Typing in this from a Houston hospital where I had surgery a week ago today. Briefly:- I was very worried about the breathing tube as I have a terrible gag reflex and have ripped dental devices out of my mouth on more than one occasion due to panic. I was so sedated I barely knew the tube was there. I'm tried to speak several times and was surprised when no sound came out, having forgotten that part. At removal time the surgeon himself did the removal and suctioned n, telling me to cough repeatedly.
Drain tubes were painful if I moved such that they were pushed to pulled. One crazy ICU nurse decided I had to be turned on my side and wrapped like a sausage even as I protested. I took it for a minute then shouted "this isn't working" because the tubes were digging in. Everything was fine when I lay still and they proactively managed my pain. Current discomfort is from sitting up in this hospital bed. Didn't sleep much last night or this, but there is no pain and I'm on my IPad.
Regarding dying: for a number of reasons, this thought has never been buried deeply in my mind. As pecille said, we could be killed driving to work. I've experienced tragedy personally and certainly read about it. So I prepared by getting my ducks in a row so family would know my wishes. I also told them that is anything happened they needed to know that there were a whole lot of people I was looking forward to seeing again because that's my belief. My focus was on them being prepared "in case". This gave me a sense of control. I also reminded myself that unlike many other diagnoses, my issue could be fixed and that others would trade places with me in a heartbeat, e.g., the mom of a 12-yo girl who drowned while on a school field trip the week I got the news about my valve. Try to keep things in perspective. Keep reading here to be prepared. That was very helpful because I didn't get a play by play as I was in ICU; I knew what was going on from reading here.
