What are you doing/did you do during the wait?

[MNmom]

Is anyone or has anyone done any special preparation or changes before surgery? I was just remembering my last post surgery recommendations to avoid salt for 6 weeks post. What about pre? Ideally I should probably avoid salt anyway, and eat healthy in general, but any other advise?

I feel very caged in without being able to exercise, which has been my previous activity/stress reliever since January. Now that I have been told to "take it easy" by ALL OF YOU as well as my Drs, I find myself with too much time on my hands to sit and think.

I was going to pick up a new jewelry making hobby, but I seem to have more fun buying the beads than making the jewelry. All I hear is how much being fit affects recovery and results, and at the same time STOP exercise. and DONT stress! This is all very stressful. I actually broke down in tears this morning at work as I told some co-workers that I set a date- which is so out of character for me. When i was 20 and having this (with no kids or spouse) I was so casual about it, and fearless! Ignorance was bliss.

 

[briansmom]

Well it was my son's surgery and not mine, but I tried to keep busy at work all the while telling everyone that if I forgot something to please go ahead and tell me (I own the company). I read about a book every 2 or 3 days - anything to keep me from thinking about the surgery. Of course it didn't work real well so I also took ambien and/or xanax every night to sleep. In other words, I think it is only natural to struggle with it.

 

[zipper2]

Just wanted to say hello MNmom,
And to welcome you here. Sorry cant help you as I denied my surgery
and at time was supervisor at work and took on two extra jobs with
this and made sure i was never home to deal with the belief of fact I
had rhumatic fever and needed avr and hated what the Dr.told me,
Till my poor husband at least saw how i was keeping self occupied
and made me stop my foolishness,then i got so sick so fast they
moved my surgery date up as i ended up in hospital asap for surgery.
Guess my stubborn streak could have caused my self and family worse
grief ,so at least your on right track of reading,doing jewlery etc.
Wish you luck with everything and be praying for you

zipper2

 

[Philip B]

Pre-surgery Bumps

Pre-surgery Bumps

Yes, my wife and I did some preparation stuff before my surgery. I'm not sure how necessary some of our preparation was, but we felt it would be a good thing to have plans just in case the outcome of my surgery went in a negative direction. It was difficult to confirm life insurance stuff, make sure the legal stuff is current, and do the wait thing. Doing this stuff had a negative feel that both of us found very uncomfortable.

I had to inform my teaching staff about what was going on and take the steps necessary to insure that my school would continue to run in a positive direction while I was out of commission. Probably the most difficult thing to deal with was the realization that this was a problem I couldn't resolve or fix on my own. It was very difficult to communicate this to a group of people who depended on me to solve a lot of their problems. It was difficult to convey confidence when I was an emotional wreck and terrified.

Many of my staff members had questions about what I was facing and visited with me individually. I also found myself dealing with questions from concerned students and parents (rumors circulate pretty quickly in a small town and a small high school). It was sorta strange, but talking to individuals about my congenital condition and how surgery would resolve the problem seemed to help. Perhaps reassuring them helped me reassure myself.

Frankly, I'm not sure either my wife or I would have made it through the wait without staying busy. We totally imersed ourselves in our work (we're both school people) and worked the prep stuff into our routines.

Probably the best thing we did was take a trip to Mexico during the week before my surgery was scheduled. We played golf, laughed, walked on the beach, did the romance thing, and drank a few margaritas.

Within a few days of our return from Mexico, I was still terrified as they wheeled me into the OR. My surgery went well and I only ended up missing six days of work.

The waiting stuff can really be an emotional rollercoaster ride. It tends to test your mental, emotional, and spiritual resolve. Hang in there; you can do this.

-Philip

 

[aussigal]

I was going to pick up a new jewelry making hobby, but I seem to have more fun buying the beads than making the jewelry.(

I know exactly what you mean I have thousands of beads and lots of good intentions but hardly ever seem to get around to actually making the jewellery...There are some wonderful websites around, drooling over them will keep you busy for a little while and the beading magazines are also something I like to collect. Maybe there is somewhere local you could do a class in beads/jewellery...its great fun to share your hobby with other beaders. Once you actually start making something it can be very addictive.


As for other ways to pass the time...I found myself repeating the same "nesting" behaviour that us gals do when our babies are due ...that kept me busy for a few weeks. Lots of time was also spent here on VR.com, there was so much to learn.

 

[Bryan B]

What are you doing/did you do during the wait?

I mostly bounced off of the walls and spent many hours here getting mental therapy from people who had been there and done that. As far as planning for the surgery...my only plan was to somehow convince myself to show up.

Honestly I think the only thing I brought to the hospital was a pair of pajama bottoms so my crack wouldn't show when I did laps around the step down unit. I went in on a Wednesday morning and was out by Sunday morning. Between being woken up every 2 hours during the night and taking rides in the wheelchair for x-rays and echos I dozed on and off quite a bit during the day. I watched some TV, visited with family (had a private room which was nice), and did laps around the nursing station.

But like I said...before the surgery I just tried to stay sane during the wait.

