I can't get life insurance anymore after my surgery. Suggestions.

Help Support ValveReplacement.org:

Protimenow

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
3,263
Location
California
Hey, Caroline -- if you have religious reasons to require cremation, don't let me stand in your way. For others who have no traditions to follow, and to whom the dead body is just an empty shell, cremation may not be the best choice.
 

tom in MO

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 17, 2012
Messages
1,272
Location
MO USA
When you are dead, you have no choice. If you make the path easy and inexpensive for your heirs or your executor, they will probably do what you want.
 

carolinemc

Well-known member
Joined
May 31, 2010
Messages
777
Location
kansas city, mo
Hey, Caroline -- if you have religious reasons to require cremation, don't let me stand in your way. For others who have no traditions to follow, and to whom the dead body is just an empty shell, cremation may not be the best choice.
Not religious perse', I am a type 2 diabetic that affects all major organs, making my body unacceptable for study, since my body would tell them nothing new. And I have financial and personal reasons for choosing cremation. I have traditions, Native American Indian way of disposal of the body, cremation. So I stand with my decision, Protimenow, as you so yours. I choose cremation, you may choose donation to medical science.
 

carolinemc

Well-known member
Joined
May 31, 2010
Messages
777
Location
kansas city, mo
When you are dead, you have no choice. If you make the path easy and inexpensive for your heirs or your executor, they will probably do what you want.
I agree with you. Burial alone is thousands, and then the casket, more thousands. And then the graveside service, big question mark there. But that runs thousands of dollars that homeless, those on SS and SSDI, and limited retirement income, have no way to cough up that kind of money. I choose cremation for it is a cheap, easier way to go. Easiest on those left behind.
 

carolinemc

Well-known member
Joined
May 31, 2010
Messages
777
Location
kansas city, mo
Everyone should have at least one person that also has access to their money. This is in case you are incapacitated. This person can use your savings or checking account funds to pay for the funeral. That's what we did for my surviving parent.
That is what an advocate or appointed with an attorney does. Good idea. But bad if you are still able to care for yourself. Can be taken advantage of. Many crooks out there.
 

Protimenow

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
3,263
Location
California
Not religious perse', I am a type 2 diabetic that affects all major organs, making my body unacceptable for study, since my body would tell them nothing new. And I have financial and personal reasons for choosing cremation. I have traditions, Native American Indian way of disposal of the body, cremation. So I stand with my decision, Protimenow, as you so yours. I choose cremation, you may choose donation to medical science.
I'm not suggesting how you deal with your remains. It's, of course, a personal decision. I was just trying to point out that, personal reasons aside, the donation of a body can help others -- as for me, I don't have any plans (and probably should).
 

carolinemc

Well-known member
Joined
May 31, 2010
Messages
777
Location
kansas city, mo
I'm not suggesting how you deal with your remains. It's, of course, a personal decision. I was just trying to point out that, personal reasons aside, the donation of a body can help others -- as for me, I don't have any plans (and probably should).
Not just a personal reason, everything I have, medical science and studied and would be of no use due to my medical conditions that would render vital organs useless, called Type 2 diabetes. It can destroy all major organs. And medical science has studied that for many years. So nothing new for them to study. Sorry to disappoint you.
 

honeybunny

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 20, 2015
Messages
1,038
Location
Outside Houston, Texas.
I hope you have that in writing about him paying for you funeral expenses that should include the casket and funeral services. Unless you are going the cremation route. And if you have a plot already. That can run you about several thousands of dollars. I will be doing cremation. Easier and Cheaper.
It cost me almost $30k for my husbands two funeral services 19 years ago this coming January 11. One in Houston where we lived and a second in Detroit where he was from. It was a sudden death so my decisions were emotional, not logical. I checked into cremation her a few years ago and even that was running $10k (Houston area) with no plot. I talked to my daughter about one of those body farms but she hated the idea. Dying is just expensive.
 

catwoman

VR.org Donator
VR.org Supporter
Joined
Sep 23, 2003
Messages
5,990
Location
near Fort Worth TX
It cost me almost $30k for my husbands two funeral services 19 years ago this coming January 11. One in Houston where we lived and a second in Detroit where he was from. It was a sudden death so my decisions were emotional, not logical. I checked into cremation her a few years ago and even that was running $10k (Houston area) with no plot. I talked to my daughter about one of those body farms but she hated the idea. Dying is just expensive.

