Why do humans worry?
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debster913
Well-known member
While we're waiting for Ross to move your post, I'll answer from my own opinion/experience(s).
I'm one of those people who subscribe to the idea of "Expect the best, but prepare for the worst." Maybe it's because I live in earthquake country, or have just had some pretty terrible experiences in my life. I learned at nine that being optimistic doesn't always work. My father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and though we all hoped he would beat the disease, he died six months later. Same with my mother two years ago: same cancer, same outcome. It is realistic not to have your hopes up when the cancer is deadly, and pancreatic cancer is almost always a killer. Although I hoped and prayed that she would recover, the reality soon set it that she would not. Preparing for her ultimate death saved me quite a bit of heartache, though I still mourn her.
There have been other instances in my life where the outcome has not been favorable. That is not to say that I haven't had a lot of good things in my life. Really, I feel blessed. I was lucky to have two parents who loved me though I only had them for a short time. I have a husband who puts up with me, especially when I PMS. Heh. I have a great family, caring friends, a great job, a competent cardiologist. I have lived when doctors thought I would die.
There are other personal things going on with me at the moment, and I am preparing for the worst-case scenario. I can be only Pollyanna-like optimistic and say, "Everything will turn out in my favor! Yay!" and then get slammed to the ground when/if it doesn't, or I can hope that everything turns out OK, but still be prepared for the what-if-everything-is-not-OK. This does not make me primarily pessimistic, or a worrywart, but rather realistic.
To sum it up, I think it's just part of the human condition. I think we tend to worry because that is how we attempt to "control" a situation.
Is something worrying you, young Ged? However, if you're worried all the time, that can be a problem.
Debi (debster913)
I'm one of those people who subscribe to the idea of "Expect the best, but prepare for the worst." Maybe it's because I live in earthquake country, or have just had some pretty terrible experiences in my life. I learned at nine that being optimistic doesn't always work. My father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and though we all hoped he would beat the disease, he died six months later. Same with my mother two years ago: same cancer, same outcome. It is realistic not to have your hopes up when the cancer is deadly, and pancreatic cancer is almost always a killer. Although I hoped and prayed that she would recover, the reality soon set it that she would not. Preparing for her ultimate death saved me quite a bit of heartache, though I still mourn her.
There have been other instances in my life where the outcome has not been favorable. That is not to say that I haven't had a lot of good things in my life. Really, I feel blessed. I was lucky to have two parents who loved me though I only had them for a short time. I have a husband who puts up with me, especially when I PMS. Heh. I have a great family, caring friends, a great job, a competent cardiologist. I have lived when doctors thought I would die.
There are other personal things going on with me at the moment, and I am preparing for the worst-case scenario. I can be only Pollyanna-like optimistic and say, "Everything will turn out in my favor! Yay!" and then get slammed to the ground when/if it doesn't, or I can hope that everything turns out OK, but still be prepared for the what-if-everything-is-not-OK. This does not make me primarily pessimistic, or a worrywart, but rather realistic.
To sum it up, I think it's just part of the human condition. I think we tend to worry because that is how we attempt to "control" a situation.
Is something worrying you, young Ged? However, if you're worried all the time, that can be a problem.
Debi (debster913)
Well I'm pre-surgery at the moment so ultimately what lies ahead is worrying me.
Incidetially I went to see the physciartrist at the hospital today to discuss my panic attacks (I had a recent CT scan cancelled due to panic). For the first time today I was able to put my finger on what troubles me and I told him the following: The anticipation of what's ahead troubles me the most and the fear of fear itself. I told him that I'm very reactive to physical sensations and also very reactive to words. I used the following as a example, I told the physciartrist that if he gave me a sugar tablet to swallow and told me that there's a chance the the sugar tablet could cause me some temporary numbness or some other strange sensation there is a good change that the anticipation of this sensation would cause me a panic attack. I suppose it's good that I'm starting to identify these feelings.
