Update on my mother...and father...

[weekycat]

I posted a while ago, about my 79yo mother's aortic aneurysm. She recently had an echo, and according to that, she's at 4.9cm right now. Her doctor is now sending both her AND my father to the Mayo Clinic for a consult with Dr. Lyle Joyce, on Monday afternoon.

My dad was supposed to have multiple bypass surgery last summer, but because of other problems, (he's been on coumadin for years because of A-fib, and something about having very small veins I think??), his cardiologist and surgeon could not agree as to whether that was the best option for him at the time.

Anyway, their GP is now sending them both to the Mayo to get checked out. I'm glad they're going and hope they get some definitive answers there. Mom says dad (age 78) is "perfectly capable" of driving them down there. It's probably about a 3 hour drive. I would kind of like to go along, just to be there for them, and some of my siblings have expressed interest in going as well. Mom said that was fine, but she thinks Dad would just as soon we didn't go.

Does anyone have any experience with Dr. Joyce, and do you think they need someone else to be there with them, even though they have each other? Thanks!

 

[Greg a]

I know that I too would want to be there and completely informed about what is going on as I dont know the dynaimcs I am going to refrain from further comment. In our family there are just the two of us my older sister and myself she is kept very busy with my 94 year old aunt and I try to keep up with my 92 year old mother so we have our hands full.

 

[Jkm7]

It will be a lot for a couple of any age to digest all the information they will get about each of their conditions.
I think it a great idea for one of their adult children to accompany them just to be sure of understanding all they are told. It's likely they are 'being brave' but would welcome the support of one of the 'kids'.

Best wishes. It's a lot to cope with.

 

[catwoman]

Jeannie:

Definitely -- someone should go there with them. A recent Consumer Reports magazine article about what doctors wished their patients knew/did stated that (I think 80%) a great percentage of doctors interviewed for the article said it's advisable to take another person with you to doctor appointments.

My dad is 82 & has moderate Alzheimer's, glaucoma and pulmonary fibrosis. My mom is 84. My dad can still drive (with someone), but he does appreciate my sisters & I to his medical appointments and being in the room with him. My mother thinks her health is a big, dark secret and does NOT want us there. She's learned the hard way that she's very wrong on that. (She had 3 trips to hospital ERs in December because she was hiding her health issues, and spent one week in the hospital for a very seious urinary tract infection and about 10-12 days in rehab after that because she was so debilitated).

So we go with them and we're there to ask the doctor questions. After all, we're not the patient, we won't get shell-shocked over bad news like the patient will.
I took my dad to his neurologist's PA on Feb. 22 and to his glaucoma specialist on March 18. Will taken him for rechecks with each on Aug. 23 (eye doc in the AM, neuro in the PM). I tell my mom what the specialists said, any need or change in the meds, and then call & e-mail my 2 sisters about the appointments. We put the upcoming appointments on my dad's calendar.
I'm able to take sick time for my dad's appointments.

My youngest sister lives several hours from my parents' home. I live about 70 miles away. Middle sister lives with the parents, but she already does so much for them.

So ... I would definitely suggest you or one of your siblings going with your parents.

 

[Guest]

Hey Jeannie,

Thoughts/prayers en route.....



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[weekycat]

Thanks everyone,
I decided to just leave it up to my parents, and my mother called me today to say that though they appreciated my offer, they were going to go down by themselves. They had been talking to several other people, who mentioned the possibility of either one or both of them being kept at least overnight, for further testing or whatever. They're worried that I'll be stuck down there, if that happens.

I'm not too worried about them, despite their age, they are both very mentally alert...you don't even want to TRY to debate my mother on any issue that is important to her... and both drive without any problems at all. In fact, during the last snowstorm we had here in Minnesota, my dad put his plow dump truck in the ditch...and Mom towed it out for him with his 4x4 F250. I'm sure it never occurred to them to call anyone else for help.

They will have each other...I'm just thinking it might be a bit overwhelming with BOTH of them and their very different, yet very serious heart issues. I'm going to tell Mom to bring a notebook and a pen, she can even take shorthand if she wants to! If either, or both of them end up having surgery, I'm sure most of their 9 children and our families will be there for them. Anyway, at this point I will just stay here and pray...and would appreciate your prayers as well. Thank you.

 

[Lynlw]

Hi Jeanie, It sounds like that is what your parents want, so I'm glad you aren't pushing. I didn't say anything earlier, but I was thinking when my Mom was alive, They really preferred to go to doctors w/ just each others etc.(and they were always worried about being a bother, even tho it wouldn't have been.
Even tho it was hard to take a step back (since i'm a slight control freak lol) I did what they wanted. I'll keep your parents AND all 9 children in my prayers, everything goes well and they BOTH get good news.