note to moms

[Megan]

for all you ladies whove been through the ringer and then had to come home to houseful of kids and working husbands...AAHHHH! today was not a good day on the homefront for me. Neither kid- age 4 and 6-listened at all..it has been raining for 30 days straight i think so we are all going stir crazy.. i yelled so loud at my son that I think i must have pulled a muscle in my chest- need to calm down and quiet down and find more help and playdates to get them out of the house..im not sure im quite up to par with having them home all day everyday yet for summer vacation. I must also have some post op depression going on cause i was crying about everything today for no reason..my aching bach, ed mcmahon, the metro crash, the rain, the rain the rain.. i could use some prayers for dry and sunny weather so I can get out and do my little walks and raise my spirits up out of the monsoon in the east.!

 

[Kathy McCain]

I am so sorry you are having a difficult time! Yes, I am certain that part of the problem is post surgery depression. The weather is not helping of course! Combine that with two young children! Whew, you're a brave lady! I had three, the youngest has just recently left the nest. I know EXACTLY HOW YOU MUST FEEL! Take a lot of deep breaths, keep them busy as much as you can with indoor activities, and keep repeating to yourself, "This too shall pass!"

Prayer also helps. Good luck!

 

[Bina]

Make it a priority tomorrow to get some help with those little monkeys.
You need a break, and the kids will do better with a change too.

 

[Kathy McCain]

Great idea Bina! I don't know why I didn't think of that. If you do have relatives, or some close friends to help Megan, that would be great!

Take care

 

[Lisa in Katy]

My babies are 16 & 18, but at the time of my surgery they were 5 & 7, so I know how you feel. Fortunately my husband took them to daycare in the morning and picked them up in the afternoon so I could rest as needed. Once I was able to drive, I would pick them up earlier when I was feeling good. Make a playdate for them or find a daycamp! They will like it and you will too.

I'll be praying that the rain comes our way. I think we are on 50+ days with no rain and we're supposed to have several 100+ days in the next few weeks. They have already banned fires and fireworks. Humidity is low though - 65% - so it does cool off an night. Right now it's 83.

 

[Marguerite53]

Hi Megan. I can't imagine having had my surgery when my kids were little (they were all 3 college age). You really, really must be exhausted.

Cry me a river about rain, though (hey! I live in Oregon!! ) Seriously, I DO understand. One June it was like that. I had Grampa take them to ToysRUs so many times for new indoor toys!!! Didn't do any good. Everyone was cranky.

Maybe you could try this. Get a piece of paper and a pencil. Make some milk and cookies and all 3 of you sit down at the kitchen table. Talk about how frustrating it is to be stuck inside and tell them that you are out of ideas. You need them to come up with some ideas. They really may be inspired by your honesty. Start writing everything down. Just brainstorm. You may have some really funny conversations while you are doing this!!! No time limit... let it run its course. Talk about what other families must be doing in the rain, or friends of theirs. Then you can go back over the items and make a preference list with them.... let's see..... which one can we do first (or never, of course..... ). If you give them the opportunity to make some choices, they might stay occupied longer and be happier!

Hang in there!

Marguerite

 

[halleyg]

Hi Megan,
I can relate, my kids were 4 and 6 also when I had both of my surgeries... it really is tough when you are trying to recover and also to keep going full speed ahead. The depression doesn't help either, nor does all that rain! Even when you have help, it is still hard. I have my mom not too far away, and I had a cleaning service for a while during that time, but it's still difficult. You probably feel like you just need a good length of time by yourself, I know the feeling. My then-4 year old was too young to understand, and my oldest is very sweet and tried to help out, but at the end of the day, they're kids and I would have never expected them to understand or stop being kids and being bored and wanting me to be well... All I can say is hang in there, it does get better with time. I wish I could offer you some other advice, but just wanted to let you know I've been there, too.

 

[Megan]

thanks you everyone! it helps to hear all your sympathy

 

[jax]

megan so sorry to hear you are having a hard time of it. hang in there and definitely find some help for the kids. you need to be able to take it easy when you feel the need to rest. and kids at that age are definitely a handful. i am sure that the rain has really gotten to you as well as i wouldn't be able to handle being stuck in the house day after day because it was raining either. chin up it will get better.

 

[laurad37]

I can totally understand. I am a mother of 5... ages 14,13,11,7 and 4... I am 2 months post op and I have gone through and still go through what you are going through. It just hasn't been raining for 30 days. I asked for advise from this forum a few times when it came to my family and the house. If at all possible schedule the playdates at the other persons home to give you a bit of a break. Believe it or not a 4 and 6 yr old can help... One of the best suggestions given to me from this forum was to make a list of the things you cant do and put it on the fridge for hubby and kids... My family looks at everyday and helps with the list and crossed things off. My 4 yr old loves to vacuum and dust... my 7 yr old likes to help the older ones or help me cook.

I would also ask your doctor to maybe prescribe something to take like an anxiety med... I asked for something and my doctor was very happy to help. Hope things get better for you.

 

[Cris N]

I second everything Laura said... call your dr about some meds - it could really help. It did for me. Mine prescribed anti-anxiety - they started working right away - didn't need to wait a couple of weeks for it to get going.