With regard to my husband, he was very symptomatic, however we attributed those symptoms to other things.
We thought his fatigue was due to his starting up his own business and dealing with that. His weight gain was due to the fatigue and stress when it was actually edema. I had caught a cold with a horrid cough that lasted for almost two months before I got rid of it, so when he started coughing because fluid was filling up his lungs, we thought he had caught my cold. When he was out of breath walking to the mailbox, he attributed it to his cough. He had become more forgetful (leaving the stove on, etc) and we thought it was just overwork and long hours from his new business. When he started to run a temperature during the day and had trouble breathing at night because fluid was building up around his heart, so that he couldn't sleep, we thought his "cold" had turned into walking pneumonia. To that end, Carl saw two docs in ten days who listened to his heart and somehow managed to miss that he had a heart murmur and fluid in his lungs.
Two days after the second doc appt, I dragged Carl (who was looking rather moribund at that point) to my primary care physician who knew right away something was wrong, but only said, "Hrmmm, that murmur sounds pretty loud and I don't like the way your lungs aren't filling all the way. I'd like you to go now and get an EKG and chest xray." And that got the ball rolling. Now, 3.5 months post-surgery, all of his symptoms have disappeared.
As other's have said, it wasn't that he was asymptomatic, it's just that they crept up slowly (over the course of abut 18 months) and we were very good at rationalizing the cause. I remembering asking him twice if it could be his heart (knowing heart problems can cause SOB), but he insisted it was the "cold".
As for the two docs that completely missed a 70% regurgitation from two valves... grrrrrrrrr, don't get me started. Instead, I prefer to focus on the good part of this entire experience; that we are incredibly grateful for the care and compassion he received from the surgeons, cardiologists, nurses, and even admin staff along the way. They are such a great group of men and women I've fallen in love with them all (how can one not be enamored of the people who have treated my guy so well?) If this were Utah, I would totally be proposing left and right.