Insomnia, Stress and Anxiety

[Richard Devine]

My father passed away from lung cancer three weeks ago. It was a horrific disturbing experience, and since then I haven't been able to fall asleep. I have been having these strange episodes of panic stop breathing while trying to fall asleep. Has anyone here experienced this? Is it heart related? I have been monitoring my blood pressure and pulse are averaging around 111/63, resting heart rate at 62. I was curious if anyone else has experience bad side effects after experiencing the death of a loved one. I had my OHS in 2007 and had AVR from Endocarditis. I thought that was the worst thing that could happen to me, but the stress from my father passing seems much worse. Would love know how some of you heart patients out there deal with these types of situations.

 

[Eva]

Richard,

I lost my father-in-law on the 10th of August. It was TOUGH! and toughness started as of last January when we knew he could not be helped anymore with his non-hutchinson lymphoma.

It was horrible and stressful to watch your beloved slipping away from you while we cannot do anything, tearful as you are never ready to say the final goodbye, confusing as how someone just *evaporates* like the morning mist and saddening as no matter how much we will miss this person, we won't be able to see him again or hear their voices and wisdom, laughters, love, etc.

For me, I felt I lost my biological Dad for the second time. Though I have lost five members of my family, yet experience a new death has never become easier.

I know how you feel and I know how my hubby is aching inside, yet he is standing beside me like a rock engraved with the happy times we had together when his father visited us and counting our blessings since there are many kids who lose their parents at a very young age before they can build relationships with their parents to remember them later.

Yes, my heart was affected...I used to wake up with heaviness in my chest, numbness in my left arm, stiffness in my left neck, rapid heart beats and racing rapid breathing at night, and SOBs during the day, tears flowing at any thought, and throat closing on me!!

All are just griefing, griefing, griefing. I took sleeping pills to allow my body and mind to rest during the night, and I am now cutting down on them and returning to normal life and reasonable reactions.

Concentrate on the good times you had and consider yourself lucky to have enjoyed your father for the many years you had him around you. One of my girlfriends lost her father at age 7!!:redface2:

"The Mourning Book" has great advices how to overcome your grief. One of the techniques that I did and I will share with you: buy a helium balloon on your dad's birthday or any occasion you choose and pour your feelings in a message you write on that balloon with a felt pen. Then go to an open area, let it fly into space higher and higher *delivering* your message up!:smile2:

 

[Jkm7]

Very sorry for your loss and the difficulties you are now experiencing.

It would be a perfectly reasonable thing to call either your primary care of cardio's office and make an appointment to be checked. You've been through a lot and what with your own health issues, you should be checked. Events of the sort you just suffered can effect our health and it seems a good time for you to have a check up.

I've suffered a great many loses and some when I was way too young to be losing my father and sister etc and there is no denying it takes a toll on us. Each time you lose someone you love, you are never again the same IMO

Hope things get better for you soon and you get a good report when next you see your doctors.

 

[AgilityDog]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Been there, done that, and Eva is right - it never gets easy to lose someone you love.

Anxiety and depression are common after such a loss. Sleep disturbances come with both.

It is certainly worth while to see your physician to rule out any physical cause, and perhaps to get some medication for your emotional disruption, if appropriate.

 

[Luana]

My condolences to you, sleep disturbances are a classic sign of depression, and a certain amount of depression after your father's death is normal. My hunch would be you have some depression with anxiety, though I would suggest seeing your doc to rule out any cardiac problems. A med to help you sleep or to help with anxiety is something that would be good for you to talk to your doc about, too.

You might also consider seeing a therapist. I think that might be a better approach than antidepressants.

 

[carolinemc]

Grief counciling would not be bad at all. It is hard coping with any loss of family. You need to reach out to others who are sharing the same kind of loss. keeping it all bottled up, causes health issues and you are suffering none the less. You go get checked out by a doctor, seek grief counciling and keep reaching out to others. We are all here to help. I lost my mother to RA in 2000. Was not easy for a long time after. I turned my thought to angels and that she was looking down on me. She still does, at times, but you can move on. Have a good weekend and hugs for today.

 

[rubywhistle]

Hi Richard

Sorry to hear about your loss and problems with sleep. My theory is that our bodies grieve as much as our minds - our thoughts and what we do consciously are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to loss.

Stress and worry defiantly affects the body in different ways. Sounds like for you and me and the people in this forum it creeps into our hearts and shows up in symptoms we are familiar with like SOB, palpitations and fatigue.

I too am having trouble sleeping since my sister was diagnosed with mental illness – it has been a different kind of grieving but there has been loss along the way.

I do a guided sleep meditation every night sometimes it takes 10 minutes other nights I go through 2 CDs but it does the job.

I really recommend it but suggest trying a few out as it is about personal preference. Buy a proper CD if you do want to try I would not just use the youtube ones they are a bit amateur, some have adds and they all cut off too quickly that undoes the relaxing bit, it is worth the investment.

Most of all remember your Dad as he was before he was sick and know that he would want you to be happy and making the most of this life.