Not doing surgery

[newarrior]

Anyone thought of not doing surgery ? I'm not afraid of passing away in fact I'm looking forward to not being alive and surgery looks very intrusive. What's the point if you don't have any family or any reason to live and your severely depressed already?

 

[pellicle]

Whats the point.....................

I'm asymptomatic with severe aortic stenosis (Bicuspid valve) and ascending aneurysm that needs replacing. Surgeon says 98% success (really????) and recommends a mechanical valve with dacron replacement of ascending aorta. I really struggle with the concept of walking into a hospital as I feel...

www.valvereplacement.org

A bit fat cup of reality.......................

Even in my woe and melancholy 'oh why me' posts I'm beginning to agree I need this surgery ( actually I have no choice obviously). I saw (somewhat unbelievably) my Cardiologist in person for the first time today (COVID restrictions), its been 7 months since diagnosis and I've seen the surgeons...

www.valvereplacement.org

 

[newarrior]

This has always been my dream==to be dead---god bless heart disease)

 

[pellicle]

This has always been my dream==to be dead---god bless heart disease)

well read Janner Johns full thread, his turn around too.

I think you'll find that after it gets bad you'll wish you just did it now.

So, take my advice and just do it now.
Either that or if you want to be dead, then I recommend a good heroin overdose. Personally I leant towards the 12Guage in the mouth. However 10 years later I've managed to have had 10 years of living ...

We each make our own decisions, but as a Finish friend of mine said "its a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Your problem is that you're just too gutless to play the hand of cards you've been dealt and actually live life.

There are no right answers, we all end up dead, so the trick is to be honest to yourself, stop whinging about "why" and just get the problem fixed.

 

[AZATADINE]

Anyone thought of not doing surgery ? I'm not afraid of passing away in fact I'm looking forward to not being alive and surgery looks very intrusive. What's the point if you don't have any family or any reason to live and your severely depressed already?

Nope. Why not do surgery? I lost my brother 2 years ago to a rare, aggressive, untreatable, thoracic sarcoma. 5 months he got after his diagnosis. He would have done anything to live, anything. Unfortunately, it didn't respond to the many horrific treatments that he tried, right until a couple of days before he passed away at 48 years old with a wife and 4 young kids left behind.

Any ailment or disease that you can confidently go into a hospital and expect to walk out with a "fix" done, you should grab it with both hands.

 

[Sue]

Anyone thought of not doing surgery ? I'm not afraid of passing away in fact I'm looking forward to not being alive and surgery looks very intrusive. What's the point if you don't have any family or any reason to live and your severely depressed already?

Please don’t give up on life. Every human life matters. I hope you’ll seek counseling.

 

[Yankeeman2]

Anyone thought of not doing surgery ? I'm not afraid of passing away in fact I'm looking forward to not being alive and surgery looks very intrusive. What's the point if you don't have any family or any reason to live and your severely depressed already?

Pretty pessimistic and suicidal outlook on life. You may choose to not have heart surgery, but certainly need to talk to a mental health professional. Life, however difficult, IS worth living, even if you have no family. There are other people out there you can help, with a simple smile, a kind word, or friendship. And there are lots of medications (I take several) which help make you great full to see the sun rise in the morning.

 

[pellicle]

Any ailment or disease that you can confidently go into a hospital and expect to walk out with a "fix" done, you should grab it with both hands.

I'm sure you already know this, but NW has an an extensive history here posting "woe is me" and "nobody understands" (perhaps exclusively) rather than making any progress.

He's either after attention or is genuinely mentally handicapped ... either way he's going to whinge and there is nothing you can say that will change that.

I can say that he's burned through professional psychiatrists and members of this forum who live in Thailand and have had contact with him.

I genuinely feel sorry for the guy, but there's a saying in surf lifesaving: don't get drowned by the person your trying to save.

Do not imagine that nobody has listened or tried to help him. That is false.

 

[tom in MO]

There are some religions that believe one should let nature take its course. This isn't because their lives are bad or unsatisfying, it's because of memento mori. That's not suicide.

Dying of progressive failing heart disease is not comfortable and can involve a lot of long term suffering. Read some literature about the suffering of people with heart disease in the early 20th century or before. Getting your stenosis treated is probably not as bad as slowly losing the ability to function as your heart fails.

It sounds like you are clinically depressed and should get some help.

 

[Chuck C]

Letting yourself die of valve disease, instead of getting it treated, my not go as smoothly as you imagine.

You will likely get symtoms, shortness of breath, always feeling like you can't get enough oxygen, chest pains with increasing sharpness and eventually fainting spells, which could end up with bad and painful outcomes. I would expect that it would not be a matter of going gently into that good night, but would involve some suffering.

