I know Drs are good but

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Smedly

Came home today and helena was going thru her jewery box, making a list as to who gets what, when. So, glass of wine time.
 
I didn't think I was really going to die from AVR, but I did secretly write out my obituary and tuck it away where my "Mr. W" would find it if necessary. Is that what you mean? I think a lot of people, when they realize they could die, need to tie up some loose ends. But I didn't want to worry anybody with my worries and I didn't want to be or appear to be melodramatic; thus the secrecy.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. Sometimes things like this are emotionally more difficult for the mates than the patients.
 
I think that is when it really ?HIT HOME? when the wife and I sat in the lawyer?s office signing all those legal papers. :eek: Unfortunately, the legally binding stuff can?t be done with too much secrecy. I am not ?LEGALLY INVOLVED? but, in my opinion, I think anyone facing what we are facing MUST get those papers in order. I also feel the most important document you can draw up is your ?LIVING WILL? giving your loved ones written (and mostly legal) instructions on your wishes and desires. This can sometimes prevent or at least limit those ?Well, he told me he never OR I?m sure he would have wanted to-----? discussions when you can?t participate in the decision process, for whatever reason.

So let somebody know what your legal wishes are in advance. You can hope and pray you never need it but, just like insurance, it will make your family?s burden a little easier.

Now pass the bottle!!!!! :p

May God Bless,

Danny :)
 
Unfortunately, it is a possibility that must be realized. Make sure your will, living will, power of atty and all that legal stuff is up to date. It's not too far fetched to be thinking like that, but it sure is surprising when you wake up.
 
One of the things that made me calm about facing surgery was the knowledge that I had my affairs in order. That is what your wife is doing. It helps.
 
I felt good about the likelihood of a successful outcome for the surgery but it did set my mind at ease knowing I had life insurance and a savings plan to take care of my family if something happened.
 
It probably affected my family far more than it did me when I 'got my affairs in order'. At the time my ex-husband was still the executor of my will and there was insufficient time to change it so I wrote a letter to him to be posted by my friend in the event of me not making it. It began "If you have received this letter then I am dead...". Once I had written that letter telling him where everything financial was kept and had spoken to my sister about funeral arrangements I was able to relax.

I have since made a new will, living will and given my daughter power of attorney.
 
geebee said:
One of the things that made me calm about facing surgery was the knowledge that I had my affairs in order. That is what your wife is doing. It helps.
Click to expand...

Gina,

I agree 100%. I needed to know that things were in order for my sweetie. The legal stuff was a must but the other things were:

Who to call: plumber, heat and air, who to go to for a car, who to call for investments (mine), life insurance contact, 401 contact, tax CPA etc.......

I am sure that there are some things I omitted but you get the idea. These were things she needed to know and that I needed to know she knew. She is a very intelligent resourceful woman so maybe I was doing it more for me who knows, but it made us both feel better. I felt sure I would make it through but one never knows.

Tom
 
I got a rude awakening when I brought home 'the tape'. It told me very little about my bypass surgery but I sure pricked up my ears when it said I could have a stroke or die. Whoa!

And so - I put my affairs in order, too, even tho I had great confidence that I would be just fine.

As to power of attorney - be sure to make a DURABLE power of attorney. When my brother was ill and near death, the power of attorney was refused regarding some of his stuff so we had to have him sign a DURABLE power for us. It was very difficult for him at the time, so do it now. Yes, I know I need to as well. Mine is a power of attorney, but I have a copy of his and should get on to type mine and sign it. And some places want it only six months old.
 
I agree with others that getting your affairs in order "just in case" is a way with dealing with the overall stress of the ordeal. That said, it's a best practice to always have things in order, and let other members of the family know your intentions, who to call, where documents and other important things are, etc., as you never know what's around the next corner. Recently, a husband and wife in a town near here were sitting in their car stopped at a railroad crossing waiting for a train to pass. Another driver slammed into the back of their car pushing them into the path of the train. Both were killed....who would have thought something like this could happen? I think it's important to ease the burden on loved ones by always having everything prepared in advance to make it easy for them just in case the unthinkable happens.

Wishing you and Helena the very best.
 
A week or 2 before surgery, I decided to meet my daughter at the local Subway restaurant....we stuffed our faces, and then I told her about my jewellery, my retirement fund, my wishes for my turtles and goats, etc.
It was done in a fun way, and I felt alot better.

Now pass me that vodka :D
 
Affairs

Affairs

Thank you everyone. Yes, I'm sure you've all been thru this rollercoaster of emotions. good days, bad days.
Bob
 
Smedly said:
Thank you everyone. Yes, I'm sure you've all been thru this rollercoaster of emotions. good days, bad days.
Bob
Click to expand...

"Rollercoaster"?

Hmmm... That really is an excellent and very appropriate analogy!

In the end... Open heart surgery has been one of the greatest rollercoasters I have ever been on.

Who would have thought that 19 months after my valve replacements:

* I would get engaged and be married (7/7/7).
* I would go to Fiji on my honeymoon.
* I would be scuba diving again.
* I would be surfing again.

Next up? Climbing Mount Everest!!!

:)

Ummm. Okay. That was a little aggressive but.... Maybe.

Cheers,

Adam
 
I know how you're feeling. I've been there many times. Having ones affairs in order is a comforting thing for many people. It's hard for a loved one to understand and it can feel scary. But allow Helena to do what makes her feel comfortable. It's a good opportunity to open up and talk about things that no one wants to talk about, but have to be said anyway.

I found that all of Joe's difficulties served to bring us closer. Sort of takes it to a new level. And that is a GOOD thing.

Just go hand in hand with her down the road, and think about how nice it will be when she's all fixed up.
 
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