(Sorry for the length of this reply.)

On body donations: Condition of the body, some causes of death can rule out a body donation. You may have already signed paperwork with a willed body program and then death occurs so far away –- perhaps while vacationing overseas — that body donations plans are changed to cremation. (I have seen paperwork for one medical school’s willed body program.)

A direct cremation is far less than $10K. You just have to know how to do it and who to use.

My sister died in March at age 67 after 1 week at an in-hospital hospice unit following a previously undiagnosed and untreated malignancy was found.
My niece flew down from St. Louis, where her father-in-law is a funeral director. He advised her to do a direct cremation and not go through a traditional funeral home, which charges more. The hospice social worker gave her brochures, with some prices as low as $500, including transportation to the crematory. She handled all details by phone or email, never met an employee in person. Death certificates were an additional charge. She also paid extra to have my sister’s cremains shipped to St. Louis; only the U.S. Postal Service — not FedEx or UPS — can ship cremains.
My sister died on a Saturday, and my niece and her husband gave a celebration of life at Cathy’s favorite Mexican restaurant the next night.
My estimate is my niece paid about $1,500 for everything, including the restaurant’s bill.

When my father died 4 years ago, my youngest sister paid a traditional funeral home $4K-$5K for his cremation, where she had a memorial service was held 3 weeks later. I had quotes from funeral homes and cremation agencies for direct cremations for far less, but she refused to compare costs.
So she blew money (and then handed me my parents’ cremains 3+ years later to do something with, but no $$ to do it with).
My dad was an Air Force veteran, so I asked my niece’s funeral director father-in-law about the VA cemetery (Jefferson Barracks) in St. Louis. He offered to handle everything. We drove my parents‘ cremains from Dallas TX to St. Louis and it took 2 weeks to get all approvals for space at the columbarium there. Their marker was installed in September. No cost whatsoever for anything. George refused to charge me. I made honorary gifts to 2 Catholic charities in his name as a thank-you.
If all goes OK, we will move to St. Louis in 2020. My husband is an Air Force vet, so we will join my parents at Jefferson Barracks some day.

Many people put off final decisions (my sister didn’t even have a will or POAs, etc.). I advise everyone to decide now what should be done and also get wills, POAs, advance directives, etc., written and signed. My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2014. We signed new wills and other papers in 2016 and it was a burden off my shoulders. My will creates a trust for my husband; his will is a routine one.

Do your homework now. You may be in top health today, but we’re heart patients. Things can and do go south. I spent 20 years as an obituary writer and many family members complained about how much arrangements cost and bad-mouthed Funeral Home A or Cremation Agency B over their charges. Save your next of kin some worry.
 

tom in MO

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 17, 2012
Messages
1,272
Location
MO USA
I agree catwoman. You can find a way to take care of a deceased person for less.

I had a friend die in prison and his last request was to not let the state penitentiary have his corpse. The warden put me in touch with a funeral director's association in my city. They rotate low cost cremations between different firms. I had his body picked up, delivered (300 mile round trip) and cremated for ~$500. Another friend arranged a no-cost service at the local Christian church that serves gay, lesbian, transgender, not-in-the-mainstream people. Since he never had a home, his ashes sit in the living room of that friend and will be mixed with hers when she passes.

The best laid plans can go awry, since you are dead. My parents ashes are in my sisters closet...don' ask why.
 

pellicle

Professional Dingbat
Joined
Nov 4, 2012
Messages
6,996
Location
Queensland, OzTrayLeeYa
having buried a few people now (you don't want the list) I can say that I'd like to plan when I go. I lean towards a fishing charter boat, attracting some sharks with some burley then my body can go over the side and job done.