As you know, I would encourage you strongly to choose life and get the surgery.

 

[pellicle]

it would not be a matter of going gently into that good night, but

rage ... rage against the dying of the light ... just have the surgery will ya, then at least you can come here and whinge about how you're worried about the INR management of worry about your Lp(a) levels are the cause for that failing early.

If you can't decide flip a coin (no, I'm not joking either option of bioprosthesis or mechanical will be good for you for various reasons).

PS: God I hate Dylan Thomas ... such a whinger.

 

[oo0My_Valve0oo]

Just because someone wanted something and could not get it does not have any bearing on whether I would or would not want that same thing.

I am very spiritual. I feel a close connection to the source, the force, the whatever. I have been comfortable with leaving this world for most of my life. I am at the age of the new 50. I have felt like I am at a fence looking at the tarmac wanting to get on board a flight out of here since I was in my high school years. I take it day by day. When the heart valve gave out I considered death but concluded it was not time.

I had valve replacement surgery last year. Opted for a biological valve for several reasons. In doing so I guaranteed another surgery if I live that long. Perhaps it was my complete lack of fear of the surgery that lessened the significance of choosing a biological replacement. My concern was all the preparation leading to and recovering from the surgery. Even lying on the table waiting to be sedated I was not fearing the operation. Instead I was still somewhat tense about all the details I had to take care of. I did this on my own.

They (everything medical) will be more concerned about my ability to take care of things myself at that 2nd surgery age. Maybe by that time my age will be the new 50 then as well. There is a growing majority of older boomers and there is also a growing overabundance of problems burdening most people and this trend may work in my favor. I saw signs that medical people involved did not want to press the issue and allowed me to convince them I had it handled. Next time I doubt I will be as fortunate as I was this time around. Like this first time, they could prevent me from having surgery if I cannot meet certain requirements. My independence is a potential liability to them. Just getting a ride to and from the hospital was a major task. At least here they will not release you to a taxi or Uber driver. I paid 5x more to get a ride using a care service run by a retired nurse. They tried to get 10x more but the initial person I spoke with made a mistake and they honored their error.

In the future techniques could advance exponentially and not require the traditional OHS. They may be able to do a valve replacement non-invasively or even build a valve inside your body with a form of medical 3D printing or some newly invented technology. If not, if/when this valve wears out I am considering opting for death. Canada has liberal euthanasia laws I am hoping either spread to the USA where I live or at least maintain if not become more liberal. I am considering going wherever I can choose death without a long slow decay. The potential plan would involve relocating early enough to become a citizen and eligible to take advantage of another country's laws. Since hearing about Canada's laws it has been interesting reading how people attempt to block other people from making decisions about their own lives. "Just think how you may enjoy a few moments if you choose to live." There is much more to the decision than that.

 

[leadville]

Hey Dave you should consider getting a job to take your mind off things

 

[Wiles Darkwinter]

Anyone thought of not doing surgery ? I'm not afraid of passing away in fact I'm looking forward to not being alive and surgery looks very intrusive. What's the point if you don't have any family or any reason to live and your severely depressed already?

If you’re not afraid of passing away then you might be in a better position than most of us to actually have the surgery. I was shitting myself personally.

If you’re inviting and welcoming death, and you’re hoping that not having surgery will help this invitation along, as stated by others, it won’t be quick.

If your post is serious, feel free to DM me, I know plenty of avenues to address depression. You’re not alone.

If you’re trolling, enjoy the responses.

 

[newarrior]

I've been in counseling for 34 years I've tried numerous medications therapies etc etc. I've got what's known as treatment resistant depression.

 

[newarrior]

Hey Dave you should consider getting a job to take your mind off things

How can I get a job if I'm about to get surgery? That's one of the prime sources of my depression plus remember I am not in America nobody seems to understand that. Getting a job overseas when you're 60 years old is much more difficult than getting a job in America when you're younger. That's the whole problem I'm in the verge getting a job and I'm facing surgery soon.. getting a job here is complicated I have to get off the retirement Visa that I'm on getting back to a working Visa and how would I take a job anywhere whether it's here in other country in Asia or America from about to get surgery?

 

[newarrior]

well read Janner Johns full thread, his turn around too.

I think you'll find that after it gets bad you'll wish you just did it now.

So, take my advice and just do it now.
Either that or if you want to be dead, then I recommend a good heroin overdose. Personally I leant towards the 12Guage in the mouth. However 10 years later I've managed to have had 10 years of living ...