Incidetially I went to see the physciartrist at the hospital today to discuss my panic attacks (I had a recent CT scan cancelled due to panic). For the first time today I was able to put my finger on what troubles me and I told him the following: The anticipation of what's ahead troubles me the most and the fear of fear itself. I told him that I'm very reactive to physical sensations and also very reactive to words. I used the following as a example, I told the physciartrist that if he gave me a sugar tablet to swallow and told me that there's a chance the the sugar tablet could cause me some temporary numbness or some other strange sensation there is a good change that the anticipation of this sensation would cause me a panic attack. I suppose it's good that I'm starting to identify these feelings.
I have always been a worrier--not so much a pessimist though.
But in regards to my surgery,I was the opposite.In a strange way,its
almost like I used a form of self hypnosis on myself...I will be fine, I have
a good surgeon whom I trust,the surgery will be successful,etc. It was
a mantra and I believed it and it helped me.
Now I am post op and back to worrying again. I wish I knew how I did
this since it was so effective. It served as a great defense mech, and
if you believe in 'mind over matter', it may have helped more than just
my coping and anxiety.
But in regards to my surgery,I was the opposite.In a strange way,its
almost like I used a form of self hypnosis on myself...I will be fine, I have
a good surgeon whom I trust,the surgery will be successful,etc. It was
a mantra and I believed it and it helped me.
Now I am post op and back to worrying again. I wish I knew how I did
this since it was so effective. It served as a great defense mech, and
if you believe in 'mind over matter', it may have helped more than just
my coping and anxiety.
I've always thought that worrying is a survival instinct that's gone in to overdrive.
VikiVix
Well-known member
Me too!
Me too!
I'm a worrier too. I also tend to be a pessimist but have improved a lot over the last few years and am working on and accomplishment much more of being optimistic. I think my reason in life for the pessimism was preparedness for let downs rather than being over exited over impossible dreams. Nowadays, I think of all changes as new adventurers which takes away fears of the unknown. With financial things...I just know that worrying doesn't pay any bills and that things always work out. My life has become much more filled with peace. Now I have to admit that I still have moments of fearing and worrying about how much longer my new valve will last.
Viki
Me too!
I'm a worrier too. I also tend to be a pessimist but have improved a lot over the last few years and am working on and accomplishment much more of being optimistic. I think my reason in life for the pessimism was preparedness for let downs rather than being over exited over impossible dreams. Nowadays, I think of all changes as new adventurers which takes away fears of the unknown. With financial things...I just know that worrying doesn't pay any bills and that things always work out. My life has become much more filled with peace. Now I have to admit that I still have moments of fearing and worrying about how much longer my new valve will last.
Viki
L
Lisa in Katy
I'd say it's human nature, but humans don't actually hold the patent on worry. Other animals worry too. My beagle worries about when he will get his next goody! They show it in different ways - chewing their feet or other things, tearing things up, whining, digging, etc. - usually destructive or negative actions. People do similar things - biting nails, lips or cheeks, eating, crying, etc. - also destructive or negative actions.
Unfortunately, humans have more things to worry about, and many seem to make it a habit. If it seems to be a great part of your life, you probably need to see someone.
Unfortunately, humans have more things to worry about, and many seem to make it a habit. If it seems to be a great part of your life, you probably need to see someone.
abbanabba
Well-known member
Me too. I also don't see much validity in worrying - after all, if you can't do anything to change the situation, all the worry in the world isn't going to make a difference... if you CAN do something to change the situation, then there's really nothing to worry about.
Which isn't to say I don't have concerns with my day to day life (like the fact we've just signed up for a rather large mortgage and the world economic crisis may see my partner lose his job), but rather than just stressing without direction, I try to come up with contingency plans for such an eventuality so SHOULD the worst happen we are prepared and have a plan of attack. This gives me back a sense of control and vastly reduces the need to worry. Sure - it might not work out the way I originally planned or hoped for, but every new challenge is a new chance to learn and grow and develop as a person.
