PMs Vs open forum discussions

[Karlynn]

Oh yes, I remember anger. Mike, I was 26 when I started having major valve issues. I was pregnant with my daughter. My sister-in-law, who is more a sister to me than an in-law, caught me at a bad time. My daughter was by then a year old, my son 3. I felt like @$%^#. Felt like the world's worst mother. Felt totally cheated. Thinking she was going to make me feel better she said "God has a plan for you with this." I took it as her saying God was causing this to happen. So totally out of character for me, I let her have it. "God isn't making this happen. You're trying to tell me that God wants me to not be able to care for my children. God plans for me to feel like hell 24 hours a day..." It wasn't pretty. I apologized later. But it did take a few years for me to see that there were special gifts that only hard times can give you.

Nancy, you're right (as usual ). If VR was around at that time of my life - I have no doubts that some of that anger would have come out here.

Then I take a look at our valve parents....that's humbling.

 

[Turkey Hunter]

You know, no one ever talks about the anger at just having to cope with a bad heart and valve surgery. I think there is a lot of pent up emotions with being in a position of compromised health.

Maybe some of what we find in these threads is an element of that disguised anger.

Let's face it, having to have valve surgery at all, really, really stinks!

This subject would actually make a great thread.

I have many, many stories on the anger I went through when I was faced with all of the reality. (I still deal with it at times, especially around my RP anniversary.)

Not only anger, but burning contempt at the time of preceeding the surgery. Was very hard to get past, but I did it with the help of some here, and of course God !!

Every year when my anniversary rolls around, I am not usually the funnest fellow to be around, the memories of everything come back, and I just want to be left alone. Not that I am ever mean, just want let be !! I hope I am not the only one to feel this way.

But to clarify, I still celebrate my Rp anniversary more so than my birthday or Cindy and I's wedding anniversary.

This sounds weird when I re-read it. I hope it makes sense to soemone other tthan me. It is a hard time of the year. But we continue to celebrate, and always will. It was the first day of the rest of my life, and I have had a very different outlook on life ever since. A better one overall.

Ben

 

[tobagotwo]

Of course it makes sense to us, Ben. Look where you are...

 

[Guest]

...and I was one of those babies without a clue.

It's actually kind of scary now thinking about how I had no clue "back then"....


Sure glad this thread has gotten friendlier ... I just hope newbies take the time to read the entire thread ... before giving up and moving on....



Cort, "Mr MC" / "Mr Road Trip", 32swm/pig valve/pacemaker
MC:family.IL.guide.future = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/
chdQB = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/quilt.html
"I argue with my conscience" ... Charlie Pride ... 'Shouldn't It Be Easier Than This?'

 

[maka]

PMs and et al

PMs and et al

I?ve read every posting and as usual I?m hesitant to post my ?two cents?. I always feel inadequate posting as all of you know so much about the subject and I have so little to contribute.
I believe the forum is most valuable. I found it shortly after my operation and many of the topics discussed here have given me peace of mind to find out I was not the only one and many of my symptoms were ?normal? . The ?scar pictures? were invaluable as I thought mine was horrible just to find out that most are about the same... . The PMs have o a place also. I remember posting a question for which I received no answers and was very disappointed as I?ve noted how long the threads can be. And then I received a PM from Karen (THANK YOU). Apparently it was a question asked many times before, (but it was new to me) and the PM was full with information and reassurance and it made me feel very good. I also received e-mails and PMs from Ros (didn?t know who he was and how important.. ) when I was trying to get registered and had no idea how to go about it...THANKS. It is very hard and scaring to think about someone cracking our sternum, holding our heart in his hand, and sewing a foreign object inside. I knew little about valves but I did not feel comfortable having to be on medication for the rest of my life (sorry ..not everyone reacts the same ) and told the surgeon I preferred non-mechanical. I guess I was so intense that he did quite a job in trying to repair it.....which he did. I did not know that repairs could fail!!!! till I read it here.......But I trust that God will be kind and will last.
Words sometimes come out differently of what we mean and try to say and we interpret them according to our own perspective, experiences, culture and even complexes; however, I truly believe that everyone here is honest and want the best for the rest

 

[Rain]

My number one ?angry getter? is probably rude and obnoxious people.

My number one ?angry getter? is probably rude and obnoxious people.

I?ve had my share of health problems, but have never felt ?angry? about them. I admittedly have been quite frustrated with coumadin at times. But that doesn?t even get me ?angry?...... more like 'overwhelmed'.

 

[Turkey Hunter]

Of course it makes sense to us, Ben. Look where you are...

I know & thank you Bob, it just is so hard for others to understand the extent of the overwhelming feelings that can just creep up on you at any time. It can be very hard for me to admit......for those of you that know me, this is easy to understand. hehehe

Again, Maybe a thread about the fears, emotions, anger, and joy we have been through would be something good for all of the folks that are just arriving or have been lurkijng for some time.

What do ya think?

Ben

 

[Granbonny]

Ben

Ben

Nancy did start one..under Heart talk.. Anger and Sadness...Bonnie