Explaining OHS to children

[ks1490]

I wrote a post on this subject a few months ago looking for advice when my cardio told me it was time to have the surgery, my surgery is now in a couple of weeks' time. After getting some advice from my daughter's (4 years old) teacher about what to say, I've now told her and it went incredibly well. I just thought I would share the script that I used:

* Daddy went to the doctor and the doctor said his heart needed to be fixed.
* Luckily the doctor is so smart that he knows how to fix it.
* In order to fix it, daddy needs to go to the hospital. I'll be there for a week and then I'll come home. While I'm in the hospital, you can visit me. Once the doctor fixes me, I'm going to be fine.
* When I come home, I'm going to be home for some time because I need to heal. My chest is going to be sore, so I can't pick you up or hug you hard for some time. I may be sleepy and need to take alot of naps. You'll have to be mommy's special helper while I'm healing.

This worked like a charm. She proceeded to ask me all sorts of intelligent questions that I never anticipated from a 4 year old, she offered to play with her friends outside instead of inviting them in, etc. Last weekend we also visited the hospital (just into the lobby and the cafe) so that she could see where I was going to be. She wanted to know where I would eat, go to the bathroom, etc., she was incredibly interested in the whole thing.

So for me, the whole thing went incredibly smoothly. Teacher recommended only tell her 1-2 weeks out because they still have little concept of time at this age and are largely focused on the here and now. Just thought I'd share.

 

[Freddie]

Yes indeed, it does sound like you have a very intelligent daughter and you handled the topic very well.
Don't be surprised if she has more questions.

Your experience on handling this with young children is valuable and this topic has come up many times on the forum, thanks for sharing

 

[Ross]

It depends on the child. Some are way ahead in the thought department, then others. There is no one size fits all for kids. Sounds like you did an excellent job.

 

[nngbwh]

Great info !!!!!!!!!!. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Superbob]

Sounds like you handled this just right. It is refreshing to read. Best wishes....

 

[Nicholas288]

Glad it went well for you

 

[karen14]

Awesome stuff ks1490! Well done!

 

[lovemydad]

Those are great pointers. My Dad is having OHS surgery in a couple days and I'll use some of your suggestions to explain it my children, his grandchildren.

Best of luck to you!
Mel

 

[colsha]

Kids are pretty good at cutting through any/all the BS, so, as the teacher advised, the truth is the best method of dealing with it.

Having said that, when they actually see their loved one for the first time - especially looking weak and frail - their defenses and resolve can sometimes crumble. Just be aware of this and I'm sure this part of the journey will work out fine.

Good luck and cheers!

Col
--------------------
Coarctation Repair 12th August 1999.

Aortic Valve Replacement with St. Jude mechanical valve anad aneurysm repair 22nd February 2010. Now Dacron aorta from the new valve to the end of the Coarctation repair (over the arch).

 

[starburstcoral]

thanks! this is a good script.

 

[ALCapshaw2]

Well done! Thanking your daughter's teacher for her insightful and perceptive advice would be a nice touch.

Some parents (who happened to have a murmur or arrhythmia) would let their children listen to their heartbeats with a stethoscope and then have them listen to their own heartbeat (or another healthy heart), followed by comments similar to what you told your daughter.

'AL Capshaw'