I don’t know what to do anymore

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TGM

Member
Joined
May 1, 2022
Messages
19
the jaws scene is hilarious (I'll have to watch it again now)

Come back when you're on OHS 3, but IMO you don't want this
14359984689_1377ed3cfa_z.jpg

(and all that's beneath it)

I do hope you're one and done mate, its the best way IMO
My son is a 4 timer and his scar looks a lot like yours
 

carolinemc

Well-known member
Joined
May 31, 2010
Messages
1,258
Location
kansas city, mo
@carolinemc if you still have the card St Jude sends out a few months after your op it will say on there.
My number starts with 27AGN,
27mm is the size and the AGN I believe denotes it is a Regent.
My fathers valve was a 25A-101 St Jude.
I have heard the number is also imprinted on the valve surface itself but this is a bit hard to check haha 😊
I still have the card, due to the accounting of the federal government for they want to know how many mechanical valves are out there. And I do not care about the numbers since I am in America. And I got the card two weeks after surgery. But am doing good, except the irregular heartbeat. And I am starting to lose some weight, but do not know where it is going. LMAO
 

Amy

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 6, 2013
Messages
254
So....you don’t mention any complications post-op. If you didn’t have any, you are extremely lucky; however, not having had them, you neither have the gratitude that comes from them finally going away.

Embarrassed? Who gives a $&*# about being embarrassed? Sooner or later you’ll realize that other people are not worth getting embarrassed about something over. If you learn that lesson earlier rather than later because of your valve tick, it’ll be a good thing. Not to mention you can sort right out of your life any idiots who think it matters. (I doubt there will be many, though.)

stand on your own! Own it! Think for yourself! If someone that you LIKED who was strong and resilient had a tick, would you mind? Or would you get over yourself? Life is short. Don’t waste time on inessentials.

When I look back on the times I was embarrassed in my life, I realize there was nothing to be embarrassed about at all. It was all an incredible waste of anxiety when I should’ve been focusing on just having fun, following my interests, having the confidence to find nice people to spend time with...

Also, the only people I really remember from high school were the ones who were unique. Thanks to this, you’ve got that covered.

Having said that, if you wore a tank top to school every day for a couple weeks, I’m sure in that time everyone would *find a way* to move on. Even you.
 

B-ryan

Member
Joined
Jan 13, 2022
Messages
9
Unlike everyone it seems, I’m 17 with a mechanical heart valve, I had it replaced last year and I experienced no symptoms beforehand but whatever.
The tick has ruined my life, I’m now extremely depressed because of it. Idk if I got really unlucky and I got a super loud valve, but this valve is extremely loud. I don’t want to wear T shirts anymore in the summer, in fact now I hate summer and wish it was always winter.
I don’t want to do my exams in the summer in the hall, because I will be emitting such an embarrassing noise I have no control over, and there is no escape from this hell I now find myself in.

idk what I can do anymore, I never expected this and it has completely ruined my life in every aspect. I don’t even like sitting in cars if the engine is off unless my door is open because the valve is that loud.
I had my heart valve done at 17. The ticking and the scar bothered me for a while, but you get used to it. I can’t even hear it now. In the end, it makes me who I am.
 

newarrior

I have mild moderate Aortic Stenosis live Bangkok
Joined
Jun 28, 2019
Messages
541
Location
Bangkok Thailand
Unlike everyone it seems, I’m 17 with a mechanical heart valve, I had it replaced last year and I experienced no symptoms beforehand but whatever.
The tick has ruined my life, I’m now extremely depressed because of it. Idk if I got really unlucky and I got a super loud valve, but this valve is extremely loud. I don’t want to wear T shirts anymore in the summer, in fact now I hate summer and wish it was always winter.
I don’t want to do my exams in the summer in the hall, because I will be emitting such an embarrassing noise I have no control over, and there is no escape from this hell I now find myself in.

idk what I can do anymore, I never expected this and it has completely ruined my life in every aspect. I don’t even like sitting in cars if the engine is off unless my door is open because the valve is that loud.
So the scar is really nightmarish? You don't want to take your shirt off? I live in Thailand so I can totally relate to that that would be a nightmare. How long does it take for the scar to heal up or disappear.
 

