Lifting weights

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When I got into lifting weights (at around 16) I had done sports competitively since I was 6. However, I was far from an athlete. I was smoking, drinking, eating unhealthy, playing video games all day and night. Basically doing everything unhealthy except for drugs. I wasn't obese, because I was still forced to do sports by my parents but I was definitely on the thicker side. I was doing terribly in school and girls weren't interested in me.

When I began lifting weights my life changed completely. I became disciplined, I stopped taking the shortcuts, I got healthy, I started doing well in school and started to look more like an athlete. Lifting weights became the backbone to my life. I became better at all aspects of life. I actually became proud of myself.

At 19 I won a national championship in bench press and set some teen world record for that federation. Without really proper training in powerlifting. At 20 I was bench pressing 200 kg / 440 lbs at a even lower bodyweight than I did at 19. I was progressing so fast it was pretty crazy. I wanted to become the best in the world. Every year when I went to a cardiologist for a check-up I basically just ignored what they were saying. However, I did start taking some longer breaks (6-9months) from lifting heavy weights, until I couldn't resist going back.

At around 23-24 I began taking their advice even more seriously. Since then it's been a mental battle every day. I'm just waiting for the day post-operation when I can start lifting like I want again. I don't think it even matters what the doctors will say then. I don't ever want to return to what I've been going through mentally the past years.

I wish it wasn't like this. I wish I could just enjoy what I have and what I'm capable of doing (safely). I just haven't gotten there yet. For me, lifting weights goes so far beyond just being healthy. It's what made me the person that I am today and everything that I'm proud of in my life. I feel like if I loose it, I loose myself.

**

..just so this doesn't get too dark.. as a Finnish dude I can confirm what my comrades said about their Scandinavian spouses.
 
I wish I could just enjoy what I have and what I'm capable of doing (safely). I just haven't gotten there yet.
you can, to me the only thing you need to do is adjust a few basic concepts and you can.

I often reflect on my own experiences in life at reading things like this and the best thing I did was to stop bench marking myself on others (competition) and bench mark myself on myself.

There is so much that you can enjoy still, even with lifting weights. There is still the discipline, and there are other goals to reach (such as endurance and form).

. I feel like if I loose it, I loose myself
this is a romantic notion and if you start reading about suicide survivors they often understood this was a fiction on their way down to the water (when jumping off that bridge).

find your inner sisu

Best Wishes

PS: which town do you live in?
 
Impressive strength at a young age mate! awesome! And I know exactly what you’re going through.

Do you have a family history of aortic dilation/valve issues? and have the measurements of your aorta increased in size at all?

My aorta measured at just below 50mm. Which, as you know, isn't quite at the size which indicates a need for surgery, however due to having a family history, my cardiologist and surgeon both agreed to get it done now. (I am one week out from surgery, having a valve sparing David procedure on 9th Feb) And I have been assured that I can return to full physical activity.

If I were you I would get genetic testing done - which can identify if you have a genetic disposition for further aortic dilation. Also potentially get a second opinion regarding surgery. You may be considered for surgery at your current measurements depending on genetics. From my experience, because I had the family history, and the aorta was growing, I was told better an elective surgery in stable conditions than an emergency one after a dissection.

HOWEVER - surgery may not be the best option for you given that its stable? and may remain stable for many years?

Pellicle is on to something with the realignment of goals idea. You can push yourself right now, and you can still compete in many disciplines. And you can even lift weight - maybe shift to a more hypertrophy of training or Xfit?

To be honest - nothing but reproducing, shelter, eating and sleeping really matters. We create meaning in our lives.
Set yourself some gnarly goals worthy of who you are and get after it. You’re clearly a driven motivated dude. You can smash this.
 
PS: which town do you live in?
Lived in Espoo my whole life.

Impressive strength at a young age mate! awesome! And I know exactly what you’re going through.

Do you have a family history of aortic dilation/valve issues? and have the measurements of your aorta increased in size at all?

My aorta measured at just below 50mm. Which, as you know, isn't quite at the size which indicates a need for surgery, however due to having a family history, my cardiologist and surgeon both agreed to get it done now. (I am one week out from surgery, having a valve sparing David procedure on 9th Feb) And I have been assured that I can return to full physical activity.

If I were you I would get genetic testing done - which can identify if you have a genetic disposition for further aortic dilation. Also potentially get a second opinion regarding surgery. You may be considered for surgery at your current measurements depending on genetics. From my experience, because I had the family history, and the aorta was growing, I was told better an elective surgery in stable conditions than an emergency one after a dissection.

HOWEVER - surgery may not be the best option for you given that its stable? and may remain stable for many years?

Pellicle is on to something with the realignment of goals idea. You can push yourself right now, and you can still compete in many disciplines. And you can even lift weight - maybe shift to a more hypertrophy of training or Xfit?

To be honest - nothing but reproducing, shelter, eating and sleeping really matters. We create meaning in our lives.
Set yourself some gnarly goals worthy of who you are and get after it. You’re clearly a driven motivated dude. You can smash this.

I appreciate your message.

I know my grandmother had her surgery done something 20 years ago (and she is still alive and kicking at 84). I'm not aware of the details regarding her condition pre-surgery.

I have to bring up this genetic testing with my cardiologist at my next check up and also really start asking about surgery. Unfortunately (and luckily maybe) there has been a new cardiologist treating me every year for as long as I remember, so I guess I've gotten many opinions on my condition. None of them have vouched for surgery yet though by any means.
 
Lived in Espoo my whole life.

ahh ... well I worked in Helsinki while living in Kouvola ...

I have to bring up this genetic testing with my cardiologist at my next check up and also really start asking about surgery.

pretty much if you have BAV you've got the genetics.

Its like having Red Hair ... you can get the tests done but you probably have the gene. We have an entire category of forum for that group here: Bicuspid Aortic Valves And Connective Tissue Disor

Best Wishes
 
Almost two years without really lifting any heavy weights, until a few weeks back when for some justifiable reason I decided to start bench pressing again. Nothing too crazy, but yesterday I was lifting 160 kg (352lbs) with relative ease and then I realized, what the heck am I doing?

Looking back now 2 years seems to be the magic number for me. Whenever I come to the realization that I can't be lifting heavy weights (before my heart is fixed), it lasts for approximately 2 years and I'm back at it to some degree. Luckily now it only lasted for some weeks. Hopefully the next annual check-up which is coming up in 3 weeks or so will help as a reminder, that I'm also mortal.
 

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