Who feels like working?

[DaveEM]

Hi All, as I wait for my AVR surgery on 10 December, I'm finding it very difficult to remain focused at work because of the distraction of anticipating the surgery. I wish I could just take off between now and the surgery so I wouldn't have to struggle at work to remain focused and calm. Has anyone ever done this? Or is it better to just try and remain busy at work to make the time go quicker. I am on a small dosage of Atavan from my dr., but it tends to make me feel drowsy and, thus, makes work even more difficult. Any words of wisdom?

Dave

 

[Ross]

No matter what you do, it's going to fester in your mind until the time comes. It's better to try, at least, to stay occupied until it's time. I hope your job isn't one that requires 100% focus because with heart surgery looming, your not going to be 100% focused. I don't care how many times one has gone though it, it still bothers you because you have no control over the situation and you have no idea what the outcome will be.

I would suggest talking with your doc and see if he can get you on something other then ativan. Most all of those will cause drowsiness, but one may work better then the other at a lower dose. I don't know. Just thinking out loud.

 

[Duff Man]

Caveat emptor: Ativan is highly addictive. The same goes for valium, klonopin, xanax, librium, etc.

Most of the anxiolytic drugs are going to cause drowsiness or cloudiness. Ativan in a small dose is pretty tame compared to some other meds that you could be on.

 

[hensylee]

GDaughter just had surgery last week - a different type than heart surgery. Her whole mind was occupied with her upcoming surgery. But then she is one to truly obsess and dwell on everything. (she's already getting stressed about Thanksgiving dinner!) Even so, it is hard to concentrate, knowing your date is ever looming in front of you making it hard to put one's whole mind on the task at work. You might be worse off at home, tho because what would you be doing at home? Might compare. Course there's the taking time off from work depending on how much you can spare from your vacation time, etc. I don't know what I would do. I was already retired so it was not a question for me. Others here, mostly, have jobs so they will tell you what it was/is like for them. I know you will make a good decision. Blessins..........

 

[Eva]

How small is your dose of Ativan? For me, 1/4 mg. is more than enough during the day, and sometime I shave a bit off it. So, check with your doctor to lower the dosage! As for work, it is better to keep your mind busy and try to think of the positive and healthier you ... everybody was advising me to make the waiting time short as it is tough ... I did not want to be affected by their thinking and altered mine to use this time for relaxing my soul and preparing myself mentally and emotionally for the surgery focussing on a healthier me!! The toughest time was the decision making of valve choice and surgeon, and I was exhausted after that and the waiting was a period of relaxation. 'it is easier said than done', but maybe you can too focus on the healthier you and live every day no matter what. Time will fly quickly.

Good luck

 

[DaveEM]

dosage

dosage

How small is your dose of Ativan? For me, 1/4 mg. is more than enough during the day, and sometime I shave a bit off it. So, check with your doctor to lower the dosage! As for work, it is better to keep your mind busy and try to think of the positive and healthier you ... everybody was advising me to make the waiting time short as it is tough ... I did not want to be affected by their thinking and altered mine to use this time for relaxing my soul and preparing myself mentally and emotionally for the surgery focussing on a healthier me!! The toughest time was the decision making of valve choice and surgeon, and I was exhausted after that and the waiting was a period of relaxation. 'it is easier said than done', but maybe you can too focus on the healthier you and live every day no matter what. Time will fly quickly.

Good luck

I'm only taking 1mg of Ativan during the day, and maybe I'll take your advise and only take 1/2 mg to see if that cuts down on the drowsiness. My problem is that I can't relax if I'm all uptight about the surgery. I do find long walks help, though, so I should try to do that more. Re: addiction, I don't plan to take Ativan after surgery, so it'll only be for about 3 weeks. From what i've read, that should not be sufficient to get hooked. I hope! Thanks for everyone's encouragement!

 

[Bina]

My Ativan pills are .5mg and I can break it in half and take that before dental visits, or cardio visits which tend to stress me.
I quit working 4 mths before surgery because I was having too many symptoms.

