it's good to hear from you - I too was worried! A short post, even if all you say is "Hi, I'm still here" would be appreciated from time to time, just to let us know that you are relatively OK.
I also was very troubled (I like that word, I ususally use "upset" and that usually comes across more as angry than troubled) by Deborah's death. I have "chronic recurrent major depressive disorder" and am on antidepressants for life. While they allow me to function (and function well) on a day-to-day basis, there are still some depressive behaviours that I do, like making mountains out of molehills and thinking too much as I fall asleep (I call that one ruminating) and death is one of my triggers, I think.