newarrior

I have mild moderate Aortic Stenosis live Bangkok
Joined
Jun 28, 2019
Messages
541
Location
Bangkok Thailand
I'm not 17. But I did have the same valve replaced by a mechanical. If someone asked about a ticking noise, I would say "I had surgery and part of my heart was replaced". The person may ask followup questions. Or they may not.
That's great it probably shocks the hell out of most people :)
 

Superman

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 2, 2009
Messages
1,611
Location
Grand Rapids, MI, USA
So the scar is really nightmarish? You don't want to take your shirt off? I live in Thailand so I can totally relate to that that would be a nightmare. How long does it take for the scar to heal up or disappear.

I think if one is waiting for it to disappear, they will be set up for disappointment. Scars are permanent. Experience says you’ll get used to it and stop worrying about it soon enough. It’s there. I don’t think about it most times. I’m more self conscious when I’m carrying extra weight than any scars.
 

LondonAndy

VR.org Supporter
Supporting Member
Joined
Aug 1, 2015
Messages
548
Location
London, UK
So the scar is really nightmarish? You don't want to take your shirt off? I live in Thailand so I can totally relate to that that would be a nightmare. How long does it take for the scar to heal up or disappear.
Once the skin has sealed (about 6 weeks), apply something like Bio Oil daily to reduce the appearance of the scar. Avoid exposing the wound to the sun for a year, I was told. Comparing my scar with a guy at a BBQ who had his surgery within a month of mine, the difference was very significant - mine is hardly visible.
 

Art O Ceitinn

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 6, 2013
Messages
58
Location
Neuilly Plaisance
Unlike everyone it seems, I’m 17 with a mechanical heart valve, I had it replaced last year and I experienced no symptoms beforehand but whatever.
The tick has ruined my life, I’m now extremely depressed because of it. Idk if I got really unlucky and I got a super loud valve, but this valve is extremely loud. I don’t want to wear T shirts anymore in the summer, in fact now I hate summer and wish it was always winter.
I don’t want to do my exams in the summer in the hall, because I will be emitting such an embarrassing noise I have no control over, and there is no escape from this hell I now find myself in.

idk what I can do anymore, I never expected this and it has completely ruined my life in every aspect. I don’t even like sitting in cars if the engine is off unless my door is open because the valve is that loud.
Hi SadAnonymous
I had my first heart operation at 15 years young and I remember its not what you want as being in your teens is confusing enough. I am now 71 (next week) and having a wonderful life with normal ups and downs. And yes I still hear the tick tick tick.
 

carolinemc

Well-known member
Joined
May 31, 2010
Messages
1,258
Location
kansas city, mo
That scar means you're a bad ass. You went through something terrible and survived. Wear it with pride. Just another perspective.
Not that the Open-Heart Surgery is something terrible to survive. The fact you survive is a great thing. Adding years to your life is so worth it.
 

pribanic4

New member
Joined
Jul 24, 2022
Messages
4
well let me say that its only your attitude which is the issue here, many many people suffer much greater handicaps (even as simple as being born with a birthmark on their face) and managed to get on with life.

I was diagnosed at 5 and had my first surgery at 10, that caused some issues in my younger life but as Jack Torrence said:
View attachment 888504

so that gives you a few years to come to grips with it ;-)

some advice: as a lad I despised religion (went to a catholic school) and discovered Stoicism. Those guys are all about building resilience not dependence (on the religion or god)
Some examples you could ponder.

View attachment 888505

in this I'd say what you have to do is clear: pass your exams

View attachment 888506

Lastly I'd say this comedic cartoon sums up modern people:
View attachment 888507

to me the true problem is you don't have enough actual threats to your life and limb and being in basically a safe place fall prey to anxiety.

