scared about surgery

[inventory]

Hello everyone
This is really my first response on VR.com since creed gave me this site from another site.
I have been reading about everything by everyone for at least a month now and this site is VERY informative.
I have been testing for 10 months now and just had a heart cath done on Wed. The good news was there are no blockages or coronary disease. But as to what has been said all along my MVP with mod-severe regurg. is not getting any better. I met with a surgeon and we set the surgury date for Feb 4th. Needless to say I hate to admit I am very scared because this will be my first time in the hospital and for such a serious operation. I am 53.
I know all of you are very encouraging out there but with a little over a week to go does anyone have any encouraging words I personally can use.
Again, this scares the heck out of me but reading all your good experiences after surgery what can I expect?
Thank you all very much, and keep up the good work on this site.

 

[mamsram]

wow, close date

I hope what I have to say won't sometimes sound too morbid, but may because of my outlook on life in general, but I hope it helps

I have had two ops in my life 1. umbilical hernia,age 55, 2. ear drum repair (firecracker) age57. Both events were actually pleasant--- I got a lot of attention, I enjoyed the calming effect of the pre-op sedative, and the feeling of euphoria coming out of the operation. THEN-- the hard stuff, controlling pain--living normal while still sensitive and aware that my body was in a state of repair. And dealing with it.

I will, at sometime, be where you are--time closing in. I see the time to the operating room as their problems, I'm just an idle bystander. I'm sure I'll be calm--sedative, then into the operating room, a little conversation , and out like a light to la-la land---no problem, no matter what happens I have no control, but I don't know anything, anyway. Even if you die (unlikely), you won't know it. Then the hard part again, only this time harder than ever. It will be more painful, longer to recover, longer to be back to normal living, but it is over, you are fixed, you are in recovery, life can continue, hopfully in a manner to which you are accustomed to.

This is how I look at my situation, others may see it differently, but It's good to see things through the eyes of others--good luck--wishing you the BEST

 

[wlaldridge]

Welcome to this wonderful site-

I know where you are and where you are coming from. No one was more frightened or anxious than I was last August and early September.

I look back and can only say, folks here made all the difference. The waiting and anxiety were far worse (though less life threatening) than the actual surgery and recovery. All the docs and hospital workers, nice as they were, did not begin to help as much as the fine folks here. I can not express my thanks to them.

You will be fine. The doctors and teams at the hospital do these surgeries as "routine" now. But, they do not take it lightly nor do they promise what they can not deliver. It is serious business and that is the way they treat it.

Three to five days in the hospital is the norm and I still can not believe that. Pain is NOT going to be a problem, they will manage it for you and don't be afraid to request drugs if you feel much pain.

It is not a walk in the park, but there are many here that have gone through multiple surgeries and face more. My AVR at age 59 seems like a non event compared to what others here have undergone.

I found that getting my house in order was a calming thing, I was still doing "one more thing" at 1a.m. while my wife, three sons, their wives and the dogs all slept. I went to the hospital at 4:30 a.m. feeling calm and wanting a donut as we drove by the Krispy Kreme(did not get one though).

I believe the family had a tougher time than I did just because I was in such good hands and being cared for by pros. The family does all the waiting and worrying from that point on.

Your recovery will begin in ICU and you will get better and better each hour and day. It will amaze you how you progress.

Come here often and get all your questions out and vent your frustrations and and anxiety.

You have a lot of friends you don't even know, right here and we will be pulling for you and thinking good thoughts for your progress.

Best

Bill

 

[Ross]

Being scared is a normal reaction. What mamsram said is true though. You'll be sedated and won't know a thing until it's over and even then you'll be sedated and won't care. You have to look at it as something that you have no control over, and that's what scares everyone, you have to let go and let the creator take over. The best advice I can give you is to have someone act on your behalf while your in the hospital. Nurses are stretched pretty thin and having someone there to help you in their absence is a must, in my opinion.

