Questions for Mom's who have had OHS...

[deek]

I'm a 35 year old mom having my Mitral Valve Repaired on March 20th and my main concern is my 34 month old daughter. She IS a mommy's girl and I worry about her. I know there are a lot of us (young mom's who have had OHS) out there and am interested in hearing your stories. What did you tell them? Did they come see you in the hospitol? What kind of challenges did you endure while recovering? My husband is taking the whole month of April off and my mom will be staying with us for a while as well (and she does love her Nana) but naturally she is my main concern right now. Thanks in advance for sharing your experiences.

Dee

 

[kfay]

My children were older than yours (11 & 14) when I had my surgery last year, so much different circumstances. I would only tell her that your going to get your heart fixed or something to that effect, she is too young to understand much of what is going on and you don't want to cause her more anxiety. As for the hospital visits, I vote no on that one. You will not look good at first and all the tubes and wires may cause her some distress. Hopefully, you will be in the hospital for a week or less. She'll survive not seeing you during that time frame. By the time you get home, you'll be walking and looking a little more like your self. You'll just need to keep her from jumping on you and know that you can't pick her up. Instead, have her crawl up into your lap on the sofa or bed.

It sounds like you've got good help lined up. You'll be surprised at how each day you get a little stronger and are able to do a little more. I think I was able to cook an easy meal by week 2 and actually went to the grocery the day I arrived home from the hospital.

Good luck to you, you'll do fine

Kim

 

[laurad37]

HI Dee, I am a mom to 5 children ages 4,6,10,12,13. I am scheduled for OHS on 3/23. I have been honest with them. Just tell them age appropriate things. I had a pacemaker put in almost 3 yrs ago but ended up in ICU for 9 days. My youngest was only one at the time and she is a mommas girl. Kids are resiliant. I do plan on having my hubby bring them to see me after I am out of ICU. My hubby is taking off of work for a couple weeks as well and then my mom is going to come for a week. Good luck with everything. I am sure your daughter will be fine.

 

[Eva]

Hi Dee,

I am not a mom. A 5-year-old third cousin twins came to visit me with a big smile on their faces and a drawing they made for me. They were not allowed to enter the ICU, but we waved from afar. My hubby went out to speak to them, and amazingly they proudly with confidence told my hubby not to worry....they tried (so cute) to explain to my hubby about the heart and the valves and how they function and how important it is to be replaced I, first, did not believe my husband, but was convinced when he kept smiling and repeating how he was amazed with them. These kids' parent are both pediatricians, but I am sure any kid can be prepared the same way...a chance to learn something at a young age and be assured of the hope that mom will be much better later...these are facts of life they face now or later. When they came home to see me, they repeated to me what their parents explained to them about the heart and valves and they were so happy that we appreciated what they knew...they felt proudly smar!

Good luck...we all appreciate hopes, whether old or young!

 

[Lisa in Katy]

My kids were 5 & 7 at the time of my surgery. I told them I was going to the hospital to get my heart fixed, which is as much detail as they really needed. I felt and looked great after the first 24 hours, so they came to see me every day once I was out of ICU. They played with the bed while I wasn't in it, autographed my heart pillow, ate my jello, and one day each went home with a balloon made from a rubber glove that one of the nurses blew up for them. Play it by ear, but my guess is that you will be ready to see them after a couple of days. I wanted to see that they were okay, just like they wanted to see that I was! They kept going to daycare just like always and my mom and/or husband were always there to get them in the afternoon so their routine didn't change much.

 

[Creed3]

My two girls

My two girls

were 3 years old and seven months when I had my surgery.
My circumstances were a little different than yours but for the most part I told my three year old that Mommy's heart just needed to have some fixing done and that the doctors were going to take care of that.
My girls didn't visit me in the hospital because I was flown out to Cleveland for emergency surgery. I did talk to them on the phone once I was in a regular room.
The only thing that effected my three year old was that when I went to a doctor in Philadelphia to get another opinion they sent me directly to the hospital and flew me out to Cleveland. My daughter was expecting me to be home for dinner that same evening and I wasn't. I didn't see her for ten days. For a little while after my surgery she was afraid to leave my side. Especially when I went to the doctors. She thought that I wouldn't come back again for a long time. She was in preschool at the time and between my husband and I and the preschool we were able to help her work through all of that fear.
My three year old was very careful with me and I just didn't try picking her up for quite a few weeks after. I couldn't help but want to hold my seven month old when I saw her. Again, I didn't pick her up but I had family pick her up and set her on my lap so I could snuggle with her. I had to be very careful. If either one of them became a little too squirmy they had to get down. I know there were times that my in-laws didn't think I should be holding my baby but I just had to be near her. Everyone was careful.
I had help for about six to eight weeks after my surgery. My husband and my family along with my in-laws came to help.
I hope this helps some.

Take Care
God Bless
Gail