caregiver frustration

[RI Mom]

Hello everyone. You may know me as Mom to Idrees with congenital heart defects. Well, Idrees is doing fantastic; however my husband went through triple bypass last week so I now have 2 heart patients in the family. He did not have a heart attack, he was sent to the cath. lab by his cardiologist because of some abnormal cardiac studies. They did the cath, found the blockages and did surgery the next day. He came through it beautifully....surgery Weds. home on Saturday. Physically doing very well so far but I have seen some behavioral/emotional changes that I think are normal but wanted your input. He has periods of being very negative to everyone in the house (of course it doesn't help that it's spring break and the kids are at home all day). He keeps looking around for jobs for us to do. Yesterday he had my 15 y.o. son cleaning the cover to our hot tub and then convinced the kid that he needs a psychological evaluation because he's been forgetting to turn in his homework lately. Later he's happy, laughing,etc.... Is this fairly typical? Any suggestions?

 

[Ross]

Fairly typical, yes. If it lasts beyond 6 weeks, you might want to consult his Doc about it. It can be anything from medication to simply his soul searching itself and asking why. If it gets really bad or even worse then it is now, time to call his Doctor.

 

[AgilityDog]

Gads, yes. My doctors warned my husband about me probably having depression and emotional issues before I even left the hospital! It takes most of us quite some time to come to grips with our sudden mortality.

 

[Jkm7]

You've all been through a sudden and unexpected life changing event. Your DH and you were so focused on your son, it is probably very difficult for all of you to come to grips with the severity of your DH's trauma. Hopefully, you will see him get back to being himself bit by bit. He's been through a lot and it takes time to adjust....... not to mention just getting all the heavy duty anethesia drugs fully out of his system.

Best wishes. Chances are good he'll become more his old self on his own but if not, a discussion with his doctors should be considered.

 

[hall]

I thought I was being very nice and my family tells me other wise. It must be the drugs or something because as a rule, I am not like that.

 

[Nancy]

Mood swings are very normal early on in recovery. They are from surgery drugs and anesthesia still hanging around, severe trauma to the body's systems causing chemical imbalances, and probably a host of other things known and unknown to doctors. Some people even cry at the drop of a hat, get paranoid and confused. Just go with the flow for a few weeks, and make sure everyone else knows about what is happening so they don't get emotionally traumatized by the erratic behavior.

It will get better as time goes on and the body returns to normal.

You might want to try to keep the kids out of harm's way a little and have them stay away from dad so he can get some emotional balance. I would bet the constant motion and chatter of kids puts him on edge.

He's still in the early stages of recovery. You all are going to have to baby him a little.

If several weeks have passed and you see no positive changes, then get him in to his doctor for an evaluation, as Ross mentioned. Every once in a while, someone has a permanent depression after heart surgery. My husband did, and medications helped him tremendously.

 

[Johan]

After my heart attack 5 years ago (stented, which blocked up resulting in another heart attack) I went through a very rough patch emotionally. Took about 6 months to come more or less right, didn't really know what it was, so no medication.

I agree with Ross & AgilityDog, it is this mortality thing.

When my AVR approached last year we feared for the worst, regarding emotions and depression. My wife and daughter were fully prepared and had our GP on standby with possible medication. But lo and behold nothing happened, I came through unscathed in the negative emotions department! Just happy to be alive and feeling 20 years younger and have all this energy and a totally new lease on life!!!

 

[hensylee]

I had quad bypass but had no problems with emotional roller coaster, however being a member here tells us that it happens and is quite common among us. I wish you well and hope that all will clear as he progresses to his new life. (and he will). Right now he's sore, on meds, needs sleep and that will all come. I had nobody home but me to be bothered with/about. Blessins............

 

[nngbwh]

I think it is the drugs and anesthesia from surgery. I was in a depression mood. Give it some time it will get better.

 

[Luana]

Sounds like he wants to be in control. He's been through one of the ultimate no-control situations with the surgery and hospital stay, and he's kind of had the rug pulled out from under him with the realization that something major was wrong with him, which probably also made him confront his mortality, so, obviously, he's been through a lot, even with a good outcome. Meds are most likely playing a part in this, too, but the mood swings are not uncommon. People go through a lot of emotions, and it may be easier for some people to show anger when they feel vulnerable.

 

[RI Mom]

Thanks everyone for your input. Today is going much better. I got him out of the house for a few hours and his spirits are much higher. I will take your advice and be patient with him.