anxious and just plain scared

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oh thank you for that Paleogirl....that is my biggest fears..wires and pain are not first for me ...it is the darn nauseated feeling , if that doesnt happen , i will win for sure. what a great group of supporters, i shall leave my drama queens all at home and move on with you guys.
 
I didn't have any nausea. Nada. Expected it, but it never showed up. Found out later that I was on something to prevent that. Can't remember the name of it.

It's best to stay away from what you don't want to see, hear, or read. Everyone is different. I wanted to know what I would look like in recovery. Googled it and looked at pictures and you tube videos. That was comforting to me. Do what's right for you! And don't let the people around you gin up a lot of drama.
It really is possible to go into this feeling pretty serene. I actually looked that word up a few weeks before surgery. Calm, peaceful, and untroubled; tranquil; unperturbed (that was a good one). I wrote those words down and carried them in my pocket every day.
 
thanks Blair..u see i put this off for 3 years as the doc didn't say "yes, it is time" til now. i know it has to be done and thanks for your words of encouragement, have dropped the drama club, i know what i will look like...yuk...but everyone goes through that and i know i am in good hands as our hospital for heart surgery is excellent and i went to the seminar to see and hear all i could..did the tour , handled the fake valves but hey...it wasn't happenin to me at that point but i do remember a little woman about 50 saying that she couldn't eat properly for 6 months and of course i have a wonderful sil who always has wonderful news , called me the other day and says.." the fellow that lives behind me had it done and could not eat right for a year.." i keep a distance on that subject matter to almost everyone now...i want to be able to walk in there and do it ...hell, the damn catherization is driving me up the wall and i know it shouldn't be a problem....
 
For many of us (perhaps most of us), the wait and anticipation is far worse than the reality.
I had two OHS in four years and really, really, really......... both went fine, I had no complications and healed well and returned to my full, usual activities in
a reasonably short amount of time.

I had little appetite both surgeries for just a short amount of time. Both of my OHS were during cold New England winter and DH and I were out to dinner in under a month both times. First surgery when I had it as an emergency case, our best friend invited us to dinner at his house about a week or ten days after I came home. He is an MD and I thought he was trying to kill me. I asked if it was safe and he asked if I thought for one minute he would put me at risk? We went, I ate, was tired and went home. His most valuable lesson to me was I am not an invalid, I can and should get about my life and he knew the only place I would safe venturing out socially so soon was to be with him. It as a gift he gave me.

This business about not eating for a year is something I have never heard before. Some have poor appetite for a month or maybe two but that is extreme for most of us.

For us, OHS is a major big deal and unimaginably frightening but for the professionals taking care of us it is another day at the office. This is remarkably successful surgery and those who have serious complications is such a small percentage in comparison to many other surgeries.

We are so fortunate there is a surgery to fix us, there is a way for us to look forward to lots of quality time. Some diseases, as we know, have absolutely no cure and no hope for survival or even stability for any length of time.

We are blessed to have born in a time that medical science has perfected a way to treat us.

All the best wishes.
 
Jkm7 said:
We are so fortunate there is a surgery to fix us, there is a way for us to look forward to lots of quality time. Some diseases, as we know, have absolutely no cure and no hope for survival or even stability for any length of time.

We are blessed to have born in a time that medical science has perfected a way to treat us.
Click to expand...

Best words here...CURE and HOPE. Take them, embrace and embed into your inner most thoughts and beliefs. Regarding surgery..Fear/uncertainly normal but you can empower yourself.. ""get 'er done", face recovery with positive attitude and determination and LIVE !!

Helen

p.s I am the daughter of a wonderful man who had to face NO hope and NO cure (cancer-cholangiocarcinoma stage 4 at the time of diagnosis). He still fought for as long as he could . It certainly affected my perspective when I was actually facing imminent surgery. I was just thankful for "hope". :)

p.p.s I too am a vomit-phobe. I can empathize. I was fine :)
 
thank you Helen...the support you and the others have given me is helping...yes i still feel sick to my stomach from nerves but with all of this positive messages and caring really helps. i lost my brother last year from spinal cancer...nothing could have been worse and i know he would trade places with me to have the chance as he loved life so much. i think too, i have had some bad vibes from a few and it has clouded the good stuff and that is all i am going to listen to. thanks again for sharing your success with me.
 