 

[abbanabba]

Hey Dave, since I've not been able to work for the last 5 years, I actually am at home but even though I've been here checking in and getting other stuff organised for before and after the surgery, I only just realised it's only 2 weeks and 2 days away!! In my mind it's still been "a while off" and so I've not been thinking too much about it in that respect (although I think once December gets here, that might change ).

Because I'm such a control freak I've been getting as much organised as possible so I don't have to worry about it... it has also helped take my mind of the things I won't be able to control.

Not that any of this probably helps you (sorry), but I reckon having something else to occupy my attention would definitely be helpful. If you're struggling with it now, you'd probably find that being at home with nothing else to do even more difficult.

Anyway, hang in there. I'm sure your boss and co-workers understand you may be a little distracted and Dec 10 will be here before you know it.


A : )

 

[Guest]

I wish I could just take off between now and the surgery so I wouldn't have to struggle at work to remain focused and calm. Has anyone ever done this?

No ... but I wish I would have been able to do so. Though, taking that time off would NOT have been because it was hard to focus ... it would've been so I could do a few things before my surgery ... like road tripping, seeing friends, etc.

For my third open heart surgery (January 2003), I knew a month in advance that it was coming. For that month, I had Christmas to be active with plus work. So, I didn't think much about the surgery at all ... until the pre-op stuff the Friday before surgery. Otherwise, I didn't have much trouble concentrating on things.... I can't explain why that was that way for me ... it just was.



Cort | 35swm | "Mr Monte Carlo"."Mr Road Trip" | pig valve.pacemaker ...MidW Blast = 01/17/09
WRMNshowcase.legos.HO.models.MCs.RTs.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort
"You better not try to stand in my way" ... J Paycheck ... 'Take This Job & Shove It'

 

[Eva]

I'm only taking 1mg of Ativan during the day, and maybe I'll take your advise and only take 1/2 mg to see if that cuts down on the drowsiness. My problem is that I can't relax if I'm all uptight about the surgery. I do find long walks help, though, so I should try to do that more. Re: addiction, I don't plan to take Ativan after surgery, so it'll only be for about 3 weeks. From what i've read, that should not be sufficient to get hooked. I hope! Thanks for everyone's encouragement!

Dave, try the half mg, and if you still feel sleepy or drowzy, try the 1/4. I used to take a quarter of a mg during the day which sometimes I shave a bit of it too.
Do you sleep and rest enough at night. I personally could not sleep at all and I - from March 08 till surgery, I took Prozac (20 mg), sleeping pills + sometimes 0.5 mg of Xanax XR (extended release) and 300 mg. Neurontin (it was a miracle for me...it was the only med. that gave me a real restful sleep and a refreshed energetic feeling on wake up). Of course I took all these with dr's approval. He knows I am reasonable and he was not afraid that I would abuse them or get myself addicted to them. This regimen was continued during my stay at the hospital until I returned home and I started feeling better. Now, I sleep naturally especially after I started exercising and I avoid caffeine. No more xanax, no more neurontin, nothing!

Good luck

 

[MaryC]

Dave,
I worked right up until 2 days before my surgery. Knowing what I found out, I am not so sure how soon I would tell people I work with I was having heart surgery. It felt like everyone was trying to really pile things on me before I went out on disability. You would think people would cut you some slack since you had so much stress but that was not my experience. I don't think I would have done better being home thinking about my upcoming surgery. I did get emotional support from some co-workers and it took my mind off of things....as much as possible.

Everyone says this but the waiting is so much the hardest part of this journey. Once I really got into the actual 'thing', it was not at all what I thinking it would be.