If it happens I'm killed before the time I pick then its all out of my hands anyway.
 

dick0236

Eat the elephant one bite at a time
VR.org Supporter
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Messages
2,968
Location
louisville, KY USA
[QUOTE="catwoman, post: 894956, member: 897]
Many people put off final decisions. I advise everyone to decide now what should be done and also get wills, POAs, advance directives, etc., written and signed...........
..........Do your homework now. You may be in top health today, but.....?
[/QUOTE]

I agree with all that "catwoman" posted. Too put off these decisions is SELFISH, COSTLY and CHILDISH. Either you make these decisions, in writing, or your government will make them, by formula, for you........and that may be against your personal wishes.
 

honeybunny

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 20, 2015
Messages
1,038
Location
Outside Houston, Texas.
(Sorry for the length of this reply.)

On body donations: Condition of the body, some causes of death can rule out a body donation. You may have already signed paperwork with a willed body program and then death occurs so far away –- perhaps while vacationing overseas — that body donations plans are changed to cremation. (I have seen paperwork for one medical school’s willed body program.)

A direct cremation is far less than $10K. You just have to know how to do it and who to use.

My sister died in March at age 67 after 1 week at an in-hospital hospice unit following a previously undiagnosed and untreated malignancy was found.
My niece flew down from St. Louis, where her father-in-law is a funeral director. He advised her to do a direct cremation and not go through a traditional funeral home, which charges more. The hospice social worker gave her brochures, with some prices as low as $500, including transportation to the crematory. She handled all details by phone or email, never met an employee in person. Death certificates were an additional charge. She also paid extra to have my sister’s cremains shipped to St. Louis; only the U.S. Postal Service — not FedEx or UPS — can ship cremains.
My sister died on a Saturday, and my niece and her husband gave a celebration of life at Cathy’s favorite Mexican restaurant the next night.
My estimate is my niece paid about $1,500 for everything, including the restaurant’s bill.

When my father died 4 years ago, my youngest sister paid a traditional funeral home $4K-$5K for his cremation, where she had a memorial service was held 3 weeks later. I had quotes from funeral homes and cremation agencies for direct cremations for far less, but she refused to compare costs.
So she blew money (and then handed me my parents’ cremains 3+ years later to do something with, but no $$ to do it with).
My dad was an Air Force veteran, so I asked my niece’s funeral director father-in-law about the VA cemetery (Jefferson Barracks) in St. Louis. He offered to handle everything. We drove my parents‘ cremains from Dallas TX to St. Louis and it took 2 weeks to get all approvals for space at the columbarium there. Their marker was installed in September. No cost whatsoever for anything. George refused to charge me. I made honorary gifts to 2 Catholic charities in his name as a thank-you.
If all goes OK, we will move to St. Louis in 2020. My husband is an Air Force vet, so we will join my parents at Jefferson Barracks some day.

Many people put off final decisions (my sister didn’t even have a will or POAs, etc.). I advise everyone to decide now what should be done and also get wills, POAs, advance directives, etc., written and signed. My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2014. We signed new wills and other papers in 2016 and it was a burden off my shoulders. My will creates a trust for my husband; his will is a routine one.

Do your homework now. You may be in top health today, but we’re heart patients. Things can and do go south. I spent 20 years as an obituary writer and many family members complained about how much arrangements cost and bad-mouthed Funeral Home A or Cremation Agency B over their charges. Save your next of kin some worry.
I’m not familiar with direct cremation. I will check it out. I think the quote I got was based on one night of visitation. I’m not certain but I think my children would want that.
my husband and I had talked about death after we met even though we expected to grow old together (he was 49). Michael would laugh and say “bury me in the back yard”. But we never got specific. And the unexpectedness of his death had me in an emotional tailspin. He loved that he was from Detroit and I knew deep down that’s where he’d want to be buried. His mother and sister expected a visitation there. I was too shell shocked to argue.
if our talks had been more specific I would have skipped a visitation and Mass here. I agree 100% that we all need to discuss death openly.
Thanks for the information.
 

Latest posts

Group Builder
Top