Has Surgery changed you ?

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Thanks folks

Thanks folks

thanks for your replies ...I think you hit the nail on the head Ann,,..yep I do feel softer and gentler ...maybe more patient in the classroom with the kids and more ready to laugh at things ..after all ..what is the point in getting het about the small things in life ..they really don't matter that much.
As for the scars ..I have four biggies ....the ones I had as a child I learned to live with ...but as a teen I was very aware of them ...other children could be quite hurtful ..especially as we lived in the Med for yrs and I spent a lot of time in cool clothes. Quite often they would say "yuck ..what happened to you ?"...and unlike adults children are not particulary impressed by heart surgery or what you have been through ...I guess this has coloured my adult opinion of my scar ....I cover mine as much as possible ...I want to be seen as a teacher in my job ..and not the person who has had heart surgery ...and the same in my personal life ....I'm a person who just happened to have heart surgery ..not a heart patient who happens to be a person.
I'm tired today ...Monday is a long day in the classroom ...so forgive me if I sound cranky ...don't mean to be .
Take care all
Scottie .

PS ..Ross ..I'm still not sleeping well either ..which makes life a tad tough when I have to perform in the classroom every day ...if you find a cure please let me know.
 
Right on Ross-

No secrets in the operating room anyway, tubes and gizmos coming out of every orifice.

Might as well forget about modesty in the hospital. Just try to have a sponge bath with the curtain drawn. It seems to invite doctors and nurses, even cleaning people drawing the curtain aside without even "knocking". They don't care about anything. Most of the doctors just want to get their rounds done in a hurry.
 
Quick answer...yes....

The last 2 surgeries have made me take a closer look at myself...and my world around me...what is and what isn't important, etc.

As for the scar, most people tell me that the scar bothers me more than anyone else. Still, I'm not one to "show" that I've been through a lot...I keep a lot of things in...because everytime I seem to let someone in...I end up getting hurt too quickly....

I've been amazed as I've read some of the responses...how closely my opinions/views/etc. have been to what some of you have experienced/witnessed/felt.... It feels good to know that I'm "not the only one" in some of those aspects....

Not sure what else I can say that hasn't been said already...and to try to respond to each one I want to...would take all day...and prolly bore the heck out of all of you...;).

Peace...Always,
Cort Stevens...pig's valve & pacemaker-enhanced 29/swm
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Scars,

Its a joke right?

Most guys have a scar that they proudly show around for fun and games.

I remember the navy docs asking on the health profile years ago, any scars or marks.

I had the tip of my middle finger accidentally removed by a lawn mower when I was five (it is pretty ugly and seldom gets shown except in times of great anger.)

The other "scar" they noted was the result of a FEMALE doctor(of an alternative lifestyle, I am told) that delivered me and promptly in the Jewish tradition(though, I am not Jewish) cut the tip off my (seems this is Bonnie's favorite word lately) "pecker". Now I understand she really liked this procedure.

The military needs identification marks so any scar will do when you are young and pristine(virgin) as I was then.

Now there are plenty of imperfections to note and one of those early ones is really hard to see these days lol. You heard about the 90 year old guy that wanted Viagra so he could stick out enough to pee, right?
Hope I didn't offend anyone, the devil makes me do these things. The devil takes the form of Ann and Bonnie sending me lots of emails containing porn that makes me blush and drool. I mean blush and shudder or.........Love those southern belles they just keep on a ringin' my bells.
Anyway ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to be among you and even for the girls it should not bother them to have a mark of courage and achievement. It is superior to the alternative and darn sexy besides.
 
Billy Bob aka Woody

Billy Bob aka Woody

Why, sugar..little old Annie and me..sending you porn:p :p And all we do all day is sit under the Magnolia tree sipping our sweet tea.:D :D :D :D At night, Annie curls up with her Hound dog and I curl up...:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: with a good book.:p :p Bonnie
 
Well bless me its, Miss Bonnie,

I read half of Shezagirlie's post here thinking it was you and wondering how to answer you, then, darn it weren't you girl. Sippin' sweet tea, nice. I gotta tell ya I don't think it's porn, really, just stuff for "consenting teenagers" naughty but nice.

Not sure about the chat session, I think I got "flamed" by someone bitter about Bob Gleason and my supporting his "quest" for Christine Mayhew and her needs. Anyway, hope we can chat online sometime but Sunday nights are not real good for me. Will see you "belles" later.