 

[wes]

the pre-surgery wait is a good time to reflect on life, but it doesn't have to be negative thinking. of course, facing surgery is no easy task, but I truly believe in the power of positive thinking, and repeatedly told myself in the days before my operation that I was going to make it. It's similar to getting 'psyched up' for a competition - you just have to trick your brain into thinking that it's not a big deal to have surgery. (of course it's much easier said than done!) I had a bit of a panic attack when I found out my surgery date, which gave me chest pains and got me admitted into the hospital earlier than planned. after i was admitted I started thinking positively and my chest pains went away completely. hmmm........

 

[billiejo]

Hi!

Hi!

Ok I can sense the nervousness your feeling now,..I read the other thread before this one. But I feel you completely. Gosh, I just want this behin d me.

 

[Mary]

The waiting really is awful, so the less time you have between setting the date and the actual surgery is usually a good thing.
I waited three weeks, to finish up the school year, and it was the longest three weeks of my life. And I had a group of 27 5th graders to keep me occupied!
I did get my house organized and bought a new kitchen floor, a new high-end refrigerator, and of course, the all important recliner! Maybe you can shop your cares away!
Seriously, I think the best thing you can do is to look towards the future and set a goal for something you would like to accomplish, say six weeks, post-op. Focus on what's beyond the surgery and keep living your life.

 

[hensylee]

I knew that I was going to make it just fine. My health was good and I had lots of faith. What I did, was to sit down and evaluate my life. Then I put all my affairs in order, legally, (something every single one of us should do anyway, but I had put it off), and prepared mentally, watched that tape they gave me several times (it never changed every time I watched it, but I kept trying just in case good news was there and I missed it), got my son and my brother lined up to drive me the night before to the motel so we could just go across the street at 5 a.m. next morning. Lined up my during hospital care w/nurse cousin and aftercare for when I got home. waited til the last day or so to pack the bag because that packed bag is a reminder every time you look at it. Then I just enjoyed every day and the peace of life and the love of my family and friends. whatever dread there was left, dropped away the moment my son opened the door to the hospital - after that moment it was up to someone else and I trusted them. If you really have tremendous stress, I bet your physician would give you something for calming, but don't overuse it. Blessins...........

 

[Bina]

I waited for almost 2 yrs before OHS.....not the best thing to do, but every time my cardio wanted to discuss it I would get nauseous and start to faint. I think he learned to hate me his "el freako" patient.
I refused to watch the pre-surgery video. 2 weeks before my date I did ask for a mild sedative to have on hand if needed. I was comforted just having them in the house and never took one.
Hubby dragged my chicken ass to the hospital and the rest is history.
Post op I did some bead jewellery, needlepoint, and internet shopping.

 

[Tom F.]

I recall pre-surgery as being a rather difficult time, all mentally. I had several months before my surgery, and I think the long time frame made it worse. The only substantive thing that I did was trade in my Del Sol, which was stick and which my wife could not drive, and got her a new car. I did nothing special as to diet or health or anything. My surgery was set for a tuesday, the day before I began my medical leave with a trip for pre-surgery tests, and there I learned that my surgery was put off until that friday. More waiting. But somehow as it really got close I became much more at peace with it all.

 

[AngelaR]

For the spouses

For the spouses

What helped you most that your spouse did? My husband has been very depressed lately and it doesn't seem to matter what I say, I seem to irritate him more. I'm to the point where I am glad when he goes to work so I don't have to feel this tension. Thankfully we only have 6 days left until the surgery.

His family is coming in the night before and he says he thinks that will help. And of course that hurt my feelings because it seems like I'm not good enough. Of course this isn't about me and I am fully aware of that.

I'm just stepping back and letting time slide by.

He says I am acting too nonchalant about the whole thing. But I've done all the reading and have visited this site daily. I KNOW he is going to be OK. If I suggest we talk about if something bad happens then I'm stressing him out. I can't seem to win. So again I'm just stepping back.

If anyone has any insight as to what a better approach is I am open to ideas. I have been buying him loving cards and some gifts. I let him buy a basketball rim that he has been wanting for 3 years ($1K!!!!). Nothing seems to make him happy and it's just getting tiring. Again I know this isn't about me. I just hope next week goes by really fast!

 

[ALCapshaw2]

What helped you most that your spouse did? My husband has been very depressed lately and it doesn't seem to matter what I say, I seem to irritate him more. I'm to the point where I am glad when he goes to work so I don't have to feel this tension. Thankfully we only have 6 days left until the surgery.

His family is coming in the night before and he says he thinks that will help. And of course that hurt my feelings because it seems like I'm not good enough. Of course this isn't about me and I am fully aware of that.

I'm just stepping back and letting time slide by.

He says I am acting too nonchalant about the whole thing. But I've done all the reading and have visited this site daily. I KNOW he is going to be OK. If I suggest we talk about if something bad happens then I'm stressing him out. I can't seem to win. So again I'm just stepping back.