Control is the name of fear. When you lose control, it's as scary as it gets. Hand the control over to the creator and the surgeon. Try not to worry about it. I know it's easier said then done, but it's not as big of a deal as all of it sounds. Todays medical technology is very amazing.

You'll be fine and back to your old self in a few short weeks. Better, faster, stronger, and more enlightened then you've ever been.

 

[epstns]

Inventory, you have come to the absolute best place on this earth to learn about valve surgeries. I am also new to all this, probably a while earlier in the process than you are, but have been just as scared. The support from friends here has made an immeasurable difference for me.

You must have done something awfully right, too, in that Bill and Ross seem to have taken kindly to you. They are among the experts here, and both can be painfully direct. But read their posts well, as they have a wealth of information that you won't find anywhere else.

Stay well and smooth the path for those of us who follow.

SteveE

 

[alex1307]

Hi,

It looks like we are similar - I'm 52, live in NJ, have MVP with severe leaking, facing a surgery (don't know when yet), never stayed in a hospital before, scared also.

Don't worry too much, statistics is on our side, you will feel much better after. It's like a troubling tooth - you need to force yourself to go to the dentist, but after all done you think "why I suffered and postponed for so long?".

By the way, who is your surgeon?

Good luck,
Alex

 

[Christina]

Inventory,

Consider yourself normal! We were all scared before this event. I also was 53 when I had to have this surgery, but without it I wouldn't be alive today. So please consider this a "life saving" surgery because that is what it is. The doctors that perform these surgeries know what they are doing and are very skilled, so you must put your trust in them. Before the event you must gather as much information as possible. The more educated and informed you become the less scary it will be for you. You have the support of many people, because most of us have been where you are today. Ask away and someone will come along shortly to answer any question you have.
Just remember we are here to hold your hand and help you to the other side of the mountain (as we call it).

Take care!

Christina
AVR's 8/7/00 & 8/18/00
Tucson, AZ.

 

[pegne]

Inventory

Inventory

First of all welcome to this great site. I remember you from heart valve center online forum. I want you to know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers leading to and the day of your surgery. It is something we all have been through and all survived. You will too. Please believe me when I say that the hardest part is the wait. Try to keep yourself as busy as possible. Before you know it the day will be here and over with. I personally have done it 4 times and believe it or not, it's not as bad as you would think. Good luck to you.

 

[inventory]

Thanks to all

Thanks to all

Hello again to everyone who responded. After reading this site for more than a month I expected all the good answers. I really appreciate all the candid answers and believe me I am trying to stay calm. My wife says I do to much reading of all the chat rooms and that upsets me even more. But as you all say that is where you learn what is going on.
Again thank you all and I will be following up until surgery on 2/4 and after.
Alex, I go to Our Lady of Lourdes in Camden, and was recommended highly of Dr. Joseph Kuchler.
As you can tell I am in s.jersey. How about you?
Take care everyone and thanks.

 

[alex1307]

As far as I know this hospital is very-very-very good, and it's famous because of its very experienced nurses - so you will be in good hands.

And my wife also thinks that I spend too much time trying to educate myself about my condition. Because after almost whole day of surfing I'm really pale... But I think it makes sense just to learn this specific language to speak with doctors.

I'm in central Jersey (monmouth) and Camden is out of limits of my insurance.

Very best wishes,
Alex

 

[Creed3]