Chris

 

[zipper2]

Hi Dave,i'm the lucky one whose surgeon took me off work

I miss work and i don't stay away,however go for coffee with

the gang and visit but not actually working,according to my

surgeon in Sept not till surgery is done which he was planning by

end of Oct. If i had a date i would feel better about being off work

till my surgery,cus i've no date i have done exhausted myself with

christmas baking,christmas shopping ,christmas decorating,not cus

i have to but because my life has no time of surgery and i think k if

they call tomorrow i need this done and that done,then the day goes

by and no call,so what the hell am i worried about.

I could have likely swelled my legs at work as well as at home but

my dr. felt where i work and immunity to catch all i better stay healthy.

for work yet wrote a note sept.22nd that i have severe heart desease

due to valve and will recieve surgery in 4-6 weeks. Haven't heard

and being home drives me nuts .....waiting for the unknow time.

Christmas plans or any plans are out till i have surgery everyones life

is on hold and i really feel work for me would have been better.I

would have been occupied to not waiting as hard about WHEN.

i'm obviously never gonna know when till they call me.

I'm about ready to take some sort of relaxant for all this too

zipper2 (DEB)

 

[ponygirlmom]

I found that getting ready for surgery was a full-time job in itself! Maybe I'm some kind of special case, but it was constant doctors, tests, doctors, tests. When I wasn't seeing doctors and getting tests, I was preparing the house and handling legal and financial matters or talking to people who had had OHS.

Maybe that's why I never had a problem "getting my mind off" surgery. When your mind is on it 100% of the time, you don't feel like it's crowding anything else out!

 

[Marguerite53]

Maybe the walking is very good for your physical relaxation. You also need to consider your emotional relaxation which you are trying to calm with the Ativan. How about this instead? While you are on the walk, can you stop, take a moment and smell the roses so to speak? Really. Stop, sit in the sun. Smell the smells of life around you, take some little snapshots of the people walking by, wonder who they are, where they're going. Listen for some songbirds, hear some water babbling in a brook, look at the clouds, feel the breeze or the mist or the rain on your face. Feel this life. Pull life in. Let that knowledge that you are a part of this larger thing embrace you. Look deeper into the scene around you than you would normally do....searching for that thing that you just didn't notice at first.....the adoring little child laughing with his parent, the perfectly groomed dog trotting faithfully by its master, the shiniest Porsche with the deepest wax job you've ever seen..... whatever! Just bring these things to you. Then when you start to get crazy inside while you are working, just call up one of these images to make you smile. Because smiling is how you can succeed at this. Smile because you know you will be fine. Smile because when you smile at other people they will smile with you and be there for you. The trust, the faith, the calm...... these things are attainable for you even in the day to day. But you do have to kind of look for it around you.

Okay, well I'm kind of odd this way, but I hope it helps. Mary Poppins has left the building now!!

And by the way... we all went pretty nuts waiting, so you are in fine company there!!


Marguerite

 

[George]

Approaching the summit

Approaching the summit

We often use the analogy of "climbing the mountain" on this forum to describe the experience of having surgery. You are doing the hard climbing now! The anxiety of the last 2 weeks is the worst part. Once you are rolled into surgery, you've reached the summit. Yes, the climb back down can be a challenge. But the real work...strain...fear of the unknown...is just ahead. I can assure you that you'll look back on what you are going through at this point, & agree that approaching the summit was the hardest part...but worth it!

 

[Woodbutcher]

By the time I've read through that lot I've pretty much forgotten the question... Marguerite, you're a star and Dr Starr is too by the sound of it, operating on George in 1965 and again in 2005, what an amazing world my dicky heart has dropped me into, sergeons and patients alike.
It's monday morning and I should be at work, but like Dave I'm finding so difficult to focus, and being a carpenter using very sharp tools all day, focus is paramount ! My Cardio has advised me to down tools but I dont have a date for surgery yet, just sometime in the next 3 months ! It's a nightmare to know what to do for the best, mentally and physically. There's no easy answer to this one, but I suppose if you cant focus on the job, you're better off taking some time away from it. However, I'm self emlpoyed with no loss of earnings insurance so it'll be tough for a while, but I have to trust the Cardios advise.
Your op is on the 10th December which will be apon us is no time, so if I were you I'd put my feet up and focus on Shiny Porshes, prayer flags and the murmer of the brook (see Marguerite...) instead of work ? The best of luck though.
For me I'm going to try and finish work this week, stay at home playing my fiddle, reading and trying to relax.

