J
John Cochran
Hello Joe!
Your mother, Jane, has told us all here about her up-coming valve replacement surgery, and about some of your dad's current health problems. When both parents are having serious health issues at the same time, it is very hard for the rest of the family to cope. I can really relate to some of the feelings you are likely having, as my family had a similar situation. My son had heart surgery last December; shortly afterwards, my father was in a serious car accident requiring multiple surgeries and a long hospitalization. Then I had to have my own heart surgery. During this time, I think everyone in my family dealt with being sad and depressed, and feeling like the world was coming apart at the seams.
Now, though, the world is looking much better. My son returned to work and just bought a new car. My dad is back living in his own home, and at 78 is taking up golf for the first time. I am back to running and lifting weights again. Life is much sunnier than any of our family would have believed possible six months ago.
It is important for you to understand that your mom is facing a major surgery, but one which will improve her health tremendously. When you first see her after her surgery, it will look a little scary. Patients who have just had open-heart surgery have lots of tubes coming out of them; they may look very pale and feel cold to the touch. Also, their faces may look very swollen or puffy. But shortly (within two or three days) some "magic" happens. Their color returns, the puffiness goes away, and all the tubes disappear! Before you know it, your mom will be walking around on her own and complaining about how bad the hospital food tastes!
Usually people come home from the hospital in five to eight days after surgery. Your mom is going to be very sore for a few weeks, and she won't be able to lift much--only five pounds until her chest heals. The first week or two when she comes home, she will need lots of naps, and help with cooking, laundry, and other chores around the house. She will also need some encouragement to walk...this is the key to recovery. Her doctor will give recommendations on how much increase in exercise your mom can do over the next few weeks. She won't be able to drive for at least four weeks.
Sometime around five to eight weeks after surgery, you will see a big change in your mom. First, her energy will start to return. Second, she will be able to do pretty much everything for herself. However, she may also have "good" days and "bad" days emotionally; this is common and due to her body reacting to all the drugs during surgery, the overall trauma, and the recovery process. Each day will get a little better, and by about 10 to 12 weeks after surgery, your mom will likely feel better than she has in years, and will be able to do pretty much whatever she wants to do.
The first couple weeks after surgery are when patients really need some help. Your mom and dad will really appreciate any help with cooking, dishes, laundry, etc. It won't be much fun, but they will appreciate it so much!
ValveReplacement.com is a place you can come with any questions or concerns you have. Someone will always be able to help answer or questions, talk to you, or advise you to talk to medical professionals.
This is a tough time, Joe, but by rising to the occassion and helping your mom and dad out now, you will discover an inner strength you never knew you had. Your ability to cope with future stress will be much enhanced when you learn what a difference one person can make.
Take care--you have our best wishes and support during this tough time.
--John
Your mother, Jane, has told us all here about her up-coming valve replacement surgery, and about some of your dad's current health problems. When both parents are having serious health issues at the same time, it is very hard for the rest of the family to cope. I can really relate to some of the feelings you are likely having, as my family had a similar situation. My son had heart surgery last December; shortly afterwards, my father was in a serious car accident requiring multiple surgeries and a long hospitalization. Then I had to have my own heart surgery. During this time, I think everyone in my family dealt with being sad and depressed, and feeling like the world was coming apart at the seams.
Now, though, the world is looking much better. My son returned to work and just bought a new car. My dad is back living in his own home, and at 78 is taking up golf for the first time. I am back to running and lifting weights again. Life is much sunnier than any of our family would have believed possible six months ago.
It is important for you to understand that your mom is facing a major surgery, but one which will improve her health tremendously. When you first see her after her surgery, it will look a little scary. Patients who have just had open-heart surgery have lots of tubes coming out of them; they may look very pale and feel cold to the touch. Also, their faces may look very swollen or puffy. But shortly (within two or three days) some "magic" happens. Their color returns, the puffiness goes away, and all the tubes disappear! Before you know it, your mom will be walking around on her own and complaining about how bad the hospital food tastes!
Usually people come home from the hospital in five to eight days after surgery. Your mom is going to be very sore for a few weeks, and she won't be able to lift much--only five pounds until her chest heals. The first week or two when she comes home, she will need lots of naps, and help with cooking, laundry, and other chores around the house. She will also need some encouragement to walk...this is the key to recovery. Her doctor will give recommendations on how much increase in exercise your mom can do over the next few weeks. She won't be able to drive for at least four weeks.
Sometime around five to eight weeks after surgery, you will see a big change in your mom. First, her energy will start to return. Second, she will be able to do pretty much everything for herself. However, she may also have "good" days and "bad" days emotionally; this is common and due to her body reacting to all the drugs during surgery, the overall trauma, and the recovery process. Each day will get a little better, and by about 10 to 12 weeks after surgery, your mom will likely feel better than she has in years, and will be able to do pretty much whatever she wants to do.
The first couple weeks after surgery are when patients really need some help. Your mom and dad will really appreciate any help with cooking, dishes, laundry, etc. It won't be much fun, but they will appreciate it so much!
ValveReplacement.com is a place you can come with any questions or concerns you have. Someone will always be able to help answer or questions, talk to you, or advise you to talk to medical professionals.
This is a tough time, Joe, but by rising to the occassion and helping your mom and dad out now, you will discover an inner strength you never knew you had. Your ability to cope with future stress will be much enhanced when you learn what a difference one person can make.
Take care--you have our best wishes and support during this tough time.
--John