I am now 6 days out from tissue AVR. I am home and healing. It IS scary. I was convinced I was going to die. No amount of reassurance from family, friends, minister, of the doctors could change my fear. Cliche: you have to have faith. Faith you will wake up. Faith you will see your family, pets, and home again.
 
hi Alive and happy..this is exactly how i am and your letter hit the nail on the head. why cant i unzip a part of my head and dumped that stuff out as i know better but reason is so hard to come by when you are so damn scared of it all. just the hospital is a problem with me and yet i went to the seminar of this and was fine , of course , it was way down the road. the problem i was having is i was getting negative hurtful comments on my condition...i was doing better until the cleaning lady informed me of her retired nurse friend saying how serious this was...get my papers in order..do the will...cleaning lady says , make sure your husband gets his hair cut and then on and on....she is being fired today. i just dont need it. i am in pretty good shape , a little old but i get around very well but i know if i put it off like the guy down the street who is another one...he is putting it off because he says it will make him funny???????? so u see,,,i am working hard on being positive. thank you for your support ,,,what a great group and i found u in time. Ruth
 
You will be just fine. Don't listen to negative comments, they usually just stem from ignorance. This forum is amazing for support. I have anxiety issues so I was a complete mess before surgery, so I understand. Don't be afraid to ask for anti-anxiety meds if you need them. There's no point in suffering like that every day. Good luck & I look forward to seeing your posts when you are on the "other side". :)
 
oh how nice , thank you. i feel better knowing i am not alone and have anti -anxiety pills zanax , they really work well and i wonder if they will let me use them the day go in for the tests...i am on the starting road..blood tests and all the little stuff done...have to have that catherization thing done on wednesday, see surgeon and then set the date. can u imagine when they call with the date...i shall have to be picked up off the floor. i cant wait to write from the other side...i shall go to rehab also.
 
I bet they will let you take something as long as you have someone to drive you home. I was terrified of the cath too, but it was super easy. The day of the surgery, I wanted to run out of the hospital! They will give you some "happy juice" before they wheel you away for surgery. They did for me & I think that's pretty common from what I hear.
 
Thanks Leah....boy , cant wait to get the next step over with. another problem i have is i am a small person and losing weight is a huge problem..when i lost my late husband Dan to a heart attack in front of me....i went down 25 pounds. the zanax has gotten me through a lot of rough times these past years but this is one of the biggest ,,,i have always looked after everyone else. gosh..what a super site..i cannot wait to write....I did it!
 
Oh bless your heart. You hang in there and this will all be just a memory soon. I will be thinking about you!
 
Just wanted to jump in and wish you the best of luck on your upcoming surgery!

I'm also very glad you found this forum so that you can gain some comfort in our stories of hope and to let you know, that there is LIFE after Open-Heart Surgery. Pretty soon you too will join us in welcoming the new and frightened ones and extend words of comfort to them!

Oh, and the fear never goes away, whether you've faced OHS once or have faced it multiple times as I have. Thank goodness I had a great faith in God and just placed everything in his hands. That's what got me through it and continues to be my strength today.

Good luck and talk to you soon! :)
 
Hi njean...thanks so much for your support , i need it! everyone has been just great , fantastic to what i have had over the last few months.

how does one put a photo so i can put a face to my name.
 
Hi sunshine! I am Sunshine also! Had my aortic valve replaced in 1999 at age 50....was a congenital bi-cuspid. I have a St Judes artificial. No issues with surgery or any time since with valve. Pretty much eat and drink what I want. At time of surgery, I was not given meds for nausea (did not request) but had none at all. Not particularly hungry but not "sick". You will be fine! I was back at work in 5 weeks....full time in 6. Hang in there and remember this site understands. But don't hold it against friends or family who don't seem to. They mean no harm...just harder for some to come to terms with reality. They will very likely be there for you in time. Good luck! It will go well!
 
hi Sunshine....my favourite word and thing. thanks for your encouragement , i am very very scared still ...why doesnt the butterflies stop. anyhow...am working hard at the big breathing and trying to keep busy...going for my hair appointment this afternoon and the gossip there will help me laugh and settle down...thanks to all of you for your support ....i honestly need it!
 
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