 

[Cameron]

I have read a lot of the threads on the forum regarding the wait. I guess I am lucky. I do think about the surgery off and on, but always in a positive way i.e. after the surgery won't it be great to be able to do....... Perhaps my family circumstances remove from me some of the more worrisome things that may cause others concern - I have no children; my financial situation is good so I don't have to worry about my wife, should anything go wrong; I have always been a good healer; and although I am a baby when it comes to pain, I have been reassured by all the "after" stories on the forum and now am not even thinking about that element.
Perhaps it would help to narrow down exactly what it is that you are worrying about - finances, pain, death, children, wife etc. and try to either put in place as good a plan as you can, or to drill into that fear on the forum to get specific support from others to help you manage it. Once you have isolated the fear into manageable bits it might be easier to calm them with specific action.
I am an engineer and perhaps that helps me with looking at this time in a more analytical way. I look at my particular issue as a pretty simple fluid mechanics problem - faulty valve, replace it, and trust and believe in the technical expertise of the team. From an engineering point of view every one of us puts our faith in complex machines, and the skill of the people who design and build them, every day of our lives - bridges, tunnels, high rise buildings, aeroplanes etc. etc. so I just see the surgery as an extension of this.
I just retired in February on my Freedom 55 plan and was diagnosed 6 months later with severe aortic stenosis. I am at home and had been puttering about doing my family genealogy. More recently I have been filling my time writing my "Memoirs" - basically recalling my early childhood and making it into a story to give to my nieces and nephews. Once I start trolling around in my head for these recollections time just flies by. Personally, I would have thought that having a job requiring concentration would have helped in overriding the wider concerns for the more pressing concerns of the moment, however, I know everyone is different and hope that all the replies here will help you chart a more relaxed course to the "top of the mountain".
Cameron

 

[DaveEM]

Get a life

Get a life

Hi all, your words are so helpful. I appreciate the advise about slowing down and smelling the roses. I do try to do that, but obviously need to do it more. Work is a pain because I work in a big bureaucracy and people get upset or worked up about the most stupid things and that just drives me crazy! I feel like yelling, "get a life", or "life is too short", etc. When I have to deal with these things, my upcoming surgery comes to mind, and I feel like just saying, I don't give a sh*t! So, sometimes that's why I wonder if just staying home will relieve some of my stress. On the other hand, my immediate co-workers and boss(es) have been very understanding and supportive, so perhaps being around them and busy helps.

As far as what makes me anxious, it's not one thing. I tend to worry in images. I have repeated images of me on the operating table, me in ICU, me trying to get out of bed and hurting, etc. (I know, it's all about me!! LOL). So, it's hard to stop the images and get them out of my mind.

Anyway, I know I'll cope and the day will come, so I just have to deal with it. It's very comforting having y'all out there rooting for me and the others in the same boat. At least I know I'm not alone!

Very best regards,

Dave

 

[kfay]

Dave, I will take the post -op stuff anyday compared to the stress and worry of the pre-op stuff. I know it is easier said than done, but I would quit worrying about being on the table, and being in the ICU. You really will have very little recollection of that time if any at all. As for getting up and out of the bed, they will teach you how to do that where it causes minimal pain (and if not, that is what that pain pump is for!).

You'll do fine. This truly is the worst part.

Kim

 

[Dale]

Hi Dave -- I know what you are going through. I will find out my date soon (hopefully early in January) and it's miserable waiting. One more tip for you --- MUSIC -- play your favourite, play country hurtin' songs, music from your teenage years, opera. Beatles, Led Zepplin, Motown, jazz -- whatever helps.
All the best to you!