Hi Inventory!
Your surgery date is my daughter's first birthday. I'm glad you decided to check out this site. It really does help you get through those tough moments when you think there is no way I can go through this. Everyone here will be very honest and supportive. There isn't much more I can really add that someone else hasn't already told you. Believe it or not, I was in your shoes 4 months ago and I was so so scared. I swore I was never going to see my children again. The absolute worst part was the waiting and thinking about what could happen. I'm sure everything will go just fine with your surgery. Again, this has become routine for most cardiac surgeons. What type of valve are you getting? Mechanical? You are so young. I won't sugar coat the recovery. In the beginning they will have you on some good pain meds. The first week or so you will feel like you were hit by a train. The second week or so it will feel like an 18 wheeler ran you over. The third week, a truck, the fourth a car etc...but it really isn't as bad as the waiting is. Look at your recovery on a week to week basis, not on a day to day. You will really notice a bigger difference that way. Please have someone let us know how things go with your surgery. We will all be thinking and praying for you on the 4th. I'm sure you will have a lot of questions and concerns after the surgery as well. Please ask whatever you need or if you just need to vent, we are here to help. Once this is over you will be on your way to a much healthier you. Just realize that this is a major surgery and it does take time to fully recover. Don't expect to be 100% at 4 weeks post op, like I did. You will feel much better by then, but it takes the whole body awhile to recover from this.

Take Care & Good Luck!
Gail

 

[richie rich]

hi inventory

welcome to the site.

please try not to be scared. the surgery really is not that bad. it is the anticipation that is usally the worst part. i had know for 3 years that i would need AVR one day. my doc called me on Dec. 3rd and told him that I probably needed surgery. two days later the cardiac cather. confrimed it. Dec. 26th I went in at NYU and 5 days later I am home watching tv. the worst part for me was watching my wife and mother suffer. they feared the worst ( i cant' blame them after everything we went thru last year ). once i was out of surgery their worrying stopped. then there nagging started. don't do this and don't do that. especially my mom, she lives with us. she always brings up the time when i was 7 and got bite by a Army German shepard ( the dog actually riped a piece of my leg off ). i was supposed to stay in bed for a few weeks meanwhile I would be sliding down the stairs and crawling up the stairs. it used to drive her crazy. now she is telling him not to lift this and not to lift that. and once again it goes in one ear and out the other.

anyway stay strong. don't just sit around and wait for the surgery. watch some tv, read a book, sleep, build a house just don't spend all day harping on it. having the surgery will be the best thing that will happen to you this year. you know why????????
because it will prolong your life and making life worth living for. god bless.

rich

 

[Granbonny]

Hi Inventory..

Hi Inventory..

First, could we have a first name? ..I am age 62 and doing great...10 Months tomorrow post op (I'll take some balloons, Ross.)..I remember the staff being so friendly prepping me and then zonk..good stuff..woke up 2 days later..NO pain..just very relaxed...but I had my daughter with me 5/24 hr....she helped with bathroom, up walking, ect..Then came home and was spoiled by hubby cooking..ect. Just a very slow recovery at first. Then WALK a lot and you will be back into the swing of things in 4-6 weeks. Bonnie

 

[inventory]

Name

Name

sure bonny,
sorry inventory used to be a former job about 7 years ago.
My name would be Al
Take care and thanks for the thoughts

 

[Nancy]

Hi Inventory-aka Al-

Welcome to this fantastic site. Everyone here "gets it" regarding valve surgery and beyond. My husband is the patient here, but I do all his computing because he likes to stay low tech, LOL. He's been through a ton of stuff including 3 valve surgeries and he's still here and fighting the good fight.

You have had so many good answers already, and what I'm going to stay will no doubt duplicate what others have said, but no matter, the more you hear it the more you will realize that this surgery is a lifesaver and once you have gotten over the initial healing phase, you will start to feel better than you have for a long time.

The surgeons who train to do this work are in and out of people's hearts a couple of times every day. They have seen it all as far as heart problems, and unless you have something very weird and different, they have seen your problem and know how to fix it without any hesitation. The hardware (mechanicals) and software (tissue valves) that are used are high tech and are fixed up and tailor made to fit into your heart. They come in all different sizes and all different configurations.

They will put together the very best surgical team to work on you and you will have one to one care right after surgery. You will come out of the recovery room into a room that looks like a mad scientists lab. It's got all kinds of gadgets and lights and machines and alarms, all geared to keeping your first few days safe. You will be amazed that they will soon have you transferred to the step down unit, in most hospitals, where you will still have fantastic nursing care, and you will be up and out of your bed and walking before you can hardly believe it. You'll only be in the hospital about 5-7 days. Some people have gone home sooner. Hard to believe, isn't it?

