Life can be really unfair ... epilepsy ...

[Allisoninoz]

So, 16 months since my Ross Procedure yesterday. Life is going along swimmingly. Family is well and healthy, I'm exercising, work is good.
I am putting up with the fact that I have 'mild', well-controlled epilepsy as well as my heart issues. I have occasional 'absences' where I zone out, but I always have an 'aura' beforehand. They always tend to happen when I'm at home relaxing etc, sometimes in conversation, but never in a risky situation. I'm allowed to drive...
Then, on Wednesday afternoon, with my beautiful daughter in the back seat (thank God), I'm driving home from school, and turning a corner in a suburban street. Next thing I know I'm on the nature strip, about a metre from a tree. I'm completely out of it. My daughter is crying, asking what's happened. Somehow, I've crossed the road, sideswiped a fence, and, although I'm 'out of it', I've still managed to brake and turn off the engine. Kind people help us, I call my husband when I'm back 'with it', assure him we're all right but the car's a mess.
We are a mess emotionally but we are ok ... mild whiplash only. Incredible.
The police have to make a report, of course, to the driving authorities. Now I have to see my neurologist, and I'll probably not be allowed to drive again ... but do I want to anyway, given I could have killed my gorgeous girl or somebody else walking along the footpath? I feel absolutely sick about the whole incident; can't believe it happened; and can't fathom how life can be so unfair that I cop three heart surgeries and epilepsy and have this happen.
What have I ever done wrong in my life?
I'm trying to think positively that we weren't hurt, or worse, but I keep coming back to wondering how on earth I'm going to manage life's practicalities without driving?
Does anybody out there not drive or have epilepsy? I feel like I'm the only person.

 

[Julian]

You are not the only person! May not be many people that have epilepsy on this forum but I'm sure there are epilepsy forums galore elsewhere. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Keep trying to be positive about things like your doing. Driving suspension may just be temporary. Even if it were to become permanent there is a way to handle life responsibilities without a car, may not be easy at first but there is a way. This may be a "pie in the sky" idea but even without a license you can become more "successful" in life than you have ever been. Who knows what creative business ideas you may have brewing in your mind. An event like this which seems like such a curse can turn out to be the greatest epiphany you've ever had if you allow to. I know its easier said than done. Please keep us posted.

 

[TheGymGuy]

I second what Julian said. When something is taken away from us, things generally manifest in their place.

I know a person that works from home and does photography for babies, etc. They have a little home studio and work from there most of the time. They were one of the happiest people I have met.

 

[escargome]

Well Allison, isn't that just a kick in the pants and it truly sucks. Now, since I know you like to dabble in writing, possibly now is the time to take it up full time from home. When a door closes a window always opens. i will keep you in my prayers and I have to say that at least Sophie and you are both OK and no one was hurt. Have faith, something good will come of this.

 

[normofthenorth]

Alison, your epilepsy and driving challenges do suck, but I'm guessing that much of the rest of your life is way easier, happier, better, and safer than many billions of our fellow humans on this planet. Heck, I think I know some people who would consider it "really unfair" that you got your amazing smile and your delightful daughter, and they didn't! I know it's a tough time to be grateful for your blessings, but I'd recommend giving it a try.

I know there's a big difference between your epilepsy and my migraines, but they both usually start with an aura, and they both started out "well-behaved", in the sense that they came when we could deal with them. In my case, when my migraines first started coming at BAD times, it was soon afterwards that I started outgrowing them completely. (For decades now, I've gotten occasional auras, but no migraines.) It's possible that your neurological challenge will follow a similar pattern to mine -- I'm sure we both hope so. Also, I don't know how hard your Docs have tried to control your seizures with medications, but they may well try harder (and we hope more successfully) now that the "absences" have apparently become more serious.

 

[ElectLive]

Allison - I can kind of relate to a part of this. I've been diabetic since age 8 and for 27 years I thought it was my "thing"...my medical hurdle that nearly everyone has in some form at some point in time, although usually later in life. My BAV was diagnosed at birth too, though, but other than a boring echo every year, BAV was a piece of cake for me throughout childhood and early adulthood. Then my aneurysm sprung up at age 35, I needed surgery, and yes, I had that thought: wait a second...I thought being diabetic was my "thing"! Now this too! Shouldn't I at least get to trade one in for the other or something? :smile2:

Of course you are wondering how on earth you can get by without driving...it's perfectly natural. Maybe that will be your only option, or maybe it won't, maybe, hopefully, your condition might be treated more successfully. Should driving no longer be an option, though, I would bet that one day, after you've made it through this hurdle, you will wake up and wonder how on earth you ever thought that you couldn't have a perfectly happy life without a car. For what it's worth, I have a family member who has been blind since early adulthood so that is why I'm pretty confident about what I say.

You know, there are millions and millions of dollars of "live-work-play" construction projects going up here in Atlanta. There are a lot of people who just don't want to drive, and they are moving to these places like crazy. I know you'd like a choice about all of this, but just because you don't have a choice doesn't mean you are necessarily limited. You never know, you might just find something even better. And guess what the most important thing kids want to do when they get older...drive cars! :thumbup:

Best wishes to you and your family. There were a lot of great thoughts above...and I would also think you should be able to find an Epilepsy community much like ours for further input and advice.

 

[Roberta]

Alison,

You have received some wonderful and insightful responses. Just want you to know that I am thinking of you through this challenge and know that you will get through this. Hugs....

 

[Bina]

Holy crap, that is one heck of a warning that you got and lived through. Being a non-driver will just be something that you will need to
work into your daily/weekly planning.

 

[Guest]

Aye, Allison ... very sorry about the incident, but glad YOU are OK ... and alive to still be able to take measures in the future.

Thoughts/prayers en route....



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