BB
 
scars

scars

It has NEVER been a problem with me. I feel as though I grew up in a hospital and was naked in front of MANY people. So getting naked for medical or fun reasons just never bothered me. Even in public I could care less. I get a kick out of people in this country (USA), hanging onto there prudish puritans beliefs(you remember the ones that knew they were in the right to fry people alive, and todays we have learned it was a rye fungai). They act a- gas if some one shows off there figure. After all, we all have a body. But I do enjoy kids in public pools. Sooner or later a kid will approach me and ask about them( my scars). I tell them they are my battle wounds. That normally works and they leave me alone. he he he .
 
Scottie

Scottie

Surgery has changed me in a few ways. Yeah, my health is better. But there has been other changes. I am more mellow than I was before. In my family, being hyper about anything is normal. And I was always a tense person. I never knew why I was that way all the time, just was. I have changed the way I look at life in general. Never taking it for granted anymore. So icherish life more than I did before surgery. No two people react the same to surgery. There are those who have a spiritual experience, or death experience or just seeing a loved one.

Caroline
09-13-01
Aortic valve replacement
St. Jude's valve
 
Med - we still have plenty prudish but getting better - and far beyond the rye fungi!!

Sheza seems to have caught the magic of life. too bad we all had to go through something so traumatic to get where we are today - but the main thing is, we got here. Enjoy what we are, what we have...............

Just re-read Sheza's post - topless? Well, now .. hmmmmm
 
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I guess I'm in the minority in even worrying about future scars. It sure isn't modesty -- was in part-time military (National Guard) for 7 years, and if you had any modesty going in, it was gone quickly there! I'm also the type who spends half the summer out in the yard "dressed for the weather" in just gym shorts, so that's not an issue. Doc's and med staff can see it all, who cares? It is their job, and I'm sure they are pretty immune to the good and bad.

I just hope to wind up with a scar that won't scare my grandchildren, whenever we get that far (daughter is only 17 LOL).
 
I would say yes, surgery changed me a lot. I was just totally in awe what Medical Technology could do. The whole operation seemed like a miracle to me, which made me extremely grateful when I woke up and was ALIVE!

I look at life through what I call more spirited eyes. Each day is a gift and we should cherish it. I too feel more gentler about things. Stuff that use to upset me, I could care less about now. I too have eliminated certain people from my life, without realizing I was doing it. It just came to evolve. I agree with a lot of what ShezaGirlie said. Well, I don't exactly sunbathe topless, but I do go out and mow my lawn in my swimsuit. There;s my scar for all the neighborhood to see. Just doesn't phase me.

I use to go out and party every Friday night and close my favorite bar down. Now they may only see me once in a while and I don't stay long. Closing a bar down is no longer what I can do, or want to do. Don't get me wrong, I still like to have a couple of beers at night and maybe on weekends four, but thats it.

I find this forum to be a lot of fun, because I am with people that know. I've learned a lot. I've made new friends. I don't always get on as often as I would like. I'm going to have to join everyone on Sunday to chat. What time would that be here in Chicago? Cort, Steve, I know you two guys know, since you both joined in Sunday.

Scars, well what can I say. I've had scars since I was two years old. Most of them not visible except to my boyfriend. When I went back to work in June of 2001, it was hot out. I wore blouses that you could see the top of my scar. It didn't bother me. To me it was like showing I wasn't ashamed to have had OHS. Which of course I wasn't. It's kind of like what Medtronic of Borg said. To me Scars are like battle wounds of life. All except one of my operations was to save my life, so I'm happy I have the sacrs. Beats the alternative!

I never really was a vain person, because even before I knew no one was perfect. Scars do fade for the most part and don't always look as red and angry like when their fresh.

All I can say is life is for living, and I do my best to do just that.
 
Steve,
Before my surgery I did a lot of research into different approachs. I knew I would have a scar, but if it could be minimized that's what I wanted. I had a mini-sternotomy, which means that the entire sternum was not split. The incision on the lower end is the same place, but it ends far below the neck-line. With a tank-top shirt on, the scar is not visible. I also requested a "cosmetic close" which means my incision is a tiny thin line, not raised at all, and at 8-months postop looks like it will soon be barely visible even with my shirt off. Surgeons don't really care what your scar looks like as long as they can get the job done safely and correctly. Beyond that, it is up to you to raise the issues. Why have a worse scar than you need to? I did read something that stuck with me:
"Our scars are proof that our pasts are real." Our scars are also proof that we have healed.