I recommend if you can't get a handle on it to see a psychologist.

be the one of these people:
View attachment 888508

You only have one life, so enjoy it

Best Wishes
What an insensitive answer , if this feels like the end of the world , that’s what it feels like to her , at 17 even a pimple is catastrophic. Let her have her feelings , hopefully in time she will learn to accept it or the advancement in technology will have developed some simple procedure to quiet the clicking sound . My sweet Mom had 3 OHS’s , her mechanical V did make a clicking but only if you were right next to her and no other background sounds , with time she herself became immune to the sound and honestly I think she was aware of more then anyone around her . But she also wasn’t 17 !! I am so sorry she had to endure this surgery at all … may God give her the courage to accept this and someday realize it’s ok . ❤️To her
 

pellicle

Professional Dingbat
Joined
Nov 4, 2012
Messages
10,415
Location
Queensland, OzTrayLeeYa
What an insensitive answer
yes, of course it was ... how un-woke of me. I mean its not like there was any message of strength or encouragement.

Its not like I've been there before and have anything to offer in the way of seeking strength. We should all just celebrate the dark terror and give in to that.

My most sincere apologies to those how need God to find any inner strength (which of course is not their own strength but Gods because we are just nothingness).

if this feels like the end of the world , that’s what it feels like to her

I'm sorry that I missed that the OP was female ...

My sweet Mom had 3 OHS’s

and how many have you had? Oh, I know, that was insensitive of me ... sorry
 

pribanic4

New member
Joined
Jul 24, 2022
Messages
4
yes, of course it was ... how un-woke of me. I mean its not like there was any message of strength or encouragement.

Its not like I've been there before and have anything to offer in the way of seeking strength. We should all just celebrate the dark terror and give in to that.

My most sincere apologies to those how need God to find any inner strength (which of course is not their own strength but Gods because we are just nothingness).



I'm sorry that I missed that the OP was female ...



and how many have you had? Oh, I know, that was insensitive of me ... sorry
Have one coming up in not so distant future . I merely stated at the tender age of 17 just starting to explore life and love and relationships it must be very tough . My ❤️ Goes out to her .
 

Superman

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 2, 2009
Messages
1,611
Location
Grand Rapids, MI, USA
Have one coming up in not so distant future . I merely stated at the tender age of 17 just starting to explore life and love and relationships it must be very tough . My ❤️ Goes out to her .
I think there is a fine line between acknowledging feelings and suggesting ways to mitigate/move on vs. encouraging someone to wallow in bad feelings. I think we do too little if the former and too much of the latter these days. In the past we just denied people their feelings, and that was wrong as well. There’s a balance.

I was 17 when I had my first open heart and already shared my experience and what I remember of my feelings at the time up thread. But I remember a supportive group of friends and family and don’t recall being self conscious in part because I’m just not wired that way and in part because of the support I had.

I just hope the OP is doing okay and is willing to give us an update or ask questions or whatever. There’s a willing supportive group here even if we’re out of their demographic.
 

pellicle

Professional Dingbat
Joined
Nov 4, 2012
Messages
10,415
Location
Queensland, OzTrayLeeYa
I merely stated at the tender age of 17 just starting to explore life and love and relationships it must be very tough
no you didn't you had a go at me and exactly said: What an insensitive answer.

I guess you and I have entirely different world views, which is fine because we do need all different sized cogs in a gear box for it to work.

Some folks are
1658782290585.png


some are practical and believe support comes from a different angle

I hope you have a textbook surgery and event free recovery.

Best wishes
 

TomD

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 28, 2008
Messages
61
Location
Placerville, CA, USA
Unlike everyone it seems, I’m 17 with a mechanical heart valve, I had it replaced last year and I experienced no symptoms beforehand but whatever.
The tick has ruined my life, I’m now extremely depressed because of it. Idk if I got really unlucky and I got a super loud valve, but this valve is extremely loud. I don’t want to wear T shirts anymore in the summer, in fact now I hate summer and wish it was always winter.
I don’t want to do my exams in the summer in the hall, because I will be emitting such an embarrassing noise I have no control over, and there is no escape from this hell I now find myself in.

idk what I can do anymore, I never expected this and it has completely ruined my life in every aspect. I don’t even like sitting in cars if the engine is off unless my door is open because the valve is that loud.
I don't notice my valve ticking at all now. And main thing to remember is that the 1 or 2 years you have left in high school is only 2% of your potential 90 years. Once you get on into college the peer presure you feel will melt away. One idea to try if it's bothering your sleep is a noise machine. I have that now and it miminizes the ticking.
 
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