We each make our own decisions, but as a Finish friend of mine said "its a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Your problem is that you're just too gutless to play the hand of cards you've been dealt and actually live life.

There are no right answers, we all end up dead, so the trick is to be honest to yourself, stop whinging about "why" and just get the problem fixed.

I have to pay for my own surgery for one thing. The other thing is on the verge of maybe getting a job and I'm worried that I'm going to lose all my momentum and all the potential job offers while I'm dealing with an unknown recovery time to recover from heart surgery. Remember I'm not in america. I was thinking and maybe starting over in the states or going somewhere like Singapore but now all that is dead in the water. I just got kicked out of a cat shelter that I've been volunteering at for five years that's really devastated me as well. I've got a number of other problems going on that I'm happy to share with you in a direct message that caused my mood to go downhill. I've been suffering from chronic depression my entire life. I've absolutely been searching for ways to end my life. You don't know enough about me to make some of the judgments you're making. If you want to get into a direct messaging conversation with me on this forum or somewhere else I'm happy to explain things further. And I'm in a foreign country ..You read any of my messages? You understand I'm not in the usa or the West?

 

[newarrior]

Just because someone wanted something and could not get it does not have any bearing on whether I would or would not want that same thing.

I am very spiritual. I feel a close connection to the source, the force, the whatever. I have been comfortable with leaving this world for most of my life. I am at the age of the new 50. I have felt like I am at a fence looking at the tarmac wanting to get on board a flight out of here since I was in my high school years. I take it day by day. When the heart valve gave out I considered death but concluded it was not time.

I had valve replacement surgery last year. Opted for a biological valve for several reasons. In doing so I guaranteed another surgery if I live that long. Perhaps it was my complete lack of fear of the surgery that lessened the significance of choosing a biological replacement. My concern was all the preparation leading to and recovering from the surgery. Even lying on the table waiting to be sedated I was not fearing the operation. Instead I was still somewhat tense about all the details I had to take care of. I did this on my own.

They (everything medical) will be more concerned about my ability to take care of things myself at that 2nd surgery age. Maybe by that time my age will be the new 50 then as well. There is a growing majority of older boomers and there is also a growing overabundance of problems burdening most people and this trend may work in my favor. I saw signs that medical people involved did not want to press the issue and allowed me to convince them I had it handled. Next time I doubt I will be as fortunate as I was this time around. Like this first time, they could prevent me from having surgery if I cannot meet certain requirements. My independence is a potential liability to them. Just getting a ride to and from the hospital was a major task. At least here they will not release you to a taxi or Uber driver. I paid 5x more to get a ride using a care service run by a retired nurse. They tried to get 10x more but the initial person I spoke with made a mistake and they honored their error.

In the future techniques could advance exponentially and not require the traditional OHS. They may be able to do a valve replacement non-invasively or even build a valve inside your body with a form of medical 3D printing or some newly invented technology. If not, if/when this valve wears out I am considering opting for death. Canada has liberal euthanasia laws I am hoping either spread to the USA where I live or at least maintain if not become more liberal. I am considering going wherever I can choose death without a long slow decay. The potential plan would involve relocating early enough to become a citizen and eligible to take advantage of another country's laws. Since hearing about Canada's laws it has been interesting reading how people attempt to block other people from making decisions about their own lives. "Just think how you may enjoy a few moments if you choose to live." There is much more to the decision than that.

Thanks for your well thought out message. By the way I just want to want to remind you I'm not living in America I'm not living in the west of living in thailand. So things are very different here. For one thing I've got to pay cash for my entire surgery. I'm not in a position to go back to America do the surgery so please don't suggest that.

 

[pellicle]

You read any of my messages? You understand I'm not in the usa or the West?

Wait, what?

So where are you?

 

[leadville]

I have to pay for my own surgery for one thing. The other thing is on the verge of maybe getting a job and I'm worried that I'm going to lose all my momentum and all the potential job offers while I'm dealing with an unknown recovery time to recover from heart surgery. Remember I'm not in america. I was thinking and maybe starting over in the states or going somewhere like Singapore but now all that is dead in the water. I just got kicked out of a cat shelter that I've been volunteering at for five years that's really devastated me as well. I've got a number of other problems going on that I'm happy to share with you in a direct message that caused my mood to go downhill. I've been suffering from chronic depression my entire life. I've absolutely been searching for ways to end my life. You don't know enough about me to make some of the judgments you're making. If you want to get into a direct messaging conversation with me on this forum or somewhere else I'm happy to explain things further. And I'm in a foreign country ..You read any of my messages? You understand I'm not in the usa or the West?

What happened regarding the cat shelter Dave?

You seemed to like helping out there .