difficult times

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sylviayasgur

sylviayasgur

VR.org Supporter
Supporting Member
Joined
Sep 1, 2001
Messages
2,307
Location
Westchester, NY
hi all,
i'm sorry i haven't been on for quite some time. i do peek in from time to time to make sure you're all still ok.

joey's dad, i think i mentioned some time ago, is 89 years old and has deteriorated tremendously over the last few months.
his aortic valve is stenotic, he has severe chf. he takes lasix and even stronger diuretics now, but they work temporarily and then his kidneys start having problems and he gets very tired. he sleeps most of the days, can't move too well since he is so short of breath and has dementia.
the doctors say that they could operate on the valve, but putting him in the hospital would disorient him even more and maybe kill him.

so, it's been a waiting game here..... one week he's a little more alert, the next week he's totally bloated and out of it. a roller coaster for us all.
joey has two sisters. one is in fla. for the winter and the other visits her parents and takes them out a lot. we have a standing dinner date with them every monday night and see them in between.
joey has taken on the role of caretaker, doctor-appointment-communicator person, he has hired people to help and live in with them, and ... we live a mile from them, so we get called when there is a problem.

it's been very sad and it's a waiting game.
we are praying that when he does go, he has a quick and painless heart attack and that would be it. the doctors tell us that this would be the best for him. (he could also just deteriorate slowly until the end_ just dragged out).

joey has been holding up amazingly well; i don't know that i could be that strong or compartmentalize as well as he does.
so, hopefully i'll be on more, but for now, it's difficult.
i miss you all and hope you stay well,
sylvia
 
Hi Sylvia

I'm sorry tohear about Joey's dad.....I'll put you all in my prayers. I lost both my parents when I was very young....Mom at 19 and my Dad at 25, but when I hear of someone losing a parent, it always brings back sad memories.

Be well, take care, and just do what you have to do for Joey's Dad. We'll be here......well, hopefully.

Evelyn
 
So sorry for your difficult times, Sylvia and Joey. It is heart wrenching when we need to care for our parents in their later years. We've been there, done that 4 times over and I know how difficult and busy a time this is for you. Sending prayers and best wishes that Joey's Dad has a peaceful and easy time of it. Remember to take some time for yourselves as well.
 
Sylvia and Joey-

My heart goes out to you both. It is the saddest time when someone you love is slowly getting sicker, and even the doctors don't know what the right thing to do is. May he have peace and comfort.
 
Sorry to her about Joey's dad, and the difficult times. Best wishes that he has an easy time of it. You should look after yourselves as well. Take care.
 
Hi Sylvia -

I have missed your cheerful posts. I'm so sorry for what you all are going through.

It kind of reminds me of how my dad was having a lot of heart problems his last few years and he was hoping to have alcohol ablation for hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. He would swell so badly that he felt like he was drowning and that's how the doctors said he would go; he was a brave man but he was also absolutely horrified at that knowledge. Then a really awful late-stage cancer was diagnosed, which he valiantly fought with no hope of winning, but he had several weeks to say goodbye to everyone and his end was peaceful (for him of course but still painful for us). I feel for you.
 
Sylvia and Joey, sorry to hear the conditions and the choices. My kidneys are doing much the same thing his are and I have to admit, I'm getting really scared now. No matter what, I'm bloated and nothing I do changes it. Well I hope for the best, whatever the best may be and hold you all in my prayers.
 
It is wonderful that you are all working together and that you have outside help. I know that this is a very difficult time. We never want them to linger and suffer, but we don't have a choice, do we. So we hang in and give them all the love we can while we can. I know how difficult this is for all of you - and him. Bless you all.
 
So sorry to hear of your troubles.

So sorry to hear of your troubles.

Hi Sylvia,

It's amazing how we're able to handle things we thought we never could when we're faced with them... although we may all do it differently.

Thinking of you, Joey and your family.

Rain
 
Sylvia and Joey,

Very sorry for what you all are experiencing right now.

Please know that thoughts/prayers are coming to you both and your entire family.



Cort:33swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve.pacemaker
PICS:lego.HO.model.MCinfo.RT.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort
"Who's gonna hold me tonight?" ... Trace Adkins ... 'Help Me Understand'
 
So sorry to read about Joey's Dad. But at least you are able to give him the care he needs...you are there for him. Hard on you, though. My best wishes for peace and comfort for all of you.
 
Sylvia... I'm so very sorry to hear that Joey's dad, and the two of you, are going through all this. I've been thinking about you guys lately, just wondering what you've been up to.

There are no easy answers in this kind of situation, as you of course know first hand... only the hope for a passing that is as peaceful and dignified as possible.

Please give Joey my best, and let him know that each of you, especially his dad, are in my thoughts and prayers. You and Joey did so much for me and my mom leading up to and, indeed, even during my surgery. She's told me several times how much she appreciated your efforts. I, likewise, will always be grateful for your kindness.

Joey's father is fortunate to have such wonderful family as the two of you.
 
Sylvia, I'm so sorry to read your post and find that things have become more difficult. I will remember your family in my prayers.
 
Sylvia,

My heart goes out to you and to Joey. This reminds me too much of my mother's last months, but in her case cancer stepped in and ended things in a very unpleasant way. It is so very painful to watch a loved one go slowly. . .

Our prayers are with you.
 
Sylvia -

Sylvia -

So sorry to hear of Joey's dad not doing very well. I hope that your remaining time together will be full and rich. Prayers and thoughts are being sent your way.

Christina L
 
phyllis, nancy, wayne, susan, ross, ann, rain, cort, nan, stretch, karlynn, dave, steve, and christina,
thanks, thanks, thanks! what would i do without you all and your incredible support?
although i hate to hear that some of you are familiar with this experience, it's reassuring to see that we will get through this.
i cannot thank you all enough for your thoughts and prayers; it _as you know_ can be so painful.
joey's dad, fortunately, is so good natured that even if he did know what was happening, he'd never complain. that in itself makes it even more difficult to see him that way.

i also appreciate the reminder that we need to take care of ourselves. i think we have_somewhere along the way_ forgotten about us. thanks for the reminder!

you are all so very special to us. please know that you are so appreciated, each and every one of you.
sending you all hugs. hope you all stay well,
sylvia
 
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