Well, no major new epiphanies (defined as a feeling of a breakthrough insight), however I had been having many of those for several years prior to learning of my heart defect and subsequent AVR soon thereafter. But the operation and endocarditis scare beforehand certainly gave me a few more gray hairs that seem to want to stand out and be counted (I guess the experience has made me stronger
). Most of my life I had been one of those quick to compromise for the good of the workgroup, friends and family kinds of people (not that this is a bad thing). I think we all have a story leading up to our surgeries. I’ve been the type of person who was always willing to take a number and sit down in the back row to wait patiently for my turn, a person who often took better care of others than himself, and who sometimes let others take advantage of his disposition. Although I had several incredibly wonderful nurses and an excellent surgeon, during the months before surgery, along with the hospital stays and the month long infusion therapy, I had to dig down deep to teach myself to stand up to a few less-than-ideal health care worker situations. The benefits of these lessons still linger—I’m better at standing up for myself.
But more so during my heart experience I met a lot of wonderful people making the best of difficult situations. I saw courageous people battle big things, for example, the jovial guy who I chatted with while we were both being prepped for the same surgery who ended up suffering a stroke during his surgery. I spoke with his family during our group discharge meeting as he wasn’t able to attend, they were staying positive but I could see the concern in their eyes, I left hoping that this guy would fully recover. But I digress, this operation is very successful and the surgery teams are so experienced that it’s become fairly routine to them. I kept a positive attitude during my two hospital stays, it helped.
I guess, like many of us, my appreciation for what others go through who have even larger hurdles in life got bigger. I feel there’s more to appreciate, I feel I’ve been lucky to have been able to do the things I loved in my youth, and still able to be very physically active to this day. I feel I don’t want to waste time, but to experience little things better, and I pretty much do most of the time. Like others have said, every morning and every day is an opportunity to feel fortunate to be alive to experience more of life and to feel compassion for others going through challenges of their own. My gal says I’m a corny sentimentalist (but most of the time she says I’m a courageous survivor, and I can tell she means it). You too will be known as a survivor, and will takeaway from the experience what is important to you. Best wishes!
