Minor AS and finding a partner

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vitdoc

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 16, 2017
Messages
74
Location
Southern Ca.
At the risk of sounding insensitive you sound like you have significantly more issues than mild AS and being on a beta blocker. First mild AS is not a big deal. You may or may not get to the point were it is an issue and if that happens it can be fixed. Secondly, beta blockers generally slow the heart rate and decrease the force fullness of the heart's contraction. You may or may not really need these drugs if your AS is modest. Furthermore since this condition is not very serious at this stage and should have little effect on you I don't think it should be a conversation piece with your dates. I think your understanding of this problem is inaccurate. Maybe a good discussion with a good cardiologist would be useful.
 

pellicle

Professional Dingbat
Joined
Nov 4, 2012
Messages
6,668
Location
Queensland, OzTrayLeeYa
Yes, often it is.
but the trick is to not just sit there and stare at that and go: this is now my life.

The trick is to understand that it is your apprehension of this that makes it so.


You can not force life to give you what you demand, the only way forward is to see that happiness is a choice and you can always find things in life to derive happiness from.

I know many men who "seek love" in Asian countries and instead usually find actresses who rob them of what they have ... still they go back. What they have not discovered is that love is something which grows between people in a well managed relationship; its an outcome, not something you find.
 

newarrior

Have mild AS live in Thailand
Joined
Jun 29, 2019
Messages
59
Location
Bangkok, Thailand
So sorry about your son's health issue. He will be fine with his friends. Just keep making sure he knows he does not need to have marriage and kids to have a relationship with a woman. And he has nothing to prove to anyone that he can marry. He is fine and he will eventually find the special person someday. Hugs for you both.
There's no guarantee any of us will find a "special person" or will ever get married or fall in love...It seems the secret to living is to expect nothing and be suprised and grateful at the good that comes our way
 

pellicle

Professional Dingbat
Joined
Nov 4, 2012
Messages
6,668
Location
Queensland, OzTrayLeeYa
There's no guarantee any of us will find a "special person" or will ever get married or fall in love...
agreed ... or meet them, be very happy together and then unexpctedly death parts you ...

It seems the secret to living is to expect nothing and be suprised and grateful at the good that comes our way
I'm not sure if you watched that Shawshank redemption based video on Stoic philosophy I linked to above, but it has many ideas that are exactly in that direction. Great quidance from Marcus Aurelius and Seneca (and embellished by the author), for instance:

We can enjoy a cold drink in the sun if we do not at the same time wish for the moment never to pass.
True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears, but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing.
The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach.
A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.

887267


If you have not taken the time to listen to it I recommend you should. Stoicism is not a religion, nobody leads you ... its a path that you choose to walk yourself.

887266


I can assure you that its not easy being content with your lot when you've lost everything you valued, when you can look at a time and say "well it never gets better than then", but like that drink in the sun for those prisoners it brings no happiness to wish for it to never have ended. It ends for us all, happiness can be found right here right now if you choose to feel it.
 

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