when I feel better, I am able to be distracted by little projects. ???

 

[pellicle]

P.S. I did have a small bowl of ice cream before I hit the sack.

Cruel, very cruel....

 

[cldlhd]

My cholesterol numbers came back good from my recent physical and while I might not seek it out of she buys it I'll eat it.

 

[Paleowoman]

Nocturne, I must be in a different hemisphere from you. For me, when anxiety rears up its ugly head it is usually at night, impairing my night's sleep. Very frustrating.

Like you Steve, the times when I feel most anxious about things is in the middle of the night. In the night things seem to get completely skewed in my mind and I think the most awful catastrophies ! At that point I find it best to go downstairs and make myself a small cup of decaff tea which I then take back to bed and have. That nearly always seems to do the trick - seems to "change the slide" as a guru once advised me. In the day time, if I do get anxious I can go for a walk, do some weights, talk it over, that helps, or even immersing myself into some research on what I'm feeling anxious about, or putting it all down on paper, or writing a letter about it even if I never send it. But anxiety in the day time is never as "catastrophic" or irrational for me as at night time !

 

[Nocturne]

Interesting. Prior to this mess, I have only dealt with anxiety for more than a day or so (with good reason for its existence) twice. Once when I was going through a divorce (which is understandable, especially considering the fact that I was a new father to my first child at the time), and again about five years ago when I had the most awful classes I have ever had (I was "assaulted" by students three times that year, never more than being shoved or grabbed but still... And one student threatened to shoot me with a Glock... and almost every class I had consisted of kids who were only there because truancy judges were forcing them to come to school, so they would come and then act out individually or in concert for the entire period -- I was mentally shattered by the end of the year and very nearly quit -- my job that year was not unlike standing on stage to be pelted with rotten fruit by angry hooligans). That same year my school went into "transformation" due to political nonsense and among other things we lost a great principal... I shouldn't get started on THAT.

But both of those times, I knew that things would eventually get better. I know that no one is ever going to tell me that I am "cured" of anything I have developed over the last year or so, so the methods I used to use to cope aren't going to help me here, not as much.

Think I'm going to hit that protein shake place after work...

 

[Nocturne]

I should say -- ALL of my worries when I was getting divorced ended up being alleviated, as my son is with me full time, is healthy and well adjusted, and I met the most wonderful woman I could have hoped to have met, who I have shared 14 years with and had three more children with. It is true that I have many blessings in my life, and she is chief among them. I want to be alive and useful to her for as long as I can be... Which is another thing to worry about, of course, but where would I be without her?