All of your pain will be well managed, and most people say it's uncomfortable, but not as bad as they had imagined.

So just keep remembering that the surgery is a lifesaver, the stay in the hospital is relatively short and then all that's left is the healing and some medication adjustments. A couple of months down the road and you'll be a new man.

Take the time between now and your surgery to read as many posts as you can. It's scary to do at first, but trust me when I say that the more you know, the less fearful you will be.

So welcome aboard and we hope to see you here often.

 

[alicia]

Good luck to you Al! You will do fine. Im 42 and just had mitral valve replacement on Jan 6. This was my 2nd open heart surgery. my first was a repair in 2001 and almost 2 years later I had to have the valve replaced with a St Judes mechanical. Im feeling great! Im still sore and my staples are driving me crazy but I am a survior as Im sure you are and will be.

lean on us anytime and dont be afraid to ask questions. Are you getting a mechanical valve? Im managing my Coumadin just fine. If you get a mecahnical you will have to be on Coumadin and its not as hard to manage as I thought. All my friends here give me a wealth of information.

Keep us updated please. You will be in my prayers!!!

 

[Don]

Al & Ram -- Both of You

Al & Ram -- Both of You

Hi Al, and Hi again Ram,
Both of you -- it ain't that bad. And I continue to claim the title of the biggest scary cat of all time. I had 14 years to worry about it.
I had my surgery nine months ago at age 68. It all went pretty smoothly. I had outpatient rectal surgery 5 years before that and that recovery hurt one heck of a lot more than the AVR surgery. If you can find anyone who has had both, ask them.
I don't wish to minimalize your fears, but my biggest recovery problems were: 1'st, a bout of gout under the left knee the first day I was out which left me unable to walk for 24 hrs, then all gone never to return; 2'nd: a dizzy spell 10 days after surgery which scared the heck out of me for the rest of the day; 3'rd: being able to only walk around the house once after the 9'th day post op (now at 5 miles); 4'th: a cold after the 14'th day. After and including those events it was all an upward sloping saw tooth recovery curve. Pain was not an issue -- I just gobbled my paid meds -- and did not get addicted.
Ram, what are your thoughts as to when???
Best wishes to the both of you.
Don
AVR; MI; 4/02; Cosgrove; CCF; Bovine Tissue

 

[hensylee]

Hey, Al - sounds pretty normal to me. Ain't any of us who weren't scared before surgery. If you can think of this procedure as your very own personal miracle, it might help you to see it in a whole different light. You are going to be just fine. Just think of all the people whose posts you have read - they are doing very well in the main. And you will, too. Once you become a member here, there are always prayers going for you and we travel along with you and up the mountain, over the top and to the best side where the good stuff is. We usually dread what is ahead and unknown but once we get there, it isn't nearly like we felt it was going to be. Doesn't help much right now, but there it is and afterward you will come back in here and say the same words we have all said to you. I wish you the very best in the coming weeks - and my prayers are among those already going. God bless

 

[inventory]

surgery

surgery

Thanks Nancy-
Your kind words and everyone on these chat boards can't be any nicer. I will continue to read and update as the days before and after surgury.
Again thanks so much to everyone.
Al

 

[mamsram]

hi Don,

Because I am without symptoms its hard to be motivated. I asked my Dr., his opinion, he holds up his two index fingers about a foot apart and says " between these two points you will have symptoms, Idealy, the point where symptoms start is here,( a mark between his two index fingers) we would like to operate just before that point, but the problem is we don't know where that point is."
I do know that the echo checks for changes that will tell you, but , you don't do them on a wekly basis, and some, like Bill Waldridge, had rapidly declining heart stats, without symptoms, so.....

At this point, if I was confident in my choice of hospitals, I would most likely make a move within a couple of months. I HATE HAVING SUCH A LACK OF KNOWLEDGE! oh well!
I hope I get ahead of the symptoms.