If anyone has any insight as to what a better approach is I am open to ideas. I have been buying him loving cards and some gifts. I let him buy a basketball rim that he has been wanting for 3 years ($1K!!!!). Nothing seems to make him happy and it's just getting tiring. Again I know this isn't about me. I just hope next week goes by really fast!

Angela,

It sounds like you have done all you can do until his surgery is over. Backing off is probably your best course at this time. Try not to let it discourage you.

Has your husband read the posts on VR.com?
If not, he may be lost in his own thoughts and fears without any point of reference. That's not a good place to be.

I hope for the best.

'AL Capshaw'

 

[kfay]

I did what alot of others have already posted....nested. I also knew my husband would do anything I wanted, so I got him to take care of alot of things that had needed to be done around the house. I cooked several meals and put them in the freezer (takeout gets old and meals people bring aren't always something you may like). I bought all new bedding and had my bedroom painted. I also bought some new pj's to take to the hospital that I didn't even wear once.

Good luck to you - it'll be here and over with before you know it.

 

[Bonzo Dog]

Leaky valve permitting, I tried to get as fit as possible before surgery, as I was advised it would help my post op recovery. Body in shape got a positive head on mentally. Had an evening in the pub with close friends a few days before. Then spent time with my partner and then 18 month old, making sure there were lots of photos of me and the toddler for her to look at in in years to come in case it all went wrong; (but why was I wearing that wacky leather flying helmet with the herring gull feather in for most of them? ) also ensured lots of pics of my unscarred chest for later comparison should all go well.

All sorted turned up for surgery, day on the ward in preparation. Shaved and given a pre-med at 7.00am next day; 10.30am told the op was cancelled due to lack of ICU space; I should go home and come back on Monday.

 

[Curtsmum]

At the moment going crazy. As it is my son, i know he is just going to bleed us dry, already had 2 new games today. I take my mind off things by going on ebay for bargains but not really a good idea as there are so many bargains i don't know when to stop . No really is there anything you have always wanted that you can treat yourself to even if it is only small and cheep, or somewhere you have always wanted to go, just try to do something specail as you deserve it. Kind of know what you are going threw how about having a party all the organising is good to help take your mind off things. Hope you find some good idea's and maybe i can get some tips too. Very best of luck, will be thinking of you.

 

[llewis34]

Nesting, as others have said, YES! And getting affairs in order. This was the first time I have had this type of scare so I made sure all of my life insurance, 401k, investments, etc. were handy with the right numbers of who to call just in case. My family was uncomfortable with me sharing this information, but I knew it was the right thing to do. And now that I'm 1 year out, it is done and going forward, God forbid anything happen to me, they know where to find everything.

Also, I planted a TON of flowers! That is what got me out of the house when I was recovering...just picking dead leaves, watering them (making many slow trips to the sink since I couldn't carry a heavy water jug). It was GREAT therapy! Planting them before my surgery was great therapy as well. I was good to plant in pots that were about waist level so that when I was recovering, I wasn't getting on my knees or bending over a lot to care for them. And it was kind of like starting a new life that I could care for as I was starting my new life with my new valve!

Then I also took up online shopping!! Great how they will deliver to your door and you don't have to leave the house. I joked that I would save money by being home for a couple of months recovering. My husband said I would find a way...and I did! ZAPPOS.COM is the greatest! Especially for those of us gals who love shoes!

 

[Marguerite53]

I know exactly what you mean I have thousands of beads and lots of good intentions but hardly ever seem to get around to actually making the jewellery...There are some wonderful websites around, drooling over them will keep you busy for a little while and the beading magazines are also something I like to collect. Maybe there is somewhere local you could do a class in beads/jewellery...its great fun to share your hobby with other beaders. Once you actually start making something it can be very addictive.

.

Hello there!! ONce you said beads I just knew that Tonia would chime in!! She and I had our surgeries just hours apart.

Welcome to this wonderful place. If it weren't for all of these incredible caring and supportive people, I would have gone nuts with the wait. I'm not up to snuff with your story, but it sounds like you've been through this already. Still, not fun waiting.

As for me, I started knitting. There are wonderful yarns out there, cheerful bright colors and textures. If you know how to knit at all (and I don't...just knit, not even pearl or anything) then you can really just while away the time knitting scarves. I have a tall, thin, then teenage daughter with lots of friends. They each got aabout 3 scarves!!!!! It seemed quiet, took no concentration, was soft and colorful and appreciated.

The other thing I did was to go to beautiful places and fill myself with the sights and sounds of nature. With those images to call upon, and the love and support, the whole experience was easy to endure.

GOod luck!

Marguerite

 

[hall]

I am new here and have been reading the posts. A lot of interesting information here. I was lucky, in a way. I was in my doctors office and went into A-Fib. They called the squad and to ER I went. They shocked my heart back to normal. That was on a Tuesday and they replaced my aortic valve on Friday. When they shocked my heart they said they were going to give me medicine so I would not remember the shock and I don't remember much of anything until the day after surgery! At least I did not have to sit and worry about upcoming surgery. It was a surprise. I knew the valve was bad but they told me it could probably wait a couple of years. I have a tissue valve. Just glad it is done.

Deb