Even when it came to my PVR I was remarkably calm. The surgery itself was out of my control and I had to accept that and focus on the things I COULD control... eating well, minimising exposure to illness, getting adequate sleep, setting up my room/home for when I returned, spending quality time with my loved ones, etc. I had to trust that the people in control of what happened while I was in hospital were professionals who also wanted the best outcome for me and that's why they had spent as many years as they had studying and learning their craft.
Also - fear and ignorance go hand in hand, so the more I can educate myself and learn about the unknowns, the better I feel about them. Again, it's all about being in control.
A : )
I like to thing of myself as an optimistic pessimist
C
Curtsmum
I read somewhere, that when you think about something all the time, your brain is just doing what it thinks you want it to do. So you have to train your brain to stop worrying. Don't ask me how . Hope you can get help with your panic attacks, all the best.
. Hope you can get help with your panic attacks, all the best.
Ross
Well-known member
I've given thought to the question and whether right or wrong, this is my take on it. Part of it is instinct and the other part is preconditioning. Some of us have had nothing but terrifyingly bad things happen on an almost continuous basis. When that happens time after time, your get preconditioned to it and simply worry at everything. I'm like that and I know a few others here are too.
I agree with Ross. I have had many bad things happen in my life from the time I was 8 years old. I always worry about everything and expect the worse. On the other hand my husband is just the opposite and he keeps me sane. He always says he doesn't have to ever worry about anything because I worrry enough for everyone in our family.
I think humans worry because we have the cognitive ability to project ?. As to being a pessimist vs. optimist it could be the way we were raised, life?s circumstances and experiences etc. I personally think there is a difference between pathological worry and valid concerns ?. We all know people whose glass is always either half empty or half full ?. My glass usually seems to be half full and I contribute that to my faith and the way I was raised ? Mind you, I am not saying one is right or wrong but having a half full glass is much easier for me to live with and much easier for the ones I am around.
Ross
Well-known member
Wait a minute, who gives Chimps glasses in the first place?
KristyW
Well-known member
It's possible Cooker, but I tell ya what. Like you, I'm a "glass half full" kind of person. When I do worry, it's really only about things over which I have control. In other words, I don't worry about the unrest in the mid-east, I don't worry about catastrophic weather or acts of God, because I have absolutely no control over their outcome. I do try to prepare for events, but I don't worry about them.
My brother however is a complete pessimist. His glass will never even reach half full. We were raised in the same household, so I don't know what to say about pessimism vs. optimism.
deano89
Well-known member
pessimism vs. optimism the optimist has a better time of it!!!
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
A bit of worrying is healthy, as long as we do not allow it to dominate us!
dlangton
Well-known member
Pessimism is Good
Pessimism is Good
Pessimism is a crucial strategy, without which human beings would probably not even exist. Dwelling on potential bad consequences helps to avoid experiencing them, and prepares one for dealing with them if they occur. Concerning open heart surgery, I managed not to worry because I knew I'd done everything I could to ameliorate any potential bad consequences, including the important choice of which valve to get. The rest was simply out of my control. If you worry about the sword of Damocles or the hammer of Thurber falling on your head or the electricity leaking from a socket without a light bulb, then you might want to consider talking to a shrink. It's the things that are under my control that I worry about, since I know that I sometimes do the wrong thing or avoid doing the thing that needs to be done to pre-empt the bad stuff.
Pessimism is Good
Pessimism is a crucial strategy, without which human beings would probably not even exist. Dwelling on potential bad consequences helps to avoid experiencing them, and prepares one for dealing with them if they occur. Concerning open heart surgery, I managed not to worry because I knew I'd done everything I could to ameliorate any potential bad consequences, including the important choice of which valve to get. The rest was simply out of my control. If you worry about the sword of Damocles or the hammer of Thurber falling on your head or the electricity leaking from a socket without a light bulb, then you might want to consider talking to a shrink. It's the things that are under my control that I worry about, since I know that I sometimes do the wrong thing or avoid doing the thing that needs to be done to pre-empt the bad stuff.