Best,

--John
 
Since my surgery three years ago I've often wondered to what extent it's changed me but my conclusions are less positive than many of those posted above. A difficulty that I've not been able to overcome is the fact that before surgery I was convinced that if I survived and made a good recovery (I managed both!) I would never again let the "trivial" things in life bug me - everything would be a permanent bed of roses. Looking back now, I think that the two or three months immediately after surgery were probably the happiest days of my life - the post-op gym classes, seeing your strength improve every day, the support from friends and family etc. etc. However, now that reality has kicked in it seems a big disappointment to realise that things just get back to "normal". I'm off work at the moment, diagnosed with severe (work-related) stress, and I'm pretty sure that it's this sense of disappointment that lies at the heart of it all.

Having said all of that, the physical side of things couldn't be better. I'm just about to cycle off for a (cold) game of tennis followed, I hope, by an equally cold beer. Oh, and I'm very proud of my scar!
 
tomtom

tomtom

You might need the help of a good support group, I belong to 3,
  1. vr
  2. zipper club
  3. young at heart
    [/list=1]
    I also am doing cardiac rehab, which your right, feeling stronger each week is exilerating.

    But I do this on my own ( not to say my family, friends and workmate haven't been there, 'cause they have), the support groups, rehab, follow-up dr visit, labwork, dealing with insuance companies, exercising at home the other 3 days, etc,...
    It's at these support group where I feel like I'm not alone, and can relieve some stress and possibly help others.

    You should be proud of yourself for getting back into your old routine, I'm still striving to get there and more.

    Take care

    Terry40
 
Don't let that crazy scar slow you down, Scottie!

Don't let that crazy scar slow you down, Scottie!

ShezaGirlie If I didn?t know better I would think you were our very own Ms. Janie from Texas?!! :eek:

I just got back from Mazatlan, Mexico.... I didn?t sunbath topless, but I did wear a bikini top with my shorts all the time I was there. :) I will never, never be ashamed of my scar or try to hide it. Never.

Now hanging an emblem on my body saying I have medical problems is another story.... I just hate that. :mad: But I do it!

About open heart surgery changing you.... Have any of you ever tried to tell someone what it was like taking that long ride down the hall to the OR room? I tried to tell my husband about it a week or so after my surgery and he picked up the newspaper and started glancing through it as I was talking to him?! I couldn?t believe it!! I?ve never tried to tell anyone again... I don?t think anyone can understand unless they?ve been there and experienced it for themselves. I?m so happy my favorite cowboy was there waiting for me, and put me right to sleep, because I was about to start crying by the time I got to the OR.

The whole thing has certainly been a life altering experience for me. I thank God for every day and every moment... even the bad ones. At the same time I refuse to let my screwed up heart dictate my life. I?m not ready for no rockin chair!
 
That's it Rain...that's exactly it...
____________________
Les AVR '93 / '95
 
Change after surgery - depression

Change after surgery - depression

Before my valve repair surgery I got a lot of material from my cardiologist and surgeon. Most of it mentioned depression being pretty common after a major surgery. But I haven't run across any posts that mention that. Of course,I'm new and haven't read everything yet. Has anyone else experienced depression or am I one of the "lucky" few that has actually had it happen to me?

Help!

Mary
 
Mary,
Welcome to our little family at VR.com. Much here has been written about depression, and yes, many people have suffered from it after surgery. Just do a search here on the word "depression" and you will get a ton of information.

I see you're from Bismarck, ND...that's where my wife and I got married 25 years ago :)

If you have specific questions, feel free to post without having to read all of the previous posts on depression. There are many knowledgeable folks here who will be glad to help you however they can!

Best,
--John
 
Depression? Lord, yes, Mary - many, many suffer from it. It goes along with heart issues. And they tell us the heart has nothing to do with our emotions???
 
Hi Mary-

Depression is very, very common, almost an expected thing after heart surgery. Do not feel alone. If it gets too bad, medications help tremendously. It's a chemical imbalance.

Wishing you all the best.
 
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