Jennie
Well-known member
Hi Folks!
Today is six months since my surgery, and I am celebrating!! To everyone who reads this, I hand you a (virtual) chocolate cigar wrapped in hot-pink foil that says "I'M ALIVE!!" I am so glad to have this mess behind me, and still amazed to see how God took me through this crazy deal and shot me out the other side in one piece.
In some ways it seems like it never happened, it is almost surreal, I think back to that day and wonder, did I really get on that table?? How did I ever have the strength to do that?? In other ways, it still colors my life. If a conversation at any point requires reflection on this past year, I will just about start crying and all I can say is "it's just been a very hard year...." And people look at me like they've just encountered a whack case, and I wonder, will I ever be able to get through a day without thinking about it in some aspect or getting worked up when I talk about it?
Anyway, I'm doing pretty good. Still dealing with the blues occasionally, despite being on Happy Pills. Had a small Personal Energy Crisis (nothing like the one in July!) last week when I was on vacation - I slept ten to twelve hours a night and then took an afternoon nap on top of that!! I think this was just catching up from normal lack of sleep, plus being on an ACE Inhib and a Happy Pill. Finally got to see my osteopath to get rid of some of that back pain, though the rib pain still pops up every now and then. Scar is not as pretty as I had hoped, and I have some wires sticking up - not hurting - so I wonder whether I should get them removed and risk having a nastier-looking or higher-up scar? My four month echo showed my MITRAL valve now has a moderate leak, which is a bit worrying. And, finally, I was hoping to get off the ACE Inhibitor but my cardio feels I should stay on it for life, to protect the valve.
But, these all are part and parcel of the Heart Patient scene, it is never really over, is it, you just move into a different stage. And I am grateful to still be around. It blows my mind to think, technically, I have a transplant in me, and that I am operating in the realm of Borrowed Time. I see all these threads about emotions, and all I can say is, if you had your chest cracked open, heart and lungs stopped, in danger of stroke, and now have someone else's body part (or a man-made device, as the case may be) inside you, and in a few years' time you would have been in the realm of CHF on your way out the door - anybody who is not emotionally overwhelmed by that - I don't know what to say.
Me - not know what to say??!! I am rambling again, waxing philosphical!! So just eat your cigar and enjoy your day to the fullest!!
And my congrats to Johnny on his six-month and Rosso on his three-month!!
-JEnnie
Today is six months since my surgery, and I am celebrating!! To everyone who reads this, I hand you a (virtual) chocolate cigar wrapped in hot-pink foil that says "I'M ALIVE!!" I am so glad to have this mess behind me, and still amazed to see how God took me through this crazy deal and shot me out the other side in one piece.
In some ways it seems like it never happened, it is almost surreal, I think back to that day and wonder, did I really get on that table?? How did I ever have the strength to do that?? In other ways, it still colors my life. If a conversation at any point requires reflection on this past year, I will just about start crying and all I can say is "it's just been a very hard year...." And people look at me like they've just encountered a whack case, and I wonder, will I ever be able to get through a day without thinking about it in some aspect or getting worked up when I talk about it?
Anyway, I'm doing pretty good. Still dealing with the blues occasionally, despite being on Happy Pills. Had a small Personal Energy Crisis (nothing like the one in July!) last week when I was on vacation - I slept ten to twelve hours a night and then took an afternoon nap on top of that!! I think this was just catching up from normal lack of sleep, plus being on an ACE Inhib and a Happy Pill. Finally got to see my osteopath to get rid of some of that back pain, though the rib pain still pops up every now and then. Scar is not as pretty as I had hoped, and I have some wires sticking up - not hurting - so I wonder whether I should get them removed and risk having a nastier-looking or higher-up scar? My four month echo showed my MITRAL valve now has a moderate leak, which is a bit worrying. And, finally, I was hoping to get off the ACE Inhibitor but my cardio feels I should stay on it for life, to protect the valve.
But, these all are part and parcel of the Heart Patient scene, it is never really over, is it, you just move into a different stage. And I am grateful to still be around. It blows my mind to think, technically, I have a transplant in me, and that I am operating in the realm of Borrowed Time. I see all these threads about emotions, and all I can say is, if you had your chest cracked open, heart and lungs stopped, in danger of stroke, and now have someone else's body part (or a man-made device, as the case may be) inside you, and in a few years' time you would have been in the realm of CHF on your way out the door - anybody who is not emotionally overwhelmed by that - I don't know what to say.
Me - not know what to say??!! I am rambling again, waxing philosphical!! So just eat your cigar and enjoy your day to the fullest!!
And my congrats to Johnny on his six-month and Rosso on his three-month!!
-JEnnie
